I DARE You to Protest Me

I got a really interesting email from my local Girl Scout Council today.  Apparently, someone out there is trying to make a stink about how Girl Scouts supports abortion.
Right.
Totally.  We talk about it every day.  I personally try to sneak in as much about abortion into our curriculum as I possibly can.  I teach them how to plant a seed, and then deceptively tell them its ok to pluck the seed if it sprouts up when you don't want it.

No.  Wait.  We DON"T do that at all.  In fact, one of the things that I LOVE most about Girl Scouts is their policy of having no policy.  See, Girl Scouts keeps that idea that some conversations are better left to each family, and have no place in Scouting.  This topic being on of them.
That makes me happy as a parent, not just a scout leader.
Girl Scouts adheres to the basics, supporting your community, growing up to be a strong, self confident your lady, things like that.  Everything else is left up to each parent.

The email I received in a way, let us know that people might try to talk to us about these views at cookie booth sales.  The letter said that we didn't need to talk back, but we could if we wanted to, and it give us a direct link to the online post causing the stir, as well as the real information on the official policy.  Basically, it let us know that we may encounter protests.  At a cookie booth sale.
Seriously.
No.  Really.

So, here is what I have to say to all those who might want to protest.
1.  Leave my girls alone!!
You want to see me go momma bear, go after my cubs.  (I know we aren't Cub Scouts, but I thought that would be cute here.)  Every single one of the girls in my troop becomes mine the moment they join.  You will not harm them in any way, that includes scaring them.  Nope.
2.  If you do want to engage, you engage me.  Just me. I will respond.  I will be prepared.  I will let you know in no uncertain terms that you are not only ignorant of the truth, but totally absurd for believing that Scouts would actually teach something like that.
3.  Recognize that the entire purpose of Girl Scouts is to raise strong young women who will stand up for themselves and what they believe in.  The Biggest One is a prime example.  Since she is mine, I'll let you try this one out.  Go ahead and tell her that you think Scouts is teaching her to murder children.  Then, be prepared for the wrath that ensues.  In that moment, I'll give her a pass on respecting her elders.
4.  One other "little" belief you may have missed is that we support God and country.  I think you will find, at least in this area, that many of the families of my girls are rooted in the Christian faith.  So, you are totally barking up the wrong tree here.

Some people have lost sight of Jesus in the name of Christianity.  If you think for a moment that the right thing to do is to go after a group if Girl Scouts in regards to abortion, then you may as well go join the Westboro Baptist Church.  That is their mentality.  If you think for a moment that it is ok to scare small children, then you are the one who deserves judgement, not a parent who is working to help her child go to camp.
What you need to do is sit in on a Scout meeting.  See what we really do and who we really are.  My girls are awesome.  The other ladies I work with are awesome.  My goal at every single meeting and in between is to do anything I can to support them in reaching their full potential.  I want them to learn.  I want them to grow.  I want to see the amazing people that they will become.

I hope they are all life long scouts and are always just as proud of the organization as I am.

Oh, Boy Scouts, You Keep on Breaking My Heart

You know, I hate to say it, but the Boy Scouts just keep breaking my heart.
I love Scouting.  I really, really do.  I see all the good it can do in a child's life, and I believe in that good. I want to see that good.
It's hard, though, when the organization that is supposed to do all that good keeps doing things that make me sad.
The Boy Scouts have banned obese kids from their Jamboree this year.  This makes me very sad.

I love Girl Scouts.  I realize that no organization is perfect, it isn't possible, but Girl Scouts does so many things right.  My girls love it.  The Biggest One just came back from a week at camp, and she has decided that she wants to get her Gold Award, stay in scouts until she graduates from High School, and then work at the camp during the summer as her job when she isn't in school.  She loves it that much.

So, I looked at her, and told her, very basically, about what the Boy Scouts just did.  I didn't tell her who had done it.  I ask her if the Girl Scouts did this, how would she feel.  She immediately started to tear up. Her heart broke.  She said it was incredibly mean to leave people out like that.
I let her know that Girl Scouts didn't really do that, but Boy Scouts did.  We talked about it.  The Biggest One thought that was a horrible thing to do.  The Boy Scouts think that their new rule will be a motivational, and make the kids want to lose weight to go.  So, I ask her, would she be willing to work harder to go to camp, if there was a rule like this that would affect her, mind you she isn't obese at all.  She said it would make her not want to go to camp all together.  She wouldn't even want to be a part of it.  This, from the same child who just told me her goal was to be a part of that same camp forever.

See, Boy Scouts, you did it all wrong.  How about letting the fat kids come, and then trying to get them to be healthy there.  Did you also ban obese Scout Masters?  I mean, if you want to set a good example, how about starting there?
The Boy Scouts don't really have a good history with banning people. Perhaps they should have thought about how a ban on anyone worked out for them in the past, and considered the fact that bans on segments of your population tend to divide and not bring people together in a positive way.

Right now, I am doubly thankful for fact that I don't have to deal with all of this.  Girl Scouts wants to bring us together, not tear us apart, and I love them for that.
I sincerely hope that The Boy Scouts get things figured out quickly.  Like I said, I love scouting.  I love what it has the potential to do, and i would love to see that potential be brought back in all its glory with The Boy Scouts.

Update on the Netflix Situation aka Amazon rocks

A while back I posted about Netflix totally screwing over their customers and giving up on a hole bunch of content.  I was upset, and rightly so.
We had considered going to red box streaming, but hadn't figured out how just yet with the limited devices they have.
Then, it hit me, why not check out Amazon streaming?  I mean, I knew they had it, I had just never paid attention to it before.
Big mistake.
I should have been looking there all along.
We have an Amazon.com prime account, something I highly recommend.  It absolutely pays for itself in our house.  Now, I find out that streaming comes with it.  You can watch a ton of things for free, or, if you want, you can even rent, or buy the new stuff before it is available for free.  How awesome is that?  We don't even have to go get movies from Redbox anymore!  We can rent them right from Amazon!!
I say a big Woot, woot to that!
The kicker for me, though, is that the moment Netflix let their contract for all those Nickelodeon shows expire, Amazon picked them up.  That means Dora on tap again!!  Yeah!!  And there was much rejoicing as the sounds of angels, or The Fiesta Trio, filled the air.  Seriously.  We already pay for prime.  So this was incredible added value for us!!
On top of that, Amazon is constantly adding current content to it's streaming, an area where Netflix lags seriously behind.  Already, My Husband and I have found a new show we love to watch together on those rare nights we actually get to sit down and watch TV.  Something we would have missed out on with Netflix.
The ONLY down fall to Amazon's streaming thus far is that I can't get it on my phone yet.  Sometimes, if we are desperate, The Girls have watched netflix on either of our phones or on the Kindle.  Amazon won't stream to our phones, though I can stream, with a wireless connection, on the Kindle.  I just don't happen to have one of those everywhere I go.  I do have one on my phone.  Other than that, I have to say that Amazon has made me one seriously happy consumer.  Thrilled, actually.  I'm so over companies that think they can do anything they want to consumers, and we will just take it.  Don't let them.  Seek alternatives.  In this case, come join me at Amazon!  Its totally worth it!

P.S. In case anyone wonders, I am not paid in any way for my opinions here, I give them freely and liberally.

Thank you, Paula Deen, From The Bottom of My Southern Fried Heart

There are certain things, or people in this world that can easily move me to tears.  My mom is one of those people.   Without a doubt, I love my mom more than I could possible truly express in words, either written or spoken.  She has done more for me than so many would ever be willing to do.  She has given so much, and I don't mean things of monetary value, but things that are worth far, far more.
So, when something upsets my mother, I take note.
The other day, we were discussing the great Paula Deen witch hunt going on.  I do believe it is a witch hunt.  For whatever reason, people just want to take her down.  I'm not saying she is perfect, but I believe that reactions should be appropriate, and not outlandish.  It is, of course, one of those things that make you shake your head, but rarely do they have you truly emotionally upset, unless you are personally involved.
My mother, it seems, does take it very personally.
As we were discussing it, she became very upset.  Her words were almost shocking to me.  I had no idea how much she really likes Paula Deen.  Paula Deen means a lot to my mom in ways that I never understood.
Several years ago, my mom found out she had breast cancer.  It was bad.  She waited, though, until after I had given birth to her first grand child to allow any treatment to begin.  She wouldn't even tell us what was going on.  She, knowing that we had problems during the pregnancy, didn't want to take any chances of upsetting me.  So, three days after her first grandchild was born, she had a partial mastectomy.  After that, she started radiation and then Chemotherapy.  She did radiation for a few months, but years of chemo.  First a long bought of IV chemo, then pill form for years afterward.  It was a tough battle, but one that she has been victorious in so far.  She is a survivor.
It was also during that time that Paula Deen really came up in the TV world.  She was on TV all the time.  My mom, who works for herself in a very small business, hadn't ever had the time to sit down and watch much TV, until then.  She loved Paula on TV.  Paula was joyous and happy when mom was struggling to keep that herself.  She made great food, and my mom is a recipe addict.  She was uplifting to my mom in a time when she desperately needed that, just by doing what she wanted to do and being herself.  Paula Deen every day gave my mom something to look forward to when she wasn't allowed to leave the house, see her friends and family, or even go to church because her immune system had just bottomed out.
Paula Deen became a sort of friend to my mom, just through the magic of television.
Now, people have taken something that Paula Deen did years ago and blown it up beyond belief.  Everyone makes mistakes.  Everyone.  As Paula herself tried to say, and to paraphrase the Bible, let he who is without sin cast the first stone.
She apologized.  She says she has mended her ways.
My mom says that as long as she meant it, then she should be forgiven.  That is good enough for God and if it is good enough for God, it should be good enough for all of us.
My mom believes in Paula Deen, and I believe in my mom.
So, to Paula Deen, I want to say thank you.  From the bottom of my heart, Thank you for being there for my mom.  Thank you for giving her joy in the hardest time of her life.  I appreciate you now so much.  Just like my mom, you may never know how many people's lives you have touch in ways that you will never know about.  I'm glad you were there, though.
Thank you.
I hope you keep having your cooking classes.  I would love to be able to send my mom one of these days.  She would love it.
I really hope you decide to self publish that cooking book that was supposed to come out.  This is one I would buy two copies of, one for mom and one for me.
I hope you come back, better than ever, so that you can be a great, smiling face that the world needs.
Keep your head held high, and please keep on being you.
And most importantly, thanks again, for all those smiles and laughs you gave my mom.

I Could Have Sworn I Was Born Here......

I'm going to give you all a little piece of unsolicited advice.  You may do with it what you will, but if you choose to print this out and cram it somewhere, I don't need to know about it.

The advice I am going to give you is absolutly unoversal, and should you chose not to heed it, could make your life much more difficult.

Never.  Ever.  Assume you know where someone is from, where they were raised, how they were raised, or their background.  Always let them, or facts, tell you.  

Assumning you know someone will undoubtedloy get you into troiuble.  Or  fight at a PTA meeting.

Tonight, as I was being jumped on, I was told repeatedly that I didn't understand something because I wasn't from the Bible Belt.  

Ummm........

Wrong.

I was born and raised in North East TN, which is much more of a Bible Belt than this is.  I was raised in a town that had a massive protest when Applebee's tried to open up because the sign was going to say "Bar and Grill" and bars are to be hidden, never put out on display.  This was when I was in High School, too.  Not back in the 50's.

I was raised in a Pentecostal church.  Look it up.  

I get the religious side of things.  

My sister happens to be an associate pastor at her church.  Not that her job means anything as far as my credintials, but I'm pretty sure that if I do something totally antireligious, she is going to call me out on it.  

Howwver, tonight, I kept being told I just didn't understand.  I just don't get it.  I am not from "here".  

I am right now, personally offended.  Perhaps I should take it as a total compliment that people don't view me as being from "here".  After all, if this is the land of religious zealots who don't want to understnad technology for fear that Satan is always behind a cmputer, then I'm good with not being from "here".  

What, you may ask, was all the hub bub about?

Bar codes.  

You know how everyone has a bar code for everything now.  There are bar codes on your grocery store cards.  There are bar codes on every product you buy.  Really, look around, and they are every where.  People even have apps on their smart phones to be able to scan them.
However, when it comes to membership in a organization I am part of, they just won't fly. 

Apparently, people here would totally reject it, and at some point in time in the very contentious discussion, someone likened them to the mark of the beast.  

I kid you not.  

I couldn't make that up.  

All of this was thrown at me, me the person who didn't even suggest car codes but had looked into the feasibility for someone else, because I couldn't understand people.  I am an outsider.  So, I took the brunt of everything.

I may not sound like people do here, or act or think like them.  I may be open to change and multiculturalism, but that doesn't mean I don't know anything about here, too.  I've lived more, experience more, and been through more than many people.
Do not assume you know me.

I get that a lot of crazy things happen in California.  People out there want to ban Oreos, and that stands as evidence enough of some of the goofy things that happen, but goofy things happen everywhere.  Like people flipping out about bar codes.  It just so happens, though, that people in CA wouldn't be afraid of bar codes.  They are much more open to people of different cultures and experiences, because everyone in CA is from a different culture or experience.
So, if you want to call me that mom from CA, go ahead.  I may have been born and raised in East TN, but if being open minded and forward thinking equals being from CA, I'll take it in a heart beat.
In the mean time, if you want to know what I think, how I feel, or about my experience in life, ask.  I'll be glad to tell you.  All the while trying to plan my escape back to California, land of people who embrace bar codes.  

Netflix, Why Have You Forsaken Me?

I think Netflix has it out for me.
Actually, I feel like they want to see how far they can push their customer base repeatedly until they no longer have one.  They seem to love pissing off the masses.
Today, they succeeded with me.
A while back, when they switched all heir pricing plans, and lost tons of customers, people were pissed.  They decided that streaming and DVDs would be separate services, and cost much more individually than they had together.  OK.  Fine.  We didn't stream.  It totally sucked to lose that value, though.
THen, a few months ago, we were actually able to get a free trial of the streaming, and come to find out, we loved it.  They had all kinds of things my kids both would watch, and were actually allowed to.  In addition, they had Dora the Explorer on tap, and let me assure you, if you have ever parented a young toddler, Dora and Diego can be your best friends when you are at your wits end.  So, needless to day, we stuck with it.
I don't even bother turning on the Cable box about half the time anymore.  We just pull up Netflix, and turn it on Dora int he morning while I fix breakfast so that The Littlest One can get her fix, and I can actually get breakfast fixed.
We have loved it.  I have felt the service was well worth the extra money for streaming.
We did consider the new RedBox streaming service that is currently in Beta.  It is cheaper than Netflix.  You also get Redbox rentals which means current movies.  That meant there was way more value there since we pay separately for actual DVDs from Netflix.  However, RedBox doesn't have the Nickelodeon shows we love.  So, we stuck to Netflix even though there was a cost difference.
Then, today, they lay the whammy down.  No more Nick tunes.
Netflix decided not to renew a TON of stuff for their streaming.
Gone.
All gone.
My baby is devastated.
I am devastated.
No more Dora while I fix dinner.
No more Dora when I am about ot pull out my hair.
Now, I have to get out the DVDs, turn on the DVD player..etc, etc, etc.  HASSLE.
I feel like they took back that little piece of sanity I had been paying them for.
So, I think I'm done.
With the whole thing.
They are now only slightly better than RedBox streaming, and only because of the ease of the devices.  Redbox is still in it's infancy, and hasn't caught up to all the things Netflix can use.  That's ok.  I will make it work while they keep adding devices.
Now, I will get to choose Redbox movies a couple of times a month, instead of constantly missing the mail lady and never returning my Netflix movies when I want to.
Yes, I see a major switch happening, and I hope lots of people follow.
Netflix has consistently shown that they don't care about their customers, because they were the only real game in town.
No more.
Red Box, get ready for some new subscriptions. I'm starting my free trial ASAP.

Update to No Social Media For You

I wanted to throw this out there.  When I say young children  I suppose I really mean children in general, unless parents are sure they are responsible, and are prepared to be a part of their online access.

This is exactly why I think kids shouldn't have that much online access:

Story about a fight caught on camera and posted online.

This fight was posted all over the internet, and now this child won't come home.  How terrible. I don't care who started it, who finished it, etc.  What I care about is the fact that other kids used social media to magnify this girl's pain to the point that she has run away.  

The parent of every child who had a phone, videoed this, put it on Facebook, or was involved without doing something should take a serious stand with their kids.  You don't kick someone when they are down.  

I hope they find this girl, and she is ok.

Eight Years and Torture

For the last two birthdays, The Big One has begged me to have a sleep over for her birthday party.  This time, when she begged, I gave in.  I'm not sure why, but I think most of it was guilt because her Dad was going to be gone at the time, and I wanted to make sure she still had a wonderful birthday.  That, and there must have been some sort of temporary insanity that allowed me to to agree to do this a)by myself, b) with an infant to care for as well, and c) with 6 other little girls.  Actually, we invited 9, knowing that not all of them would come.
I ended up with 6 guests, plus my three children, all by myself, for a very girly, Hello Kitty themed birthday party sleep over.
As I am actually blogging about this, you may assume that I survived.  You would of course, be correct, but don't assume I survived unscathed.  I'm pretty sure that the amount of stress that I incurred cost me years of my life.   I would guess one year for each guest.  Six years are gone that I can never get back.

I planned the best I could for this party.  I bought a new Wii game that they all could play, Smurf Dance Party, and it was also physical.  My idea was to get them dancing for hours so that they would be exhausted before bed.  We picked out a movie to watch once they got settled in bed.
Though, some of my planning caused more stress than it should have.  I should have had pizza delivered, but instead I opted to let them make their own.  I should have just had cake and ice cream, but instead I made the cake and decorated it myself, then we did make your own ice cream sundaes to go with it.  Those two things probably cost me a good 2 months of the year I lost, but by no means was it the worst part.  That falls squarely on the shoulders of the girls themselves, in particular, three of the girls who did the greatest amount of damage.  Three little girls that I will very generously just call "high maintenance".  Let me assure you none of them were maliciously bad, but they each have their own personality twists that I should have taken into account when planning, and didn't.  In all fairness, I didn't know one of them at all until after the sleepover.  One of them would not participate with the group.  She was constantly somewhere else, no matter what I tried to get them to do.  If the other girls were smurf dancing, she was in the back playroom, trying to go through every bin of toys, toys for younger children mind you, that she could.  If the other girls were playing "Don't Say Hello Kitty", a game devised by my own child and not unlike the baby shower game where you can't say "baby", she was in the back room (again) playing with the play kitchen.  If the other girls went to the back room, she was pacing back and forth between my stair well and me, repeatedly asking me why she couldn't go upstairs and play.  When it was time to lay down at night, the other girls all gathered together to sleep in their sleeping bags, and she would inch worm around the room in her bag, until she hit the guinea pig cage.
And oh the poor guinea pigs.  This event probably cost them time off or their short lives as well.  I swear that I must have said "don't touch the baby" and "don't touch the guinea pigs" at least 40 times each in about a 18 hour period, that did include some sleep.
And by some, I mean a very few hours.  When it was time for bed, I couldn't get them to sleep.  It wasn't so much that they weren't tired.  I just couldn't get them to stop talking.  Again, one in particular, ad different one, wanted desperately to talk ALL NIGHT LONG.  Finally, about midnight, I told her to actually zip her lips, and that she wasn't allowed to speak again.  I lay on the couch, and "shhh"ed her every time she started talking.  After about 40 minutes or so of that, they all fell asleep.
Since most of the girls stayed up very late, I expected them to sleep at lease a little in the morning.  I was wrong.  Very wrong.  They were all up by about 7am.  The Big One was mainly the cause because she was up, and ready to go instantly.  She ran to her room, threw on a dress, because she needed to look snazzy at 7am on a Sunday, and was ready to go.
I was prepared for the morning.  I had cereal, muffins, fruit, and croissants all lined up so that they could get what ever they wanted.  I'm may be crazy, but I wasn't crazy enough to think I was going to cook.
By the time i got them fed, dressed, and then put everything away, we only had a little time left.  Score one more for thinking ahead, I had a craft project.  I had them decorate frames with hello kitty pieces I cut out with my cricut.  Then, when I get back the pics from the party, I'll give each one a framed pic along with their thank you note.  Anyway, that project was a huge success, and was the quietest my house had been for since the whole thing started.  Lesson learned, keep them busy!



Still, this was certainly a learning process for me.  Sleepovers of more than two children at a time are hereby prohibited until a girl reaches the age of at least 14 where I will no longer be cool or needed by her.  At that age, I will be able to set food out on the counters, lock the doors to the house, set the house alarm so that no one can get in or out, and then go hide in my own bedroom, with door locked, until everyone is gone.  That I will do anytime.

Justice for Children

Like every other basically good person in this nation who has seen or heard anything about the Casey Anthony trial, I am deeply disturbed that she got off on the murder charges.  I can't say that I think being found not guilty on the murder charges was the wrong verdict as far as the jury goes.  I believe the jurors when they say there wasn't enough evidence, and that isn't their fault.  I do think they could have found her guilty on child neglect for not even reporting her child missing for 30 days, but at least they found her guilty of something considering how little there really was to go on.  The fact that the jury acted properly, though, doesn't in any way negate the fact that I feel Caylee was robbed of justice.


Justice means many things, but one of the definitions is the quality of being just; righteousness, equitableness, or moral rightness.  Equitableness.  There should be equality in the outcome of this case.  Caylee lost her life, and somehow, Casey should be forced to do the same for it to be equitable, be that the death penalty or life in prison.  That would be justice.  
People are truly outraged that a mother would do this to her own child and get away with it.  So, I have to wonder, will someone, somewhere, try to bring justice for Caylee?  


I was just watching the news, and one of the many people outside the courtroom, holding signs and showing their anger at the verdicts, said that any one of the people there that day would be glad to kill Casey.  I'm sure he meant it.  I'm sure there are a lot of people right now that should the position open up, would gladly volunteer to be the one throwing the switch if Caylee had gotten the death penalty.  In fact, I would say that when it comes down to anyone convicted of murdering a child, there would be no shortage of people who would gladly volunteer to fulfill the duties of an executioner on a murder's judgement day.  


Crimes against children are the worst.  They can't fight for themselves.  We are supposed to protect and nurture our children.  We are supposed to love and care for them.  When life gets hard, or we realize that parenting isn't what we thought it would be, murder or in any way harming the child is not an option.  There are other options.  


A mother I know is going through a lot right now because her husband couldn't take their babies constant screaming and while she was at work open day, he shook the baby.  That is not an option.  There are other ways.  
You put the child down.  You walk away.  You call someone, anyone.  No matter what it is, you find another way.  No child deserves to be harmed.  No child deserves to have their life taken away because you, the parent or caregiver, couldn't handle it.  I can guarantee you that in Caylee's case someone would have taken that baby and loved her, even if her mother didn't.  Instead, a life full of potential was taken.  That should never happen.  


I hope there is justice somehow, someway, not just for this child, but for every child out there who deserves it.  

Today Is Not The Day

I'm doing exactly what I told myself I wouldn't do by blogging this.  I told myself I would let it go, but of course, that isn't my strong suit.
Today, my newest love, The Littlest One, is one week old.  We have her first post hospital check up, and one for me too.  We get to see her be weighed, and checked out, and I love the reassurance that comes with it.  I want to enjoy every moment of her, as she is our last for sure, something I am quite at peace with and even happy about now.  I want this to be our time, our bonding time as a family.  I want nothing but happy and love right now.
So, why someone would take it upon themselves to try to interject negative, non involved drama into my life right now, I don't know.  I am going to ignore it for now.  Other than this blog, my plan is to let it roll for a few days.  The Littlest One is giving us plenty of poop of her own, and I really don't need any from anyone else.
So, please, if you have a beef with me, if you seem to think this is the time to bear your soul to me about some way you feel, don't.  While I want to be open and have people be able to come to me, please, take a moment to consider that exactly one week ago, I had two major surgeries, one of which was incredibly more traumatic to my body and that I am healing from that, and more importantly, that I am a new mom all over again.  Give me a moment.  I'll let you know when I am ready to deal with the poop that comes from outside my home again, and then I will do so gladly.

Until then, peace and love for all, especially my very new, adjusting family.

I Need A Better Comeback

I need a comeback.   I'm trying to come up with a good, pithy one.  I need something that succinctly and sharply says that you have ask a question you shouldn't have, and that you need to back off.  You see, it seems that people, meaning the public at large, think they need to question me about my child yet to be born.  They take in the fact that I have two girls with me, and then, always, instead of asking what I am having next, they just ask if the next one is a boy.  Apparently, if you have two girls, the next one MUST be a boy.  My child isn't a boy.  She is a girl, confirmed by ultrasound a couple of weeks ago.  In fact, the tech said if she were a boy, she would be shocked.  That is good enough for me.  We will have three girls.  I'm good with that.  I have come to terms with the fact that we are having all girls, and even relish it a little.  I love having girls.  I may never understand the joy of having a boy, but that's ok now.
So, why people at random seem to think it isn't, and more importantly, why they need to point out all we will be missing, is beyond me.  After I tell people that I am having another girl, they immediately get this look of sort of pity on their faces.  As if they were saying "Aw.  I'm sorry".  Then, the next question is always "did you want a boy".  This is the question that I need the pithy comeback for.  I want to stop them before they get to the followup questions like, "your husband really wanted one, didn't he", because that one pisses me off even more.  Why should my husband be disappointed with a child, no matter the gender?  Are the girls not good enough for him?  In all honesty, I get all sorts of different questions, all aimed at having me tell some random stranger just how sad I am that I didn't get a boy.  Between the facial expressions, and the questions, they make it seem as though there is something a miss with having no male child.  I get it, it would have been nice to have both, but it isn't some random stranger's place to point that out to me.  This was all mother nature, and I have no say so in the process.  So, why would you want to make someone feel bad about what they don't have and can't do anything about?  It's not as if I were to answer that I really wanted a boy, and confess that I was terribly upset about it, that my child's gender would suddenly change, nor would I want her to.  I love my girls.  I love the Littlest One, just as she is, already.
So, today, as I stood in line with The Girls, waiting for their turn in a bounce house, the lady behind me started the questions.  Yes, two girls with one on the way.  She, who had two boys, felt the need to share her pity with me.  After all, I must be pitied and maybe even shamed a little by my inability to provide a male child to my husband.
Let me assure you, neither shame nor pity should fall into the mix here.  Please, keep it to yourself.  I'm not upset.  I'm happy.  This child, whom I thought I could never carry because of all the complications I have is a blessing, just as she is.
This is exactly what I told the womyn with the boys in line behind me as well. That, and my last line to her "besides, girls are easier."  I don't know if I believe that entirely or not, but it was enough in the moment and until I can come up with a better line.

We Won't Do That Again

Today, I had to have blood taken yet again during this pregnancy.  I have a condition called hypothyroidism that requires life long monitoring and it is especially important during pregnancy.  It was time for another check.
Up to this point, I had managed to have My Husband around most of the time when I needed blood drawn so that The Girls could stay with him.  The one time he couldn't be there, The Little One went with me.  I was worried about taking her with me, but more so because I was afraid of my reaction in front of her, rather than her own reaction.  I almost always start to cry when I have blood taken, and have to deep breath to keep from freaking and/or passing out.  Having your child with you, though, makes you straighten up and act right, if at all possible.  When she went, I did my level best to stay very calm and focus on her.  For one moment, she looked like she might get upset, but I started to talk to her, and reassure her that I was ok, and she was fine.  In fact, having her there, and being focused on keeping her calm, probably helped me and made me calmer than I ever had been before.
Today, though, I waited too late to go during school, and I had to get this done.  That means both girls had to go with me.
Of the two girls, I would say that The Little One is the tougher of the two when it comes to all things "owie".  She gets a bump, and just rolls on.  When she has gotten shots, she gives the nurse a mean look, tells her it hurts, and then moves on as soon as a sucker is dangled before her.  The Big One is far more dramatic.  Everything is life ending, no matter what it is, when it comes to medical procedures.  Getting a splinter out of her finger probably sounds like I am actually removing the finger to anyone listening.  The idea of taking her with me wasn't my first choice, but by then, I really didn't have another.

On the way to pick The Big One up from school, I let The Little One know that we were going to go have let someone take some blood from mommy.  She was pretty ok with it, as long as they weren't taking pee too this time, which is apparently for more disturbing to her than having them take and test my blood.  Then, I told her that her big sister would probably get upset, and I really needed her to hold her sister's hand, and make sure she was ok.  I know that sounds odd, asking the nearly 4 year old to comfort the nearly 8 year old, but if you know them, you know I meant it.

We get The Big One and I tell her where we are going.  She immediately cringes as I start telling her.  Then, bless her heart, The Little One turns to The Big One and tells her that she knows she will be scared, but it will be ok, because they will hold hands, and the Little One promises to take care of her.  It was adorable.

Right before we left for the lab, My Husband managed to call home, and I joked with him that I would have The Big One turn and face the wall so that she wouldn't see anything.  I didn't need to be worried about that, at least.  When they called us back to the room, she actually turned toward the wall, without my ever saying anything to her, and said she didnt' want to see anything.  She tried to make The Little One face the wall as well, but that wasn't going to happen.  The Little One wasn't scared, didn't care, and didn't want to face the wall.
It takes the phlebotomist a minute or so to find a vein that will work, as I also happen to be a hard stick.  I'm trying to remain very calm, and not even breath like it is bothering me.  It takes a couple of minutes to get the blood, but she finally gets enough.  She puts the gauze on, and has me hold it.  Now, at this point, I am totally fine.  Once the needle is gone, I could care less what else happens.  The Big One is still standing there, back turned, but that is all I can really see as the phlebotomist was blocking my view.  As soon as she moves, though, I saw her crying.  She was upset.  Shaking a little, but trying her best to be ok.  I knew she wasn't.  I started talking to her.  I couldn't get up yet and that was all I could do.  "I'm ok."  "It's ok". Those were the only things i could say to her.  As soon is I could get up, I put my arms around her and hugged her.  She took a minute, and calmed down.  I had to make her know that I was ok, though.

Later on in the evening, she came to me, and tried to take my arm to look at the tape and gauze still on it.  She wanted to make sure I was ok.  I pulled my arm back, and just pulled her too me for a hug, instead.  I didn't even want her to see it, because I am pretty sure just the sight of the bandage would bother her.

I love that girl dearly, and I know she is really a sensitive, sweet child.  She will always be the one who needs extra love when we have to do anything medical.  I know she will probably get upset when she comes to see me in the hospital, and I am slowly trying to prepare her now.  I am so thankful that she will have MimMim here then, who will be able to give her all the extra loving she needs to get through something that will be hard for her to see, too.  Hopefully, we can keep her focused on the good things, like her new little sister, and keep her from thinking about the bad stuff.   I will try to keep all that away from her as much as possible, and that includes any more blood draws from here on out.

The Offensive Penis

I'm not totally sure, but I think I offended someone today by saying the word penis.
That's it.  I just said it.  I didn't have a picture of one to wave around, or talk about my personal feeling in relation to a penis.  No.  It was actually quite simple.  I mentioned the picture of Katie Holmes giving Suri a penis gummy.

(image from TMZ)

It didn't seem like a big deal to me, the word penis, not giving your child penis gummy things, which I do kind of find a bit alarming.  

I was at a potluck party today with my moms group.  One of the women mention Suri and Katie.  After she was done, I brought up the photo.  I Actually said the words "gummy penis".  The woman standing beside me left not a minute into the conversation that ensued.  She immediately went to sit by someone else, and it seemed pretty obvious to me.  Every other woman right around me and I were really into the discussion.  We all found it rather dense to do something like that if you don't want the public to see when you know every minute of your life in photographed.  Then again, we all felt it rather dense to give that box to your child to begin with. 

Now, I don't think what she found offensive was that we were being judgemental of a celebrity.  People do that all the time.  That's part of why we love celebrities.  We love having the ability to tear them up, too.  We certainly weren't bagging on the child, just the mom.  

So, it had to be the word penis being thrown around.  It had to make her uncomfortable.  I'm not sure why, but it did.  Perhaps she is just very modest.

The conversation evolved into what we can't do any more, stores we can't visit because our children are with us, and eventually into dealing with little boys and their own penis issues.   To me, this is what a great moms  group is for.  You need to have other adults that you can have adult talk with.  I certainly can't show that photo to my children, and definitely can't discuss why it isn't right with them.  I need other moms who are grown folk, and like to talk about grown folk things.  We all do. 

I have to tell you, I don't think my actions should have been offensive.  I don't feel like they were inappropriate on their face.  There were no children around to repeat what we were saying.  We were discussing a parenting choice.  I really don't think the word penis should be offensive by itself, either.  I mean, we all have kids, and the vast majority of us have gotten pretty up close and personal with one to get them.  So, let's all be grown ups.  If we are talking about anatomy, then you don't get to be upset.  Its just a body part.  Deal with it.  Penis.  Penis. Penis. Penis.  And just to make sure I'm not sexist in my grown up body part talk....vagina.  

I have a Plan to Fix The Deficit

I have what I believe to be a full proof plan to fix all the money woes we have in the great city of San Diego.
This is a very valid plan.  Ok.  Part of it is.

If the city would just deputize me to be both a fashion police officer and a parking enforcement officer, I could wipe out the debt in no time.

I wouldn't be any kind of fashion style police officer.  No.  I want to be a fashion etiquette officer.  If I find you wearing inappropriate clothing, you get a ticket.  While I get the whole freedom of speech thing, I would specifically target those who come to schools or other places that are primarily for children dressed inappropriately.  Yesterday alone, I could have racked up a bundle.  The process would be simple.  You see someone wearing a torn jean mini skirt where the pockets hanging out of the bottom are inches longer than the whats left of the hem line, they get a ticket.  When there is also a rip that goes up to where their hip in the front, only covered by the hanging out pocket, the fine increases.  When wearing that with a mini, stretchy tube top, the fine doubles.  Then, on top of all of that, when you stand there and complain about being cold, I add a nuisance fine.  That one person could have netted at least at good $500 to $1000 to go to the cty.  In fact, I think that when you wear that and are fined on school grounds, the money should go straight to the school system.  With some of the moms I see at schools, we could have every classroom in the city outfitted with the latest technology possible by next year, no problem.  Simply deputize one person per school, per school year, to do this as a volunteer position.  I'm absolutely positive the money brought in would out weigh the costs of training and the little ticket pads they would need to give us.

While that is wishful, and catty, thinking, the next part is actually very realistic, and I am thinking of how to propose this to the city.  Much like the Retired Senior Volunteer Patrol (RSVP) that drives around and checks on handicap spots, if they would seriously give the power to one person at a school to write tickets for parking violations, we could make mad bank.  Every day, it drives me nuts to see the people who really have no respect for others, and violate every parking rule possible when they pick up their children.  Apparently, each on of them seems to be more important than anyone else there.  You don't park in a red zone.  You don't park where you are blocking a drive way. You really, really don't park over a mini red zone, while blocking a drive way.  I'm barely able to walk some days, but if I don't get there early enough to get close to the school, I park on the next block and walk.  I doubt anyone has a valid reason for the bad parking.  Its just called lazy.  So, if people want to be that lazy, then they can pay for their crime, literally.  I would be glad to do it all for free.  Again, I am positive that the money brought in from all the parking tickets would far outweigh the costs of training and the little ticket pads.  Frankly, it would also be beneficial to the rest of us who do follow parking regulations.  Once you eliminate the people double parked, honking their horns at a child who doesn't even notice they are sitting there and blocking traffic, you are going to speed up traffic flow for everyone else.  I think it is a total win/win situation.  Unless, of course, you are the scofflaw who parks poorly, but then, you would deserve it.

If only someone high up would consider my proposals.  The second one at least.  I think we could make a dent in the city's financial woes one single volunteer with a pad of paper and pen at a time.

An Epic Food Failure

Not to toot my own horn, but I think I am a pretty decent cook.  I am not a chef or real foodie, but I can make a decent meal.  Even when I don't cook from scratch, I tend to be able to throw together something that comes out pretty well.

Tonight, apparently, I failed.  I failed miserably.  Let me state before we go any further, though, that it was not so much what I did, but what I picked.

Since it is Girl Scout night, I need to be able to get my meal ready pretty quickly as Scouts doesn't even end until 5:30, assuming we actually get out of there on time.  So, normally Monday is one of my crock pot days.  For some reason, my brain missed that memo today, and I just forgot all about it.  (I would venture the guess is pregnancy brain already, but who knows.)  The Husband is trying to eat healthy right now, and has requested lots of chicken breasts this week.  So, I thought, chicken breasts, baked potatoes, green beans, and some cottage cheese thrown in for The Big One and I who don't eat meat.  Unfortunately, I needed to hit the store to do this as I am out of potatoes.  I kept trying to get there today, and it never happened.  Just one of those days.  Not a problem if you can grab the potatoes and have them done in about 15 minutes in the microwave.  It is a problem if your microwave suddenly up and dies on you.  That is worthy of a whole post by itself (and probably will get one), but it also means that I have to make the potatoes in the over at about an hour of time instead of 15 minutes.

So, at the last second, I had to choose something else.  I opted for quinoa.  Apparently, my choice was incorrect.  I like quinoa, and it is very healthy.  It is also a complete protein, something very important that I try to get in The Big One now that she is not eating meat.  I knew they would all balk at the idea of something new, so I told them it was special rice.  They didn't buy that either.

The comments I heard tonight were pretty bad.  It seems my family thinks I was trying to poison them.  Not with a nice poison that you can't detect, either, but something horrific that makes you want to lick tree bark.  The Little One started crying the instant I made her put a tiny bite in her mouth.  The Big One acted as though she was going to vomit each time she started to chew the few bites I required she eat in order to continue to be a vegetarian.  The Husband told me he had mistaken it for cardboard, but then told me it might be ok, if I picked a flavor other than "recycled" next time.  It was French Herb.

I liked it.  So, I have it.  I have a medium sized container of it to eat  tomorrow.  I'm thinking a nice cold quinoa salad with some cut tomatoes, cucumber, and a little feta will be great for lunch.  I guess this time I will actually be allowed to eat all of my own food without anyone asking me to share, or just picking up my fork and getting a bite at their own will, too.  I suppose my loss is also my gain.  Ehh...I can only lead the horse to healthy food, I can't make it eat.  I can, though, remember that the horse refuses particular healthy grains, and promise never, ever, to fix them again.

I Think Some People Need to Move Off The Street

Two posts about one subject. Something must have really pissed me off.
Oh, wait, it did.

I just posted about Katy Perry and her wardrobe choice on Sesame Street. This morning, I got to see the video of the producers on CBS Early talking about the whole affair. (Sorry I can't embed it. You just have to click through. Trust me you want to.)

While I was miffed, more because I like the video and some poor choices made it not appropriate, now I am actually pissed.

I can't believe the producer actually had to gall to make some of the statements she did. What I took away from that video was this:

1. The Producers of the show do not see any merit in the notion that Katy Perry's outfit was really inappropriate.

2. They were only reacting to a strong parental disapproval then they pulled it, not because they actually agreed.

3. The producers need to reevaluate what they view as appropriate, because until they can actually see where the fault in something like this lies, it may happen again, and parents will have to continually watch what they are putting out for problems, not because we want to sit down and watch it with our children. This is actually going to cause parents to stop watching it or letting their children do so, the exact opposite of what they were trying to accomplish. If these producers are incapable of seeing this, perhaps they need to be replaced.

4. If their goal was to make more stay at home dads sit down and watch with kids, they surely will have succeeded. Come for the boobies, stay for the skits (thanks SNL for that one). In the mean time, congratulations on pissing the rest of us off.

5. It has to suck to be the person playing Elmo sometimes. I can't imagine always responding like an innocent 3 year old, when you really want to say things like "Elmo nearly got a black eye during that play date, but I want to do it again." Or better yet "Would Mr. Harry please just shut the f**** up and move on?"

In summation, I think the producers need to take a nice long look at what values are appropriate for their show, and hopefully come to some better conclusions so that we can all go back to loving the show and everything it puts out.

We may all go back to regularly scheduled, non Katy Perry boob filled programing now, thankfully.

And The Sign Said "People with children need not come...to school"

Tonight was Back To School Night, aka Open House, at The Big One's school.

We didn't go because at the last minute, we were un invited.

Rude, huh.

I love Back To School night. I love talking to the teacher, checking out the classroom, all of it. I love being a part of her day to day experience, in any way I can. I try to be involved at school as much as I possibly can.

Then, today, I was told I wasn't wanted.

Well, only because I have children. The event was deemed adults only. Unfortunately, I have no one else to care for my children tonight, especially not when they notify you last minute. The first I heard that this was adults only was yesterday, when The Big One came home. She said something about it, but it sounded more like a request, understandable, and believe me, if it were easy and free for me to get a sitter at the drop of a hat, or if MimMim (grandma) lived here, I wouldn't take them anywhere I didn't need to, especially not when I wanted to talk to my child's teacher about that child. Shew. That would be great. Unfortunately, that isn't our reality. Our reality is that we are often a one parent household by way of the U.S. Navy, and definitely don't have the budget for an on call nanny. So, where I go, they go. I guess the school decided that wasn't ok with them.

I have a few issues with all of this. Just a few.

1) We are in a predominantly military area. This means many of the families that attend this school, like us, have no family, and no one to call on in a pinch that would be free. So, we are excluded from all adults only activities.

2) The notice was totally unacceptable. We got a phone call, followed immediately by a email carbon copy of the phone message, only this morning, after school had started. While it may have been difficult, had someone made this very clear the first day of school, which I grant you was just about a week ago, I could have called around to friends and begged for a little help. Someone, with some notice, would have been able to help me, but telling after the school day has started to suddenly change my plans is so unrealistic, I can't believe anyone who has ever been a parent would have done this.

3) The worst part of all it, and there are other arguments that could be made as to why having open house be adults only is wrong, is that we are a Title 1 school. Being a Title 1 school means that you have been recognized as having a large portion of your student population who belong to economically disadvantaged families. The schools are setup with extra funding and specific guidelines to assist these families in breaking down the barriers to those children's success. One of the greatest barriers to a child's success in school is a lack of parental involvement, and Title 1 schools are specifically supposed to combat that. In fact, they are required to have in place a plan on how they intend to improve communication between the school and parents. It would seem to me, that what this school did goes against everything that being a Title 1 school is supposed to be about. They, in fact, put up a specific barrier between the school and parents tonight.

The school could have done something that many other schools do; offer on site child care for those that had to bring their children. However, when I called to inquire as to why I was dis invited today, the front office staff told me that they had no place for childcare. I suppose that very large multipurpose room where were initially supposed to gather, then separate to our individual classes, wouldn't contain all the children that would be left behind? Wait. That doesn't make any sense. So, someone, somewhere, just dropped the ball, and upset parents. At the very least, I am upset.

I know for sure that there are parents who will be bringing children with them. I know there will be rule breakers. I am just not one of those parents. I might have feigned ignorance of this ridiculous demand, especially since it was sent so late I could have actually missed it, but I got called out earlier. My husband, trying to help out, and find out as much as he could, went to the teacher to ask what I should do, as the teacher and I had planned to discuss my assisting him with something right away tonight. The teacher ask that I meet with him tomorrow. So, I just couldn't go against his wishes.

While I am very upset, heartbroken truthfully, I will handle it the any adult will. I will make a huge fuss, stomp my foot a lot, and then be sure things are changed for the better. Hurting my daughter, though, is crossing the line. She was very excited for me to see her classroom, and so on. She said she cleaned her desk really hard today. She was totally heartbroken to see me so upset.

I will talk to the principal, and make sure they try to fix all of this before the next open house, because we just can't have The Big One hurt again, and she shouldn't be by a silly policy like this.

Oh You and Your Part Time Vegetarianism

As I have clearly stated before, I am a vegetarian. If you want me to be specific, I am an ovo-lacto vegetarian, though I really need to cut out the ovo, and maybe the lacto.

Anyway, what that means is that I eat no meat at all, but I do eat eggs and dairy. I am also a very strict ovo-lacto-vegetarian. I check everything I can for any animal product, and forgo anything, much as I may love it, once I find out what it has. This means I can't eat at so many Mexican restaurants because of the lard in their food. This means that I can't have jello shooters anymore (not that I have actually ever had one) because gelatin is made from animal hooves. The gelatin thing also leaves out a lot of desserts, yogurt, and even marsh mellows, but so be it.

I try my best to buy shoes that are all man made, which let me assure you, sucks when it come to finding great footwear.

I do all this, and more, as a choice. This is my lifestyle. This is the way I want to be.

Let me also state that I do not think it is wrong to eat meat, but I think it is wrong for ME to eat meat. I do not expect anyone else to make my choice. If you eat meat, great. If you don't, great, let's exchange some recipes. I really think that whatever you choose to do, be happy with it, and it is all good.

However, there is one thing I don't understand, the idea of part time vegetarianism. This is the big movement now where people only eat meat sometimes. They may do it for different reasons, but not every meal has meat. In the south, we just called that poor. You see, not everyone, even those with farms and animals of their own to butcher, has enough to have meat at every meal. So, the reality is you don't have it. I doubt any of them are calling themselves Part Time Vegetarians (PTVs).

My own father has eaten meals without meat. He may not like it, but that's how it is sometimes. I dare you to call him a part time vegetarian to his face. Double Dog Dare, even.

My own children could be called PTVs, I suppose. The Big One only eats chicken now, and it must not resemble an actual piece of chicken in any way for her to eat it. No. It needs to be ground, breaded, and shaped, preferably like a crown or star, for her to be into it. I by no means consider her a PTV, nor do I care for anyone else to call her that.

She eats meat. She may not eat much of it,but she likes it when she eats it. She doesn't have a guilty conscience if she eats it. I think all of the disqualifies her from being any kind of vegetarian at all.

I read someone liken being a PTV to being a Part Time Christian somewhere, and I nearly wasted perfectly good Coke Zero. The idea of a part time Christian, only when it suits you, is funny. No one would go around and proclaim part time Christianity. To me, both are based on deep personal beliefs. Granted one is a religion, but both of them represent specific ways of life that you choose to live.


So, why is it ok to only hold true to certain beliefs sometimes, when you think you can count yourself in, but not when it matters. To me, you can't count yourself into the crowd until you are really willing to follow through. We aren't even talking about making mistakes here, but intentional choices. You either choose to eat meat, or you don't.

To call yourself a vegetarian, in any way, when you actively partake of meat on at least a part time basis, is a bit demeaning to the term. I actually am a bit offended. You are not a vegetarian. You just eat less meat. If I walk into the woods dressed in camouflage, am I suddenly a hunter? In my case, I would probably be there to scare the animals away, but still, I participated in half of the appropriate related activity. So, under this same misguided premise, wouldn't I then be hunting? Maybe I would actually have to carry a gun. I certainly wouldn't have to kill anything because many hunters come back with nothing to show for their efforts, even though they wanted to. So, you can't make that a requirement.

I hope I am not alone in seeing the absurdity of someone who is a meat eater calling themselves a vegetarian. Don't get me wrong, I think it is great if you want to eat less meat. Good on you. However, if you really feel the need to label yourself something special as a reward for your effort, try a different word or phrase. I hear people use flexitarian, and that is at least not offensive as calling yourself a vegetarian. Instead, how about you forget about trying get other people to pat you on the back for your sacrifice, and just enjoy a wonderful, flavorful, healthy meatless meal.

My Mom Has The Right To Remain Silent, But Not The Ability

Let me preface this post by assuring you all the my mother did not get arrested and was not mirandized. However, as things go with my family, I wouldn't be surprised if she had been.

I am out of town right now. I left my car with my parents. My mom called once and ask if she could take my car somewhere. Apparently, that was a cart blanch approval for her to use it at will. Truth is I don't care that much, as long as she doesn't return it any worse than she found it. That includes getting me in trouble with the police.

Tonight, she was driving my car. I ask why, and she said something about taking ice to her shop, which must mean that my car hauls ice better than her car does. I think my car is just cleaner and has less crap in it. Anyway, she then told me it was a good thing that she was driving my car, because she was glad that she got the ticket instead of me.

Ticket? Oh yes.

As soon as she pulled out of her shop parking lot, she was pulled over. She got a ticket for having a tail light out and a brake light out.

You see, when I got there, I had an issue with my brake lights. The first thing I did was get my brother, who is an actual auto mechanic, and even manages an auto mechanic shop, to look at it. He checked my lights, and was supposed to buy my new lights. His shop, though, didn't carry the right very expensive lights to replace anything VW, and he was going to have to order them. I gave him the money and ask him to do so. That never happened. He actually took out one of my bulbs, and kept it to make sure he had the right thing. He still has it. However, I did try to fix my brake lights when we realized that all 3 of my lights couldn't have gone out at once. I ended up taking my car in to the dealer to have it fixed. It was fixed, mostly.

Which is why my mom was very surprised about the brake light, and mentioned that to the police officer. He told her the brake light was out, and she replied "Well, that is odd". He didn't respond to her fishing expedition as she hoped. So, she told him again "That is really odd that the light is out. I find that hard to believe." He just looked at her, not sure why she would find it so hard to believe. So, she just launched into a story.

"See, we just drove this car across country, and we didn't know that the entire trip the break lights were out. The whole way...."

I'm going to stop retelling her part of the story there.
It is true, we did drive across country not realizing that my break lights were out. At the very start of our drive across country to move from San Diego back to Tennessee, I had a little problem with my car. All the indicator lights came on. I lost power. This was all at the very start of our journey, as I began to pull out of my parking space. I simply cut the car off and back on, as a part of the computer generation that thinks everything can be solved with a reboot, and things seemed to be fine. The car did work, and so we came on, driving through storms and bad weather, with very low visibility some days. It wasn't until we got to Atlanta that we found out my brake lights were out. When we got back home, my brother looked at it, couldn't find the problem, but did note that two of my bulbs had blown, not both brake lights. I found out there was a recall on the brake light switched. That was what caused the odd power loss and indicator light thing at the beginning of the trip. The switch failed. It was replaced, and my brake lights worked again. Until apparently just recently, when a different bulb blew.

So my mom recalls part of this story for the police officer. Now, I may talk too much sometimes, but I do have the ability to realize when I am telling on myself, and not do it. My mom does not.

I can not believe that she told the officer that we did something so dangerous.

I ask if he responded to her story. He did not. He was probably thinking something along the same lines I did.

He let her go with the ticket, and thankfully didn't imprison her for something else she ended up tackling her self into committing, nor did he impound my car to keep it out of the hands of people who would admit their crimes as such.

My mom immediately called my little brother. She did not call to tell him that she needed the car light fixed, really, though that did come up. She called to tell him that he caused her to get a ticket.

I will say it is partially his fault, but let's be honest. If mom had just taken her own car, this would not have happened.
Maybe it was better that she got the ticket rather than me. I think I would have probably lost it, but I would have done so internally, at least until the officer left.

If I Make You Cry, You Probably Deserve It

Tonight, I made someone cry. I made another mother cry. This was no stranger, either. It was someone I know very well and am around often enough. Quite frankly, she did deserve it. She deserved more than just a tongue lashing, but for some reason, I spared her.

Most of the time, I believe that however people choose to parent, it is not my place to judge. You do what works for you, and I do what works for me. I may not like what you do as a parent, but it isn't my place to tell you what to do.

There are two exceptions to that belief of mine. The first is if you ask. The second is when I feel a child is truly in danger.

Tonight, I encountered the latter of those two exceptions. With the recent news about Chelsea King, I think my danger meter is off the charts full time right now. Then, I saw a clear cut case of neglect and child endangerment, and my meter exploded.

This mother is truthfully lucky it was only my own face and finger in her face. The full force of that danger meter explosion came right at her, but she needed it. She needed someone to snap her back to our reality and make her understand that what she did was absolutely terrible. She needed to cry. The reality that we live in isn't pretty all the time, and we have to do everything in our power to try and keep our children from seeing that ugly side. She put her child in danger by choice, by being lazy, and that is simply not acceptable.

I hope tonight I was that shock for her. With all of my heart I hope that she never makes that mistake again. It is my hope that child can grow up to live a happy and healthy life, and if it takes an occasional verbal beating on her mother to get her there, so be it. I'll be around to provide that service when necessary.