May I Borrow Your Copy?

I'm really not sure what happened, but somewhere along the line, I seem to have lost my answer key to my life's question book. Not sure how that happened, but I really need it back, if anyone finds it.

It seems lately that there are so many questions that I just don't have answers for. Hard questions. In fact, I don't even think I requested the study guide, let alone answer key, for some of the things that have come up of late, because I never thought I would need them.

In hindsight, I might have been able to pass the tests I am going through, or find the answers, had I only known that these subjects would come up. Instead, with no forwarning, I find myself in the midst of the hardest midterm of my life, about my life, with nothing but my own mind, wit, and what little wisdom that I have, to try to get me through. I'm not sure that any of that will be enough. I think I might be in so far over my own head, that I just don't know if I can pull this one out. My friends have tried to help the best they can and I appreciate it. I do. I love them for it, in fact. They are there, cheering me on, hoping that I find the right answers on my own, because the truth is no one but me can find the answers this time.

In truth, these questions really aren't a pass or fail kind of thing. It would be more like one of those books I remember reading a lot in middle school where you came to a point that there was a question about the action, and you got to choose how a character responded. Your choices led you down a different path with in the story, and each choice resulted in makeing a different outcome. I used to love those books, and would read them over and over again, each time choosing a different responce, just to see all the possible outcomes.
The problem with life is that I only get to make the choice once. I can't go back and re-do it so that it ends up with a different outcome, if I don't like what I get. So, I have to think very carefully, and really choose well.

It isn't easy. I'm not sure that anything is life is, but I can assure you that some choices are much harder than others.
Right now, I'm going to think carefully, and try my best to choose wisely. I realize that I have the power to change this story, and I intend to choose as carefully, and wisely as possible, because I really want a good ending.

Music for the Masses (of kids)

We love music around here. All kinds of music. Sometimes though, I think that if I have to hear one more song by a princess, or some tried, true, and oh so tired children's song, I am going to sew my own ears shut. Might even help take care of the "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy,Mommy,Mommy..." problem.

Instead, I have been trying to choose music for my kids a little more selectively. Right now, my girls really love the Beach Boys. They like a lot of old rock.
I have found that to be a good compromise for us. A little Beatles, some Beach Boys, and a tad of Elvis for good measure, make a great play list for the kids.

When it comes to music specifically for kids, though, we have issues. I have been able to find one newer artist they love, Hullabaloo. I have to admit, I love them, too.

Today, i decided to dance with my girls. We do it sometimes. I put a CD on, close the blinds, and we dance like crazy. Today's pick, by request of the big one, was Hullaballoo's Tall as a Tree.
I have really been listening to the words and lyrics in songs more than ever, trying to find inspiration when I can. I have to tell you, Steve writes a mean lyric on some of these. These songs have a great sound, that I can actually listen to, and enjoy. They are really have a great message too. Songs about how life changes, or taking things one step at a time at great for kids and adults. Even if they don't have a great message, they are just great in general.
If it weren't for Steve, I would never have realized that I carry a grown up sippy cup, but I do. I'm telling you, give them a listen. You'll probably find yourself dancing to them with your kids in your living room, blinds drawn tight, some day too.

Life Changes in a Flash

Sometimes, your walking around in life, having a great time, just doing your thing. Maybe you aren't even having a great time, but your in your life, where you know what is going on, and how things are supposed to go. You have a plan. You have a vision.

Then, out of no where, some thing comes at you like a 10 ton boulder and knocks you off your feet. You get the breath knocked of you. Your beaten and broken, and your left laying there, trying to make sense of the world around you, after that boulder flattened everything in its path, including you.

Sometimes, that just happens in life. Maybe there are warnings. Maybe you heard the boulder rumbling as it rolled before it came into view. Maybe there are no warning, and it came just as quietly as a mouse, but with the force of a n elephant, to topple your world.

No matter whether you knew it would or could happen or not, the force is the same. The boulder does the damage it can, and then you are left there to survey, and start over, broken, hurt, and different from its impact.

Some people can go on, and though they will always be different, you can never heal to be exactly the same way you were, you can be ok. Some people won't be able to go on. The boulder will leave them too broken to be able to continue.

Me. I am going to pick my self up. I am going to brush off the dirt that it left. I am going to allow myself the time to heal to breaks that have been caused. I know that I will never be the same, but I am not going to lye under that boulder and let it hold me down. I will make a new path, in this different world, changed by the impact, and though I don't yet know this new world, or know what that path will be, I am going to make it the best that I can.

I will be ok.

I'm Third Fiddle

My mom is in visiting. I love her. I really do. I am ever thankful that she is here, helping out, and doing what she can to make my life easier. Mainly, she is taking care of the girls, which is honestly all that I want or need. She pretty much takes over with the girls the moment she gets in. In fact, I kind of get pushed out the door.

Once my mom, or Mim Mim as she is known around here, gets in, the Big One instantly asks me when I am leaving so that Mim can baby sit. They don't even play like they need me or miss me.

The Big One wants only my mom to take her to school, which actually meant that I had to load everyone up, drop them both at the designated area, circle around while mom walks her into the school and to class, and finally come back for mom. As long as she feels like Mim is taking her, that is ok, though.

Mim takes them to the park with out me. She stops the ice cream truck, something I never do, to make sure they get a treat.

In fact, though she is my mom, I can tell you that she really doesn't even come to see me. No. I am welcome to go where ever I like, when ever I like, and she will be here with the kids. That is the way she likes it. We spend some time together, but it isn't a lot. I don't really mind playing third fiddle anymore. I don't know if I ever did. I appreciate her help so much, that I am willing to give up first and second chairs, and skooch on over to the third, as a trade off for a little peace and quiet. Really, I am just so thankful that they both love my mom, and value her. I am also thankful that they get the benefit of all of her wisdom and experience. I hope that she imparts a little of herself into both of them each and every time she is with them. If that means I take the backseat, so be it. It is more roomy back there anyway.

Pancakes at Our House

We have a few loose family traditions going on over this way. Two of them revolve around food and both happen to be on Sunday.
Every Sunday night is pizza and game night. With my husband deployed that has morphed into pizza and a movie night because I just can't play Princess Monopoly with a 5 year old and a 2 year old by myself. It doesn't start or end well. Once my husband gets back, we will go back to pizza and a game night, which we all enjoy.

The other Sunday food thing is that each Sunday morning, I make pancakes. I make a pretty good sized batch, so that I have some for at least one other day, like Tuesday morning, already made.

The Big One loves pancakes now. Loves them. And I love that she loves them so much. So, we get into pancakes around here. Usually, I make different shapes for them. The staple of our pancake shapes are hearts and stars. I have however branched out on occasion. I have made a rocket. We do roses every now and then, and of course there are seasonal pumpkins.




Today, though, I made my first butterfly. I was a little worried that it wouldn't even resemble a butterfly, but it turned out ok. It wasn't great, though. So, I tried again, and the second one looks pretty good. Good enough that you can tell what it is. If i hadn't let it get a little over done, it would have been awesome! I even put some colored sugar crystals into the batter, to give it a little color and spots, and make it a little more butterfly ish. The Big One loved them, and was absolutely tickled with her butterfly.



The Little One, well, she really isn't a big pancake person. She did down a banana, and some of my eggs with chipotle salsa, though. Maybe one day, she will get into pancakes, but probably only if I make one shaped like a steak.

Yesterday vs. Today

Yesterday, my oldest looked like a young version of California Skipper.

Skipper is of course Barbie's little sister.

My Big One is tall and very thin. She has super duper blond hair that is very long. I pulled the top half of her hair up and braided it, and left the rest down. I put her in a hot pink gauzy top with a cute little jean skirt. She is really tan from all the time outside she has been getting. The hot pink really set off that tan. So, between the outfit, the hair, the tan, and everything, she really made me think of California Skipper.

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Today, she looks like something from where the wild things are.

We ended up running a little behind today for several reasons. She got a cough last night and was up all night. So, I tried to let her sleep a little more, but she is still tired. Then, I had a cute outfit picked out for her, but, as we were about to put shoes on, I realized that her pants had a big hole in the knee! So, I had to run and grab her new pants. Now, the shirt and pants don't exactly go together, but it was the best I could do in a flash. I ended up with not enough time to redo her hair from yesterday. So, I just took it down, brushed it, and put a head band (that didn't go with anything she was wearing, but happened to be the most neutral one I could find) in her hair. She has this wild frizzy crimped looking hair sort of floating all around her now. Then, she kept messing with her head band, and pulling on the hair in front of it, so small sections would get pulled up and out, sort of hornish. It was hilarious.


Seriously, the difference between yesterday and today is amazing, but I happen to think she is beautiful both ways.

Another San Diego Special

When we first moved to San Diego, I have to be honest, I hated it. From the depths of my soul, I found it to be the most foul place we had ever lived.

This city is huge and impersonal. The people are impersonal. You have to really learn your way around. I had never been on the west coast, and to me, the water was east. So, I would get lost all the time. I used to cry nearly everyday that my husband went to work, because I was home, and alone with my little girl. I was really miserable.
At some point, I realized that I needed to change things for myself. I got involved with local mom's groups, and finally found one that I loved (I actually started running it. Why wouldn't I love it. lol) Anyway, though being a part of a group like mine, I started to explore San Diego, with other moms, and found it has so much to offer, if you choose to see it.

Today was a great example of what San Diego has to offer. I took my little one to Sea World for the first time. I used to take the big one all the time, when I first found the mom's group. We bought a pass, and we would go a couple of times a month. I finally got back into that with the little one, and I am so thankful. She had a blast. Since we live here, we went for just a few hours. It wasn't like I had to fit everything in today because we were on vacation, or anything like that. No, we went and played for a while in Elmo's Bay of Play. WE even rode one of the rides for little kids. Then, we went to watch some dolphins. After we saw them flip for a bit, we headed over to see the Shamu show. I think the little one is now in love with Shamu. She kept hugging herself and rocking like she was rocking a baby. She wanted to hold and pet Shamu. It was adorable. She was really riveted most of the show. When the show was over, we checked out some sharks in their super cool shark enclosure, and went home. We only saw one show, and didn't even see a third of the exhibits, but it is totally ok. We can go back anytime we want!
With a silver passport, I get free parking, and we don't eat lunch in the park. So, we spend no extra money. Totally cool! We can just hop on over anytime we want, because we happen to live in a city that has so many cool things like this for families to do.

Now, I love it here. Once I get my older one settled into a better school, I will be even happier. I only wish I had started exploring the city and all it has to offer even sooner.