I Could Have Sworn I Was Born Here......

I'm going to give you all a little piece of unsolicited advice.  You may do with it what you will, but if you choose to print this out and cram it somewhere, I don't need to know about it.

The advice I am going to give you is absolutly unoversal, and should you chose not to heed it, could make your life much more difficult.

Never.  Ever.  Assume you know where someone is from, where they were raised, how they were raised, or their background.  Always let them, or facts, tell you.  

Assumning you know someone will undoubtedloy get you into troiuble.  Or  fight at a PTA meeting.

Tonight, as I was being jumped on, I was told repeatedly that I didn't understand something because I wasn't from the Bible Belt.  

Ummm........

Wrong.

I was born and raised in North East TN, which is much more of a Bible Belt than this is.  I was raised in a town that had a massive protest when Applebee's tried to open up because the sign was going to say "Bar and Grill" and bars are to be hidden, never put out on display.  This was when I was in High School, too.  Not back in the 50's.

I was raised in a Pentecostal church.  Look it up.  

I get the religious side of things.  

My sister happens to be an associate pastor at her church.  Not that her job means anything as far as my credintials, but I'm pretty sure that if I do something totally antireligious, she is going to call me out on it.  

Howwver, tonight, I kept being told I just didn't understand.  I just don't get it.  I am not from "here".  

I am right now, personally offended.  Perhaps I should take it as a total compliment that people don't view me as being from "here".  After all, if this is the land of religious zealots who don't want to understnad technology for fear that Satan is always behind a cmputer, then I'm good with not being from "here".  

What, you may ask, was all the hub bub about?

Bar codes.  

You know how everyone has a bar code for everything now.  There are bar codes on your grocery store cards.  There are bar codes on every product you buy.  Really, look around, and they are every where.  People even have apps on their smart phones to be able to scan them.
However, when it comes to membership in a organization I am part of, they just won't fly. 

Apparently, people here would totally reject it, and at some point in time in the very contentious discussion, someone likened them to the mark of the beast.  

I kid you not.  

I couldn't make that up.  

All of this was thrown at me, me the person who didn't even suggest car codes but had looked into the feasibility for someone else, because I couldn't understand people.  I am an outsider.  So, I took the brunt of everything.

I may not sound like people do here, or act or think like them.  I may be open to change and multiculturalism, but that doesn't mean I don't know anything about here, too.  I've lived more, experience more, and been through more than many people.
Do not assume you know me.

I get that a lot of crazy things happen in California.  People out there want to ban Oreos, and that stands as evidence enough of some of the goofy things that happen, but goofy things happen everywhere.  Like people flipping out about bar codes.  It just so happens, though, that people in CA wouldn't be afraid of bar codes.  They are much more open to people of different cultures and experiences, because everyone in CA is from a different culture or experience.
So, if you want to call me that mom from CA, go ahead.  I may have been born and raised in East TN, but if being open minded and forward thinking equals being from CA, I'll take it in a heart beat.
In the mean time, if you want to know what I think, how I feel, or about my experience in life, ask.  I'll be glad to tell you.  All the while trying to plan my escape back to California, land of people who embrace bar codes.  

I Don't Need Your Reality Check, Thanks.

Sometimes, we all have to choose our battles and struggles in life.  Some battles, we choose not to fight, knowing the outcome isn't worth the struggle.  Some battles, we do choose to fight because we feel we have to.  Some we choose to fight because we feel we need to, and have to and need to are different.
The thing is, no matter why you choose to fight your battle, or what your battle is, the idea behind the choice is that you hope for a good outcome, maybe an outcome that will in some way, be it big or small, improve your life.

Right now, I am choosing to fight a battle that would have a huge impact on our lives.  Massive.
If I can just fight hard enough, or even figure out how to fight this one, and win, our lives could get put back on the right track.  This is something we as a family desperately need.
So, why in the world would someone choose to constantly remind me about how hard this is going to be, if not impossible?

Let me assure you, I already have enough pressure and feel enough stress over everything going on that I don't need one iota of extra crap from anyone else.  Seriously.
I don't understand why, women in particular, feel the need to drop someone else down a peg when they are already struggling.

Honestly, we do it all the time.  We make noises, click our tongues, or just tell people how hard things they want to accomplish will be and let them know we don't hold out hope for them.  The phrase "good luck with that" isn't usually said to actually wish someone luck, but used with a sarcastic tone to imply that we think something will never come to fruition.

Then, we wonder where kids get their bullying skills from.
Why can' we just build people up anymore?  What happened to genuinely wishing someone luck, and hoping with them that against all odds whatever they want and need, as long as it is good for them, will actually happen?  Moreover, what happened to helping out our fellow man?
I really don't like posts that are full of questions with no answers.  However, this time, I just don't understand and I have only questions with no answers.

So, I think we should all take a moment to think before we speak sometimes.  We should all try to build people up a little more.  Let's all try our best to encourage each other, and be kind.  Who knows what you may be discouraging and keeping from happening with your clicks and false wishes. If only we would all try to be a little kinder to our fellow man, what a different world this would be.

No Social Media For You

This is going to be another one of those posts that may very well cheese someone off.  In fact, I am sure that what I am about to say may be taken personally be a few people that I happen to care about.  However, sometimes in life, and especially when you have a head full of opinions that must be shared as I do, if you aren't pissing people off occasionally, you aren't doing it right.

The topic of social media has come up quite a bit in our household lately.  The Big Girls and I have taken to playing a game together through my Facebook account.  They love it.  I love playing it with them, and even with out them occasionally.  While all that fun together may be great, what it does that isn't so great is get The Biggest One to be very aware of Facebook.  Some of her friends have their own Facebook already.  I personally find that absurd.  I have told her many times, and I absolutely mean it, she is by no means ready for social media, and she will not be for quite sometimes.
(get ready for the opinion to be heard round the world)
I do not think that young children should have Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, etc accounts.  I think a good old email address is quite enough, and even that is a bit too much sometimes.  In addition, they should not be allowed to text, or even have a phone that is used for anything other than getting in touch with mom or dad and emergencies.
We give our kids to much access to each other.  What ever happened to good old fashioned hanging out?  What happened to real personal communication.  What about calling each other on your home phone, and talking for a while, or asking to go to some one's house, etc.  Thinking that social media and kids don't mix doesn't make me old fashioned.  I love social media.  I have a Facebook account.  I, obviously, blog.  I have a twitter account for this blog, not that I use it that well, or much, but I will admit that social media has enriched my life.  That doesn't mean i think it is appropriate for my child.  It is a little like reading a really good adult themed book.  I am reading, which is good for the mind, but just because a book is a book, that doesn't make it appropriate for every child.  You have to measure what is right for your child at each age and maturity level.  I think parents have forgotten that.  I think that parents tend to forget just how dangerous the internet can be for some reason.  Access to social media in particular I think is probably one of the most dangerous things we can let our kids do online.  Now only do we put them out there for other people to find, but we put them out there for them to embarrass or hurt them selves without realizing what they are doing.  I know I have had a moment where I have said something on Facebook or Twitter that I realized later on could be misinterpreted.  A young person will not only make that same mistake, but their lack of maturity could take that situation so much father.  They don't often understand the boundaries of what is or isn't appropriate.  I see young people, whom I love, post things all the time that they may not realize they can never take back.  Ever.  Once you put it on the net, it is there.  Not only that, but cyber bullying is a serious issue.  Why give your child a greater venue in which to be a part of that, on either side.  It happens.  We like to turn a blind eye tot that, though, and either don't care or aren't aware as parents of what all is going on.  I sincerely believe that many of the bullying deaths we have heard about would have been prevented if all parents pulled their kids back from text or internet bullying.  Can you imagine the feeling of being in your home, where you are supposed to feel safe, and being inundated with bullying via your phone, Facebook, or twitter?  It would have to be devastating to not even feel safe from people who want to hurt you in your own home like that.
So, for that and so many reasons, my kids can forget having access to much of that until they are older.  I don't care who has it and that they will be be the only ones without whatever it is they will be begging for.  They will be better off.  In addition, when they do get access, I will take the same approach that a mom and son who have been on the news lately did with a set of contractual guidelines outlining the use of social media  , smart phones, etc.  I will have access to everything, and beyond that, I will be constantly checking up on things.  I will be reading texts.  I will be checking to see if you are deleting them before I read them.  I will be on your Facebook page every day.  Believe me, I'm going to be all over it.
When the time comes, and I do realize that eventually the time will come, it will be a given as a privilege, not a right, and a privilege that in this household can be taken away at any time.

Hey Congress, You Get to Tell Her

Today, I am writing what will probably be my most hate filled, and immature letter ever to my elected Congressional representatives.  I'm taking a cue from all those angry people who called in to the call center I used to work at, the first year that Toys R Us did online shopping (yes, I was there, and no, please don't speculate on my true age because of it).  So many orders did not go through for Christmas, and we had to deal with the parents.  I will never forget the calls we took where the parents would demand that we tell their children Santa won't be coming.  We weren't even the ones who caused the problems, we were just the messengers, aka customer service.  Congress, and be sure that I mean the entire of those elected, not just a particular party or particular house, are actually the ones who have continuously failed to do their own job, and because of that, as of midnight tonight, our pay, the pay for those who fight and risk their lives to keep our nation free, is vanishing.

We had decided to wait until my husband would be home from yet another training mission that forced him to miss The Little One's birthday, one of the many his job and commitment have forced him to be away during, to have her a belated birthday party.  We realize now that he may not be here next year, and wanted to give him that small opportunity to actually be a participant in his own child's birthday festivities for once.  I'm pretty sure that he has missed more birthday's for his own family than he has been here for because of his job.  So this, for us, was a big deal.  It certainly was for him, and for our daughter.  Now, though, because of your inability to work together on BOTH sides, your overall objective to only allow your own extreme fiscal idealism, and refusal to compromise, we have no choice but to cancel that party.  You see, My Husband and I discussed it, and because of the fact that we don't know how long this pay freeze will go on, and when he will start getting regular paycheck again, we felt it fiscally irresponsible to have a party that we would certainly overspend on, with no money coming in, or at least not knowing when it would start coming back.  Yes, we understand that eventually we would get paid again, but we just don't know when, and have no intention of floating our entire lives on credit until then.  Perhaps you, those who write the budget, should take some pointers from us.

I wish we were still being paid, and getting paychecks while this freeze goes on.  After all, my husband and those who stand beside him and work with him, have fulfilled and continue to full fill their obligations to their job.  They are all still training, deploying, fighting, serving, or what have you, and haven't failed to perform their basic job functions as you have.  Yet, you will continue to get paychecks while we, who make a pittance of what you do, don't.  I hope you are proud of yourselves for showing the world how much better and more important you are than those who serve in uniform.  I hope you feel good about yourselves when you lay down at night, and think of those who will be frantic to pay their bills, or even feed their families, something no member of the military should ever need to worry about.  I can't even imagine the anguish of someone stationed overseas, in a war zone, worried sick about whether or not his family was able to buy groceries, and being unable to even check on them.  I know I certainly could not sleep with that on my conscience.  At least, for us, at this point, it only means canceling a birthday party, but one that will cause great heart ache, as there will be no more time to reschedule after this, than you can imagine.
So, in line with many angry parents before me, you tell her.  I've already broken my husband's heart in our discussion, and I don't have it in me to break the heart of a now four year old little girl as well. So, email me, and I'll give you our phone number.  You tell her that she can't have the party her daddy promised her before he left.  You tell her she won't get to have a birthday party with him again probably until he retires, and that because you just couldn't do your job well enough, her parents had to cancel it.  Tell her it was your fault.  I'll gladly take a picture of her face the moment you tell her, her eyes filling with tears, so that image, along with many others, can fill your mind when you lay down at night.
Unless, of course, you would like to collectively do the right thing, and defer your own pay checks to those that serve so that our lives can continue on as normal, as they should.  I'm pretty sure, though, that I won't be getting that email offer.
When you get my letter, I really hope an aid passes it on to you, and you actually get to read it with your own eyes.  You should.  More over, I hope you read lots and lots of angry letters from parents, military personal, and citizens who are fed up with the way Congress is operations, and just won't take it any more.
This rant is certainly not over.

The Picture Game

I love my children.  I do.  I want to capture as many memories in pictures as possible to cherish forever.  I take pictures of them pretty much constantly.  I have literally thousands of images captured, some printed, some saved, some to scrap book, or pass out to family, or what not.  I have memory card and cd on top of memory card and cd of stored images of my beautiful girls.  I love taking their picture, and being the hams that they both are, they love it when I do.  We take random poses of the day just for fun.  We do grumpy shots, happy shots, look at my outfit shots, and anything else I can think of, just to capture them as they are in the moment, forever.

That ins't enough, though.  On top of all those I take myself, not being a professional photographer, I have special dates captured by professional photographers as well.  Several times a year, we pay big bucks for photos by someone else.  Someone with a better camera, at the very least.

When The Girls were each born, I took them in for photos.  The Big One got photos every three months, like clock work, until her first birthday.  The Little One got a modified version of that, but pretty close.  After that, we did pictures on their birthdays, Easter, and Christmas.  That would be two times a year together, and then once alone for their birthday.  That would be four sittings worth of pictures.  Since The Big One is in school now, we opt to skip her birthday pictures, and instead purchase the school photos that she gets twice a year, fall and spring.  So, now, we pay for pictures 5 times a year.  When The Littlest One comes, the first year will pretty much be spent in the portrait studio, and then afterward we will be there 6 times a year.
In all honestly, I combine anything I can at this point.  So, with both of the two younger ones having a birthday that will always be near Easter, that sitting gets combined so that we purchase less portraits, but still, were talking a whole lot of photos.
More importantly, were talking a whole lot of money.  The amount that we spend on pictures is probably obscene.  I would venture, that if we totaled together what we have spent on photos since The Big One was born, we could have bought a car with it.  I'm not saying that it would be a nice car, but we aren't talking total hoopty, either.  I know for certain that it is easy to spend as much as a car payment in each sitting, even with coupons, deals, etc.  They want you to.  They lure you in.  They have images of your children in front of you, and they keep telling you how cute they are, how beautiful that smile is, and so on.  As a parent, you feel like an ass if you don't just gush, and buy lots of pictures.  Also, I am a straight up sucker when it comes to my kids.  So, I end up buying a ton.
Not only do you spend a ton, but when you think about it, photography has to be one of the most lucrative businesses as far as profit margin goes.  While you do buy expensive equipment up front, it can't take many shoots to cover the costs of that equipment.  The printing isn't that bad.  We all know that because if you have your pictures printed at a photo printing place, even some place like Costco, they are still making a profit, and the per sheet price is pretty low.  That, and you can actually add up what it would cost to buy the sheets of photo paper and ink, and realize, those people are making bank.
It totally depends on what kind of photographer you get, but I can't imagine coming away with less than $100 a shoot.  Unless, of course, you are able to go into a Wal-Mart, take pictures, use on of their $7.99 deals that only gives you one pose, generally not the best shot they take, and walk away with just that.  I am not one of those people.  I am not strong willed enough to leave all those adorable shots of my children off in some computer, never to see the reflective glare from a photo album.  If you go to a professional to do a location shoot, you may as well think in the $200-300 minimum range.  Some of them charge location fees, and then their printing is pretty pricey.  I like to purchase the media and rights to the photos if I can, and then print my own.  That, though, is often in the $200 range for the CD.  Even school pictures are insanely expensive these days.  That CD is probably the cheapest that I have seen, though, at about $50.
We are talking a ton of cash.  Its one of those things that when you try to look at it like this, objectively with out your heart strings attached, you have to wonder why you spend so much.  It's just so hard to do, though.  People can charge that much, because we keep coming back and are end up agreeing to pay that much. I'm not by any means suggesting a boycott of photographers.  At all.  I appreciate what photographers can do.  It really is an art form, and something that I don't seem to have an aptitude for.  I have yet to be able to capture some of those gorgeous images that other people can of my children.  Maybe I don't have the eye for it.  Maybe I just need a really expensive camera, that would end up paying for itself if I quit paying photographers.  Either way, if you need me after the baby is born, just call the local J.C. Penny's studio and ask for me, I'm sure I will be there, buying yet another set of unbelievably cute prints of my children, and wincing when they tell me the total.

Get Your Hands Out Of Our Educational Cookie Jar

Today, I am pissed off.
I am pissed off at the government officials of this city, the state, and the whole nation.
I am sick and tired of education being on the front lines of spending cuts.
Elected officials, get your hands off the money that fund our school systems.
Its time you started looking else where.
Leave our teachers alone.
Leave our schools alone.
If you can't give them more, definitely don't take anything away.

Schools are a huge budget item.  Its easy to say we have to cut when the money going in is such a huge chunk, but that doesn't mean there is fat to trim.  Your cutting muscle away now, and I think it is high time you just left it be.

No one out there can tell me there aren't other places to cut.  There are.  It is a matter of choice.  You don't want people pissed off because you cut social services, but people on food stamps can now buy crap in gas stations.  Come to my house, look me in the eye, and tell me there isn't waist there that could be cut.
How about we stop funding people who live here illegally, and don't pay taxes.  I know, I must be a racist for attacking illegal immigrants.  Right?  Wrong.  Legal immigrants, like my own great grandfather, are more than welcome here.  Come over, get a job, pay taxes, and use everything this nation has to offer.  However, don't scam the system and keep us from being able to take care of the tax paying citizens and their children that live here.  And just to reiterate, no, this does not make me a racist, it makes me practical.  There are so many other places we could cut.  How about we quit paying your salaries when you don't do the job ask of you.  I am all for withholding salaries of elected officials if there is no budget approved by their deadline.  Let's see how much money that saves us, and how much faster they can suddenly work together then!

California is a state with an economy the size of some small nations.  There is no way we need more income.  What we need are competent people who understand that cuts have to come in places that people may not be happy about, but our state's piggy bank will be.  You have to get rid of the corruption that gives people money they never earned, and shouldn't have to begin with.
You have to take a realistic look at what is necessary, and what isn't.
Somehow, though, people in power forget this.  They are too concerned with keeping their own place of power, and far less concerned with making the choices that are best for the people.

Shame.  Shame on all of you who want to run to cut education and essential services first.
I think its up to us, the people, to keep tossing them out year after year, election after election, until someone who will actually do us right is in there.  I don't care what party you came from, if you can't do the right thing, you need to hit the pot hole filled road.  It could have been a much better landing for you if you hadn't wasted all the money we needed to fix those pot holes on frivolous crap, but so be it.  I hope your rear hits a chunk of loose asphalt on the way down. Harrumph.

Walmart - Why Have you Forsaken Me?

I used to love Wal-Mart.  Used to.
In the past few years, though, It has changed from the place where I would go to buy ok things on the cheap, to the place that thinks they are a lot better than what I want them to be.
The thing is, I shop at WM for the prices.  End of story.
If I want cute and trendy, and I am willing to pay a little more, I hit Target.
That's how it goes.
WM, though, seems to think it should be capturing that cute and trendy segment who are willing to pay more, too.  They shouldn't.  They should stick to what they are good at; shelves and shelves of cheap crap I can't live without.  I want to go and by toilet paper for next to nothing.  I might need a cheap ironing board at 2am.  That is when I know Wal-Mart should be there for me.  Even when it comes to grocery basics, I love the Great Value brand, or at least I used to.  Now, I love it when I can get it.
My local WM carries about 1/3 less products than they used to, a lot of it being Great value.  What they do still carry if often out of stock. In fact, nearly everything I want is out of stock about any time I go.  Its getting to the point that I just go to a higher priced place and save myself the gas, which isn't cheap these days either, instead of trying to pick the right WalMart that might have it in stock that day.
The stock issue is so bad, I am actually going to complain about it to Wal-Mart.  Two things in particular have just taken me over the edge.  The first is black beans.  I love black beans.  We eat them a lot, and I keep them on hand especially now that The Big One is a vegetarian.  I love to buy the canned Great Value brand.  They are cheap and the quality is good.  The problem is that they are almost always out or on very short supply.  I don't mean once or twice they have been out, but on a regular basis I can't get them.  To me, that would seem to mean order more and keep more on hand.  That must not be the WM way, though.  they just keep letting it run out over and over again.
Their craft stuff used to be great as well.  Now, though, they barely have much of a craft department left.  The majority of it is Scrap booking and Cake decorating, both of which I at least like so that I can get some things there.  That is, of course, if they have it in stock.  I went the other day for plain black 12*12 paper.  If you paper craft at all, you know what a very basic staple that is. That is like a baker needing sugar.  It may not go into every recipe, you could be making something savory after all, but you really need to keep it on hand at all times.  WM must not get that analogy, either.  Of the 10 different colors they seem to carry for basic 12*12 paper, they only had 3 in stock.  None of those 3 were black.  I think it was some cute pink patterned paper, and a couple of other things that no one will rush to the store in the middle of the night for.  To make it even worse, after looking for an associate to ask about the possibly of extra stock in the back for about 10 minutes, I notice a little paper shoved int he price tag of each empty paper hangar.  I pulled it out to look at it. It was their own little note about when the stock.  They knew it was out.  It said something like "Scanned 2/4.  Back 2/21."  My take on that is that they didn't note it was out and order it until the beginning of the month.  Then, they were going to have to wait 3 weeks to get it back.
That is no way to run a business.
Really.
This is the reason that so many other places get so much more of my money now.  I think Costco should send them a thank you card for all of the screw ups that have me buying my paper towels and tp in the warehouse these days.
I know Wal-Mart has been having some business problems, and if they want to know why, they should read the preceding.  Don't tell your consumers what you should be, let your consumers tell you what they want you to be.  It makes for a much more profitable company that way.If only they would focus more on keeping the old school isles and isles of cheap crap in stock, I think we would all be happier in the end.

I have a Plan to Fix The Deficit

I have what I believe to be a full proof plan to fix all the money woes we have in the great city of San Diego.
This is a very valid plan.  Ok.  Part of it is.

If the city would just deputize me to be both a fashion police officer and a parking enforcement officer, I could wipe out the debt in no time.

I wouldn't be any kind of fashion style police officer.  No.  I want to be a fashion etiquette officer.  If I find you wearing inappropriate clothing, you get a ticket.  While I get the whole freedom of speech thing, I would specifically target those who come to schools or other places that are primarily for children dressed inappropriately.  Yesterday alone, I could have racked up a bundle.  The process would be simple.  You see someone wearing a torn jean mini skirt where the pockets hanging out of the bottom are inches longer than the whats left of the hem line, they get a ticket.  When there is also a rip that goes up to where their hip in the front, only covered by the hanging out pocket, the fine increases.  When wearing that with a mini, stretchy tube top, the fine doubles.  Then, on top of all of that, when you stand there and complain about being cold, I add a nuisance fine.  That one person could have netted at least at good $500 to $1000 to go to the cty.  In fact, I think that when you wear that and are fined on school grounds, the money should go straight to the school system.  With some of the moms I see at schools, we could have every classroom in the city outfitted with the latest technology possible by next year, no problem.  Simply deputize one person per school, per school year, to do this as a volunteer position.  I'm absolutely positive the money brought in would out weigh the costs of training and the little ticket pads they would need to give us.

While that is wishful, and catty, thinking, the next part is actually very realistic, and I am thinking of how to propose this to the city.  Much like the Retired Senior Volunteer Patrol (RSVP) that drives around and checks on handicap spots, if they would seriously give the power to one person at a school to write tickets for parking violations, we could make mad bank.  Every day, it drives me nuts to see the people who really have no respect for others, and violate every parking rule possible when they pick up their children.  Apparently, each on of them seems to be more important than anyone else there.  You don't park in a red zone.  You don't park where you are blocking a drive way. You really, really don't park over a mini red zone, while blocking a drive way.  I'm barely able to walk some days, but if I don't get there early enough to get close to the school, I park on the next block and walk.  I doubt anyone has a valid reason for the bad parking.  Its just called lazy.  So, if people want to be that lazy, then they can pay for their crime, literally.  I would be glad to do it all for free.  Again, I am positive that the money brought in from all the parking tickets would far outweigh the costs of training and the little ticket pads.  Frankly, it would also be beneficial to the rest of us who do follow parking regulations.  Once you eliminate the people double parked, honking their horns at a child who doesn't even notice they are sitting there and blocking traffic, you are going to speed up traffic flow for everyone else.  I think it is a total win/win situation.  Unless, of course, you are the scofflaw who parks poorly, but then, you would deserve it.

If only someone high up would consider my proposals.  The second one at least.  I think we could make a dent in the city's financial woes one single volunteer with a pad of paper and pen at a time.

Its Parenting, Not A Pissing Contest

I am so over the people out there who feel some ridiculous need to show the superiority in the choices they make as parents over the choices other people make. If you feel the need to actually show people how much of a better parent you are, then I have two things to tell you. First, you probably aren't just because of what your actions alone teach your child. Second, Get-over-yourself. Your poop does in fact stink and you actually get dressed in the same one pant leg at a time that every other parent does. The only difference is that you seem to think you do it better where as most of us realize were all just doing the best we can.

You see, as parents, we are all struggling to get through this, and figure this whole thing out one day at a time in our own way. While we may look to each other for support or help, I don't think any of us look to each other to be knocked down a peg or two. Frankly, there are days when I don't think I could afford to be knocked down an inch, let alone a peg or two.

So, let me openly admit that I am not perfect. I do things that may make some of you cringe.
I let my children watch TV. While I generally limit the things they are allowed to watch, I do let them watch. In our house, the tv is often just background noise while we do other things, like arts and crafts, work on writing and the alphabet, or what have you. While I don't care if they watch, I do care about what they watch. It may surprise you to learn that as free wheeling as we are with the remote, I don't let them watch Sponge Bob as I see nothing redeeming in that show what so ever. If they are going to watch, I don't want it to be crap. There are definitely times when I turn it off, or when it is limited, but in general, I don't care if it is on, as long as it is an ok show. If your child never watches tv in their lives, great for you all! I'm glad you are devoted to being your child's sole form of entertainment 24/7 and hope that works out well for you all. I have found it not only to be a sanity saver for myself at times, but by choosing something with an educational benefit, I have seen my child be opened up to many things I would never have thought to teach them.

Yes. I feed my child fast food. They love it. They even appreciate and show their appreciation by using the good manors I have taught them by saying please and thank you for their fast food meals in boxes or bags. I hope your child says please and thank you for whatever it is you serve them. You see, I don't care if you choose to feed your child purely organic, vegan, fruititarian diet, or whatever other thing kind of thing you might think is best. That is all fabulous...for you. If you and your family are happy with your life, then good on you. You should feel the same way for me, and even if you don't, you should fake it. This is how it is supposed to work.

So, having confessed a couple, but surely not all, of the sins you see me commit as a parent, if you would like to leave any comments as to confirm my atrocities, I ask that you please write them all down on paper. Take that paper, and fold it neatly. Then, stick where the sun don't shine. At least then you would have a reason to be grumpy with me.

And the next time you see a parent make a decision that you would never make, be nice. If you absolutely have to comment, say something generic and pleasant like, "that will be nice for them" or simply, "ok, great" or whatever else that you can come up with. If all else fails, just smile and nod. Think about that little piece of paper I mentioned, and where it belongs. Then grin and bear the atrocity before you like the good supportive friend and fellow parent you should be.

Fundraising Hell

It is the beginning of the school year, just over a month in, and already we are in fundraising hell. I don't understand it. We just got hit with our 4th fundraiser of the year. Yes. Four already. The first was a "sell them junk" fundraiser for the PTA, which I hate. Normally we try to sell. This year, we really didn't. I would rather write the PTA a check for $50 and be done with it. When I have that $50 laying around, I will. Oh, wait, I already wrote them a check for $50 when I joined the PTA. (Ten dollars for dues to cover two adults then a donation) So, I suppose I am covered there.

Next, came our first of two Girl Scout fundraisers for the year. In the fall, we sell nuts. No seriously. I swear we sell nuts too. Then, in the spring come the famous cookies. That one isn't so hard because people want the cookies. People don't so much want the crap or the nuts. Nuts definitely did better than crap, though, as we actually sold some.

After that the school started selling "Spooky Grams". It is a very peer pressure driven way of raising money for the fall festival at the school. You can buy your child a little Halloween themed sucker or cookie with a note stating who it is from. Your child can also buy them for other friends. Do you see the peer pressure coming at us from both the children and the adult peers? You have to buy at least one. You don't want your child to be the only one who doesn't get one. So far, we have bought three, and I expect another two minimum before it is over. Hey, peer pressure works.

Today, we received a flyer about a night out to eat to raise money for the PTA again. It is a set price pizza buffet that isn't that cheap. Again, this one has the peer pressure. Who is going? Who isn't going? Will my friends be there? Will I be left out?
I'm not sure if the peer pressure will overrule the wallet this time, but it very well might.

I know this is all to raise money for good things, but you have to give parents a break. We can't do this all at once. We need some space in there, and I don't just mean the space left in our wallet and empty bank accounts. Not only do we need the space, but we can't keep hammering people we know to buy stuff they really don't want to buy, but feel like they have to. I mean, who really buys that wrapping paper because they can't find any better or cheaper anywhere? You buy it because at least you won't have to throw it away, and you it won't give you zits or make you gain five pounds. Maybe you just buy the stuff that will make you gain five pounds because at least you can eat it. Either way, it is all stuff you can really live without.

So, please, high up people who run organizations, the PTA and Scout people, give us a little time. Space a few things out for you. Even though someone will have to bite the bullet and not get money right away, you might end up making more in the long run just by sharing your space a bit more. I'm over this fundraising hell, and would like to find a way just to help out, with out the burning sensation in my wallet.

So Many Wives, So Little Time

I will be honest, much like ashamedly admitting I used to watch Flavor Of Love, I have to tell you that I have started watching Sister Wives. Somehow, I think the two are about in the same category.
I'm not sure why I watch. Perhaps I am trying to figure this whole thing out, but honestly, it just kind of makes for a good train wreck.

There are somethings that really bother me. It made my skin crawl when the father, Kody, sat right there as wife number something or other told him she felt like she was losing her best friend because he wanted to bring in another wife. He admitted that he was causing his existing wives pain, but went ahead with everything anyway.

Now I'm pretty sure that doing things you know would hurt the ones you supposedly love does not make for being a good husband. Not only that, but isn't three enough? Does he need a different bedroom for every night of the week? And gross, while we are on that subject. Who washes all those sheets. Ick. I'll stop there.

With all the publicity they have been getting, I have actually given this whole thing a lot of thought. I have been able to find a few positives in their relationship quagmire, though that surprised me.

It hit me, that if you have really low self esteem, this is the perfect relationship for you. He will never leave you. He may add another wife if he gets tired of you, but you will always be there, sharing a bed at least occasionally as his duty requires.

Built in babysitters. Now, that makes even me consider this. Part of this whole "Sister Wife" concept is that you are one big family, and you help take care of each other's children, who are all brothers and sisters anyway. So, if I need to go out, if I just need to get away, I could just go. That sounds too fabulous to be true. Of course, it really is, because it all comes back to the catch, sharing Daddy. And I'm just not down with that.

While there may be some positives, when I think about it, I always end up with way more cons than pros. This isn't for me. Ever. There are just too many things I don't think I could agree with.

What if I really, really wanted some "quality time" and it wasn't my night? Do I just have to wait? No thank you. I think that is something that comes with the ring. When you are single and alone, you have to plan for sex. Not when you are married. Well, maybe a little when you have small children and you have to work around them and getting them in bed, but otherwise, really, it should be pretty much available when both partners are interested in the least.

Nor do I think I could handle all those kids in one house. It would drive me beyond batty. My mom is one of twelve children. Let me hit you with that again just so you can believe it. My mom is 1 of 12 children, and no they aren't Mormon. I have seen her family. I know how crazy you end up when you have a house full of siblings. My mom was lucky enough to be one of the oldest and escape the asylum at a young age.

Not only that, but when it comes right down to it, I really believe in the old adage "What's good for the goose is good for the gander", a simple statement of equality. This show is the exact opposite of that. No matter what else I have a problem with, that is a deal breaker right there.

Maybe this lifestyle really works for them. Maybe some of the wives were raised that way, and just don't know another way of life. I suppose as long as no one is really being abused or hurt, then whatever they want is peachy keen with me. As long as I'm not the one missing out when I want my snuggle time, more power to them, and their really big, combined family.

I Think Some People Need to Move Off The Street

Two posts about one subject. Something must have really pissed me off.
Oh, wait, it did.

I just posted about Katy Perry and her wardrobe choice on Sesame Street. This morning, I got to see the video of the producers on CBS Early talking about the whole affair. (Sorry I can't embed it. You just have to click through. Trust me you want to.)

While I was miffed, more because I like the video and some poor choices made it not appropriate, now I am actually pissed.

I can't believe the producer actually had to gall to make some of the statements she did. What I took away from that video was this:

1. The Producers of the show do not see any merit in the notion that Katy Perry's outfit was really inappropriate.

2. They were only reacting to a strong parental disapproval then they pulled it, not because they actually agreed.

3. The producers need to reevaluate what they view as appropriate, because until they can actually see where the fault in something like this lies, it may happen again, and parents will have to continually watch what they are putting out for problems, not because we want to sit down and watch it with our children. This is actually going to cause parents to stop watching it or letting their children do so, the exact opposite of what they were trying to accomplish. If these producers are incapable of seeing this, perhaps they need to be replaced.

4. If their goal was to make more stay at home dads sit down and watch with kids, they surely will have succeeded. Come for the boobies, stay for the skits (thanks SNL for that one). In the mean time, congratulations on pissing the rest of us off.

5. It has to suck to be the person playing Elmo sometimes. I can't imagine always responding like an innocent 3 year old, when you really want to say things like "Elmo nearly got a black eye during that play date, but I want to do it again." Or better yet "Would Mr. Harry please just shut the f**** up and move on?"

In summation, I think the producers need to take a nice long look at what values are appropriate for their show, and hopefully come to some better conclusions so that we can all go back to loving the show and everything it puts out.

We may all go back to regularly scheduled, non Katy Perry boob filled programing now, thankfully.

Put Them Away, Katy. Just Put Them Away.

Katy Perry is embroiled in controversy. This time, it's all about her girls and Elmo.

Katy made a guest appearance on Sesame Street to sing with Elmo. The problem is, that her girls made as much of an appearance as she did. You can check out the video to see for yourself, but even with a still shot, I'm sure you will get the jiggly point.



I like it when stars make appearances on Sesame Street. Some of them are cute. I thought Norah Jones was super cute singing with Elmo. Wyclef Jean and Cookie Monster singing about healthy food was fantastic. The list of great guest appearances goes on and on.

The thing is, no matter how controversial or edgy a star may be, when you go on Sesame Street, you need to play to the appropriate audience.
Colin Farrell appeared with Elmo, and not once did I see him drop a F-bomb, drink something, or have sex with some random woman walking down Sesame Street. He was, though, still a bit scruffy and straight up sexy. So it is very possible for stars, even those with massive reputations, to be great for the show and still be cool. Katy, could have stayed true to her own fashion, and worn a different style outfit as she is known for, as long as she covered up the boobage area.

I don't have any idea how that outfit made it out of her dressing room. I really don't understand how it made it onto a final cut for the show. At some point, someone should have stopped her, and suggested that her boobs were a bit much for running around with Elmo, because they are. Someone should have gently suggested that she change to a "Dress up outfit" a little more appropriate. If nothing else, when she walked on camera, no one should have yelled action until she was totally ready to go. They should have been yelling for wardrobe instead.

Our children are already bombarded with overly sexual images on a daily basis. Sesame Street should be safe from this, and something that parents should be able to feel confident about letting our children watch without worry, especially worry of wardrobe malfunctions.

I am disappointed in the entire production staff of Sesame Street for letting this slip in. I think her performance was great. She had great facial expressions, and I bet she is great with kids. Then again, when you take note of who she is marrying, you would think she would have to be. Had it not been for the outfit, she really would have made it to my top favorite guest star list. Now, it can't even be aired.

So, Katy, please, visit Sesame Street again some time. Do another song. Just, please, wear something that leaves the girls out of the picture So we can focus on how cute you and Elmo are together.

Happy Pregnant People Are From Mars

The other day, I was talking to another mom about how many people we know that have been surrogates. I think being a surrogate is a wonderful, beautiful thing. Women who are willing to put themselves and their bodies through all that for someone else are doing such an incredible thing.

They are also off their freakin' rockers.

They must be.

Ok. That was (mostly) a joke, but I can tell you I won't be one of those glorious pregnant woman sitting on a lily pad somewhere worshiping their own round figure and loving every moment of being with child. No. No thank you. Not even for all the money in the world. Maybe, and I mean only maybe, if it was for my own sister and she needed it desperately, but even that would take some convincing.

I hated being pregnant. Hated it. Each time. It's like having the flu, with all the nausea, aches, and pains, and having your body invaded by an alien, at the same time. For those that have never been pregnant, if you saw Aliens, and how those things burst out of people's stomachs, it really isn't much different.

Being pregnant was actually one of the most horrible things I have gone through. It is painful, and I don't mean the delivery, which certainly is as well, but the pregnancy itself can be excruciating. With one of The Girls, my hips seemed to be spreading to wide, too quickly. So, picking up my legs more than an inch was so painful, it nearly made me cry. I couldn't even get into the bathtub each night without a break down. My back ached constantly. It hurt to stand for too long. It hurt to sit for too long. It just hurt. You get sudden, terrible pains in your va-jay-jay, and that isn't pretty. I haven't even started on the three months of constantly feeling like your going to vomit in the beginning.

No, it isn't fun. It isn't glorious. Not for me, anyway. It just stinks.

I'm not trying to say that I regret being pregnant, or having children. Not in the least. I love The Girls, and I am so thankful for them. That doesn't mean I had to love the process. No. It just means I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt, stretch marks, scars, and saggy boobs to prove it, and I don't need to do it again. Actually, I didn't even get a t-shirt, which was the best thing in that list. That, and I don't know what would happen to my boobs if I did it again. I can't imagine how much more damage could be done to them, and I don't want to think about it. That might give even me nightmares of walking around with flap jacks tied to my waist.

So, if you love being pregnant, consider yourself lucky.

I am not that lucky.

And, if you are a mom of a pre-teen or teenager, feel free to let them read this word for word, confirm for them everything I stated, then make it sound even worse with your own experiences. Hey, we moms need to stick together,and keep our own children from going through this for as long as possible.

Oh You and Your Part Time Vegetarianism

As I have clearly stated before, I am a vegetarian. If you want me to be specific, I am an ovo-lacto vegetarian, though I really need to cut out the ovo, and maybe the lacto.

Anyway, what that means is that I eat no meat at all, but I do eat eggs and dairy. I am also a very strict ovo-lacto-vegetarian. I check everything I can for any animal product, and forgo anything, much as I may love it, once I find out what it has. This means I can't eat at so many Mexican restaurants because of the lard in their food. This means that I can't have jello shooters anymore (not that I have actually ever had one) because gelatin is made from animal hooves. The gelatin thing also leaves out a lot of desserts, yogurt, and even marsh mellows, but so be it.

I try my best to buy shoes that are all man made, which let me assure you, sucks when it come to finding great footwear.

I do all this, and more, as a choice. This is my lifestyle. This is the way I want to be.

Let me also state that I do not think it is wrong to eat meat, but I think it is wrong for ME to eat meat. I do not expect anyone else to make my choice. If you eat meat, great. If you don't, great, let's exchange some recipes. I really think that whatever you choose to do, be happy with it, and it is all good.

However, there is one thing I don't understand, the idea of part time vegetarianism. This is the big movement now where people only eat meat sometimes. They may do it for different reasons, but not every meal has meat. In the south, we just called that poor. You see, not everyone, even those with farms and animals of their own to butcher, has enough to have meat at every meal. So, the reality is you don't have it. I doubt any of them are calling themselves Part Time Vegetarians (PTVs).

My own father has eaten meals without meat. He may not like it, but that's how it is sometimes. I dare you to call him a part time vegetarian to his face. Double Dog Dare, even.

My own children could be called PTVs, I suppose. The Big One only eats chicken now, and it must not resemble an actual piece of chicken in any way for her to eat it. No. It needs to be ground, breaded, and shaped, preferably like a crown or star, for her to be into it. I by no means consider her a PTV, nor do I care for anyone else to call her that.

She eats meat. She may not eat much of it,but she likes it when she eats it. She doesn't have a guilty conscience if she eats it. I think all of the disqualifies her from being any kind of vegetarian at all.

I read someone liken being a PTV to being a Part Time Christian somewhere, and I nearly wasted perfectly good Coke Zero. The idea of a part time Christian, only when it suits you, is funny. No one would go around and proclaim part time Christianity. To me, both are based on deep personal beliefs. Granted one is a religion, but both of them represent specific ways of life that you choose to live.


So, why is it ok to only hold true to certain beliefs sometimes, when you think you can count yourself in, but not when it matters. To me, you can't count yourself into the crowd until you are really willing to follow through. We aren't even talking about making mistakes here, but intentional choices. You either choose to eat meat, or you don't.

To call yourself a vegetarian, in any way, when you actively partake of meat on at least a part time basis, is a bit demeaning to the term. I actually am a bit offended. You are not a vegetarian. You just eat less meat. If I walk into the woods dressed in camouflage, am I suddenly a hunter? In my case, I would probably be there to scare the animals away, but still, I participated in half of the appropriate related activity. So, under this same misguided premise, wouldn't I then be hunting? Maybe I would actually have to carry a gun. I certainly wouldn't have to kill anything because many hunters come back with nothing to show for their efforts, even though they wanted to. So, you can't make that a requirement.

I hope I am not alone in seeing the absurdity of someone who is a meat eater calling themselves a vegetarian. Don't get me wrong, I think it is great if you want to eat less meat. Good on you. However, if you really feel the need to label yourself something special as a reward for your effort, try a different word or phrase. I hear people use flexitarian, and that is at least not offensive as calling yourself a vegetarian. Instead, how about you forget about trying get other people to pat you on the back for your sacrifice, and just enjoy a wonderful, flavorful, healthy meatless meal.

I'm a vegetarian not a side show freak.

To paraphrase one very muscely cartoon character who also derived a nutrition from vegetables, I am what I am. What I am is an ovo-lacto vegetarian. That may sound like a mouth full, but it simply means that I eat dairy and eggs but no meat of any kind. No big deal, but I'm laying it out there like it is today. See over the past decade or so I have taken a lot of crap about the fact that I am a vegetarian and I just don't get it..quite frankly, I am kind of shocked by some people's reactions to my vegetarianism. I am often shocked at their shock. I get that I live in the south, home of the road kill cafes, but seriously people, its 2010, its not big news or a big deal any more.

Its almost as though some people have as much of an aversion to my not eating meat as I do to the thought of eating meat. So, back to my main point, I'm going to lay it all out there today.

I don't eat animals. This does not make me weird or strange, no matter what you think. It makes me a person who loves animals and can't bear the thought of eating another living, breathing, thinking, creature, no matter how dumb it may be. It makes me sad in side and grossed out at the same thing. Animals are friends and companions, not a source of food, in my mind. When I see a piece of meat, in my mind, I instantly see the animal laying there. I just do. It is how I am wired.

Now, all that being said, I don't think it is wrong for you to eat meat. If your conscience is clean when you chow down, then you are doing what is right for you. I have to do what is right for me.

If you do have any questions for me, maybe about my diet if you have concerns about having me over for dinner, feel free to ask. I would be glad to clarify anything you might need clarified. I would be glad to help you learn to cook healthy, tasty vegetarian meals, as well. You can even come over for dinner if you want something special and non meaty.

I am, though, completely tired of any backlash for not eating meat. Basically, you need to get over it.

I am happy with myself, and love the way I live. So, be happy for me, and appreciate our differences. We can all live together, and can even eat together peaceably, if you would just let us. So, please, take me as I am. You don't have to understand it. There isn't anything for you to understand more than the fact that I won't ingest animals. There isn't anything for your to like or dislike, either. It is just what it is. I am what I am.