So, Apparently I Have a Crappy Reaction Too

The Big One has been beyond excited about the new baby coming. It has been such a pain to keep her quiet. We didn't want to tell anyone until after we hit 12 weeks. We made the mistake of telling her about 6 days before that. She had the hardest time. The first day after we told her, when she came home from school, I ask her who she told.
Her eyes got big. She couldn't look me directly in the face.

"No one."

"Who did you tell?"

"I didn't tell anyone. They just looked at your stomach and guessed."

"Who did you tell?"

"Well, I only said 'b' and they thought you had a bee on you. So, then I had to tell them no, and they just figured it out."

"Who did you tell?"

"Katyln."

And is has been like that every day. Our appointment was on a Thursday. So, on Wednesday, she couldn't take much more. She told everyone, and I mean everyone, that she had a huge family seceret that she couldn't share. That includes telling her teacher. I have since ask her never to tell her teacher that there is a family secret she can't share again.

We go to the appointment, and get to see the baby. We release her from her bond of silence. You would really think that chains had fallen off her.

As soon as we got to school the next morning, she ran to her class and started telling all of her little girl friends. I know she was telling them because one at a time they all looked at my stomach, then smalled and laughed. Some of them told her conratulations, which I found quit funny from one seven year old to another.

Afterschool that day, I ask her who all she told.

"Everyone"

"Really? Eveyrone?"

"Well, no. Not everyone. I only told my whole class. I didn't get to tell everyone out of my class yet."

Ahhh....I see.

So it has been everywhere we go, with each friend we see. We had Girl Scouts yesterday. She ask me if she could tell her leader, Ms. Sarah. I told her that was fine. Though we both have a claim to Sarah, I as a friend, and she as an adult in her life, she is way more into telling than I am, obviously.
She ran in, and instantly blurted out the news. Ms. Sarah looked at me and ask if it was true, she does know The Big One pretty well after all. I confirmed it.

We talked about it for a bit, but I admit, I am not excited when I talk about it. I kind of make it sound like no big deal, so much so, that Sarah remarked on my lack of exuberance. Apparently, I am the one who isn't reacting well for other people.

It isn't that I don't care, or that I am not excited. I am. This, though, is our third child, and I don't feel like running up to everyone I know and telling them that we are expecting. I don't want my every conversation to be about the baby. That's what first time moms do. I'm not there anymore. This baby is a whole new chapter in our lives, and one that I am happy about for sure, though. I look forward to meeting it, and loving this brand new little person who will change our lives in so many wonderful ways. I look forward to new experiences, and experiences that will be new all over again.

I guess I just need to work on my own facial expressions and things. Maybe its the fact that no one I love has really been happy for us, and it is starting to affect my own outlook. Maybe once I'm not so tired and nauseous that I want to spend the entire day in bed, I can muster up the energy for a better reaction myself. I'm not sure, but I promise to work on it. After all, I can't expect the world to be happy for us, if they don't think I am happy for us.

And The Sign Said "People with children need not come...to school"

Tonight was Back To School Night, aka Open House, at The Big One's school.

We didn't go because at the last minute, we were un invited.

Rude, huh.

I love Back To School night. I love talking to the teacher, checking out the classroom, all of it. I love being a part of her day to day experience, in any way I can. I try to be involved at school as much as I possibly can.

Then, today, I was told I wasn't wanted.

Well, only because I have children. The event was deemed adults only. Unfortunately, I have no one else to care for my children tonight, especially not when they notify you last minute. The first I heard that this was adults only was yesterday, when The Big One came home. She said something about it, but it sounded more like a request, understandable, and believe me, if it were easy and free for me to get a sitter at the drop of a hat, or if MimMim (grandma) lived here, I wouldn't take them anywhere I didn't need to, especially not when I wanted to talk to my child's teacher about that child. Shew. That would be great. Unfortunately, that isn't our reality. Our reality is that we are often a one parent household by way of the U.S. Navy, and definitely don't have the budget for an on call nanny. So, where I go, they go. I guess the school decided that wasn't ok with them.

I have a few issues with all of this. Just a few.

1) We are in a predominantly military area. This means many of the families that attend this school, like us, have no family, and no one to call on in a pinch that would be free. So, we are excluded from all adults only activities.

2) The notice was totally unacceptable. We got a phone call, followed immediately by a email carbon copy of the phone message, only this morning, after school had started. While it may have been difficult, had someone made this very clear the first day of school, which I grant you was just about a week ago, I could have called around to friends and begged for a little help. Someone, with some notice, would have been able to help me, but telling after the school day has started to suddenly change my plans is so unrealistic, I can't believe anyone who has ever been a parent would have done this.

3) The worst part of all it, and there are other arguments that could be made as to why having open house be adults only is wrong, is that we are a Title 1 school. Being a Title 1 school means that you have been recognized as having a large portion of your student population who belong to economically disadvantaged families. The schools are setup with extra funding and specific guidelines to assist these families in breaking down the barriers to those children's success. One of the greatest barriers to a child's success in school is a lack of parental involvement, and Title 1 schools are specifically supposed to combat that. In fact, they are required to have in place a plan on how they intend to improve communication between the school and parents. It would seem to me, that what this school did goes against everything that being a Title 1 school is supposed to be about. They, in fact, put up a specific barrier between the school and parents tonight.

The school could have done something that many other schools do; offer on site child care for those that had to bring their children. However, when I called to inquire as to why I was dis invited today, the front office staff told me that they had no place for childcare. I suppose that very large multipurpose room where were initially supposed to gather, then separate to our individual classes, wouldn't contain all the children that would be left behind? Wait. That doesn't make any sense. So, someone, somewhere, just dropped the ball, and upset parents. At the very least, I am upset.

I know for sure that there are parents who will be bringing children with them. I know there will be rule breakers. I am just not one of those parents. I might have feigned ignorance of this ridiculous demand, especially since it was sent so late I could have actually missed it, but I got called out earlier. My husband, trying to help out, and find out as much as he could, went to the teacher to ask what I should do, as the teacher and I had planned to discuss my assisting him with something right away tonight. The teacher ask that I meet with him tomorrow. So, I just couldn't go against his wishes.

While I am very upset, heartbroken truthfully, I will handle it the any adult will. I will make a huge fuss, stomp my foot a lot, and then be sure things are changed for the better. Hurting my daughter, though, is crossing the line. She was very excited for me to see her classroom, and so on. She said she cleaned her desk really hard today. She was totally heartbroken to see me so upset.

I will talk to the principal, and make sure they try to fix all of this before the next open house, because we just can't have The Big One hurt again, and she shouldn't be by a silly policy like this.

That's My Blonde Girl

If I haven't ever told you all this, my oldest child is a blond. She is very blond at that. Not only is her hair color as said, but sometimes, and this isn't as mean as it is going to sound, her level of awareness is pretty blond also.

Now, I have to tell you that she is not a dumb blond. Not at all. In fact, she really makes me think of my little sister, whom I love dearly and will not be mean to, as promised, in this blog, so that she won't cry while reading it. Shew. Disclaimer over.

They are a lot alike. Both of them are quite intelligent. My sister has a degree in sociology from a pretty snazzy university. She holds down at least 2 jobs all the time. She does very well at them. She can hold her own in a political conversation, if she chooses to, which I think is fantastic. That being said, don't ever, ever ask her for directions. Not even to her own home. Now, I could go from here, and tell you some fantastically wonderful stories that would make you giggle, but, as promised above, I agreed not to make her cry. The thing is, even though she is intelligent, my sis lacks common sense in some areas, and there are certain areas where she simply doesn't have a high level of awareness. Her mind just works differently. It isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it is a very special character trait that makes her who she is. I think that is the reason she is such a creative person, and she is.

The same goes for my daughter. She is very intelligent. I am often surprised by how intelligent she is. She is also incredibly imaginative and creative, just like I remember my little sister being when she was this age. Much like my little sister, though, I fear for my daughter sometimes. That lack of common sense and awareness can lead them to some situations I wish they could have avoided.

Today, for example, the big one walked into a pole. No really. Just like you see in the movies or on TV, she walked right into a pole. The pole didn't jump out in front of her, and it has been there long before she started to school there. It seems that on the way to snack time, which is held where they eat lunch outside, she began chatting with a friend, and when she turned to talk to her friend, she lost complete awareness of her surroundings and walked smack into a metal pole. It hurt. She has a knot and will have a pretty ugly bruise. They took her to the nurse's office and put ice on it. Then, they called me. I went to school and checked it out. I decided she was fine. While I did tell her the she was not allowed to rough play the rest of the day, the teacher had her sit in the sand box during recess, I thought she was fine to go back to class. Bless her heart, though, I doubt this will be the last run in of its kind. This is the reason that I keep my cell phone on me at all times when she is in school. You just don't know.

I could see my sister doing something very similar. In fact, just the other day, she managed to rear end a car at a red light, after they had both stopped. Similar concept. Neither the pole nor the other car had moved. They were both there before either of my loved ones got there. It just happens that way for the two of them.

I suppose, though, my sister actually gives me hope for my daughter. She turned out pretty well. She manages to get through most days mishap free. There are the occasional calls to her husband because she ran out of gas, or lost her keys, again, but all in all, it seems to be fine. That is part of the reason I love her husband so much. He is there to help balance out that character trait. I can only hope that when my child grows up, and isn't with mom and dad anymore, she finds someone similar, who will balance her out, and come to her rescue as needed when she locks herself out of the car for the 5th time that month, or what have you. Heaven knows every one needs someone to add a little more balance to their lives. These two just need it in a more certain area and they are both all the more endeared to those around them for it.

P.S. I will come and bring you gas, or pick you up when you loose your keys anytime, at any hour, both of you. Love you.

Poor Bleeding Heart Baby

My daughter got her emotional side from me. I know she did. She had to come to me a few minutes ago for some comforting. Daddy just wouldn't do. Apparently Air Bud, the Disney movie, was just too sad for her. She couldn't even hang out through the end to see if things worked out ok. I had to reassure her, and basically force her to watch it through to make sure she knew it came out well.

I feel for her. It is tough being an emotional person. I cry at everything. Little things, big things, meaningless things, and certainly the meaningful things.

Its ok, baby, Mom will always be here with a shirt that you can wipe your tears on, and a some arms to wrap around you. Just use a tissue for the snot, if you will, please.

Love you Pook.