I Am Not A One Woman Army

If there is one thing I learned from my many years of leading a moms group, it is that building a good organization takes a great team.  One person, no matter how dedicated they are, can not do it all, at least not with out driving themselves into the ground, or taking speed, or both.  (The speed is a reference to an episode of Desperate Housewives, back when I used to watch.) You see, I tried to do everything when I first started up the group, and that just wasn't working for me.  Once I realized that I needed help, and I got great help, the group started to flourish.  It takes both a dedicated leader and people who are willing to pitch in to make something really work.
So, I take all of that with me as I move forward in my volunteer career.   I just started a Girl scout troop for both my girls, as there wasn't one that could take them.  I am fully aware of how much I need help.  I could try to do it all, but there are a few problems with that.  First, Girl Scouts won't let me.  It is against the rules for there to be only one adult present at get together.  We must have at least two non related adults.  That means my husband can't count, even if he is registered as a co-leader since he will be with us a lot (he happens to also be first aid trained and a great resource for many of the outdoor skills I want to teach the older girls).  Still, we need other adults to pitch in.
Second, I have a life to live, and need to do so.  When I first started my moms group, I let it run my life, and that wasn't good for me.  I had to learn that the hard way.  I tried to do everything and please everyone, but that didn't work. I made a lot of mistakes, and it took me a long time to realize just how thin was too thin when it came to stretching myself.
I want help.  I welcome help.  I actually am begging for help, but the parents have to be willing to give it.  Some will freely.  Some will when forced.  Some just don't want to.  That makes me sad.
I don't run a troop for myself.  I do this so that my girls can have a fantastic experience.  I want them to have a full child hood, and to me, this is just a part of it.  I know that it takes work, and I am willing to give that, for them.  I wish all my parents felt the same way.  Like I said, some will, and some...well, I hope I can enrich their daughters' lives as much as humanly possible for this one woman.

I Know I Have Gone Insane

I'm updating my blog, not really because I want to at the moment.  In fact, I would much, much rather be sleeping, like the rest of the people in my house.  However, in 18 minutes, I can grab more booth slots for my Girl Scouts.  So, even though every little person in currently snoozing away, I'm up.  Here.  For you.  No.  For me.  Whining.
Its moments like these that I realize just how insane I am.  Even though I am currently in this alone, since my co leader had to move quickly thanks to military life, and my husband is still yet deployed, I am going, full throttle, into a cookie season where I am leader, cookie parent, and more.  All of that, along with running my moms group, volunteering at my daughter's school, and simply trying to survive with three kids all by myself isn't easy, in fact, sometimes it feels like I suffocating. I know I'm not though.  I'm going to muddle through each and every bit of this, and ride the tide of crazy that comes along with doing too much sometimes.  I know I can handle this.  I may not do the best job that any one has ever done on all of it, but it will all get done, and that is just going to have to be good enough.  I may not have the time to take long showers and get my hair done, or keep myself looking like I want to, but those things aren't really important in the grand scheme of life.  I can be a little unkempt.  I can wear nothing but jeans and t-shirts, if that is where life takes me.  If I brush my hair as I am walking out the door, and the first mirror I look in is the rear view when I take off each day, so be it.  For the moment, that may be the best I can do.
So, you will have to excuse me as I keep this post short.  I'm about to go pick times to take my kids and stand in front of a whole bunch of stores, trying to sell cookies.  I may go looking like I've been raised by wolves, but I will be there.

I have a Plan to Fix The Deficit

I have what I believe to be a full proof plan to fix all the money woes we have in the great city of San Diego.
This is a very valid plan.  Ok.  Part of it is.

If the city would just deputize me to be both a fashion police officer and a parking enforcement officer, I could wipe out the debt in no time.

I wouldn't be any kind of fashion style police officer.  No.  I want to be a fashion etiquette officer.  If I find you wearing inappropriate clothing, you get a ticket.  While I get the whole freedom of speech thing, I would specifically target those who come to schools or other places that are primarily for children dressed inappropriately.  Yesterday alone, I could have racked up a bundle.  The process would be simple.  You see someone wearing a torn jean mini skirt where the pockets hanging out of the bottom are inches longer than the whats left of the hem line, they get a ticket.  When there is also a rip that goes up to where their hip in the front, only covered by the hanging out pocket, the fine increases.  When wearing that with a mini, stretchy tube top, the fine doubles.  Then, on top of all of that, when you stand there and complain about being cold, I add a nuisance fine.  That one person could have netted at least at good $500 to $1000 to go to the cty.  In fact, I think that when you wear that and are fined on school grounds, the money should go straight to the school system.  With some of the moms I see at schools, we could have every classroom in the city outfitted with the latest technology possible by next year, no problem.  Simply deputize one person per school, per school year, to do this as a volunteer position.  I'm absolutely positive the money brought in would out weigh the costs of training and the little ticket pads they would need to give us.

While that is wishful, and catty, thinking, the next part is actually very realistic, and I am thinking of how to propose this to the city.  Much like the Retired Senior Volunteer Patrol (RSVP) that drives around and checks on handicap spots, if they would seriously give the power to one person at a school to write tickets for parking violations, we could make mad bank.  Every day, it drives me nuts to see the people who really have no respect for others, and violate every parking rule possible when they pick up their children.  Apparently, each on of them seems to be more important than anyone else there.  You don't park in a red zone.  You don't park where you are blocking a drive way. You really, really don't park over a mini red zone, while blocking a drive way.  I'm barely able to walk some days, but if I don't get there early enough to get close to the school, I park on the next block and walk.  I doubt anyone has a valid reason for the bad parking.  Its just called lazy.  So, if people want to be that lazy, then they can pay for their crime, literally.  I would be glad to do it all for free.  Again, I am positive that the money brought in from all the parking tickets would far outweigh the costs of training and the little ticket pads.  Frankly, it would also be beneficial to the rest of us who do follow parking regulations.  Once you eliminate the people double parked, honking their horns at a child who doesn't even notice they are sitting there and blocking traffic, you are going to speed up traffic flow for everyone else.  I think it is a total win/win situation.  Unless, of course, you are the scofflaw who parks poorly, but then, you would deserve it.

If only someone high up would consider my proposals.  The second one at least.  I think we could make a dent in the city's financial woes one single volunteer with a pad of paper and pen at a time.

Cookies Galore

This year,  I am the Troop Cookie Manager for The Big One's Girl Scout Troop.  Yes, that is a real title.  We even get our own abbreviation (TCM) in all the hand out materials that parents get.
I am in charge of the whole cookie process for our troop.

I have to tell you, as much I used to think the whole cookie thing was a little crazy, that was nothing compared to the knowledge I have gained and the realization that this is nuts.

For starters, as the TCM, I had to attend training on how to do my job.  I was given a manual that is actually about a half inch thick, and the size of standard notebook paper.  There is tons of information in there.   I have found that manual to be invaluable already.  I carry it like my Bible.

Once I was trained, I had to train all the parents on cookie selling.  It sounds pretty simple, but it isn't.  There is a ton of paperwork for each parent to fill out.  We have opted to let the girls use an online Cookie website, so with the permission slips needed for that, and the cookies in general, I had to get at least 4 signed forms from parents.  On top of that, they had a parent hand book to go over.  We have to go over all the rules of the sale, some of which are very specific, and parents must adhere to all rules or else we, as a troop, face penalties.  It is all a bit much when you go over it, but we got it done.

After every one signs up, I have to put in an order for the entire troop for cookies.  We use the "Cookies Now" program here.  That means we dont' take orders.  You start selling from day one with cookies in hand.  I have to decide how many cookies the troop will need, how to divide up the order, and then maintain everything from that point through the sale.

I just finished picking up the entire initial order for our troop from the warehouse, and that is insane.

Imagine a large warehouse that has storage and loading/unloading facilities for semi-trucks.  I pull up to see 8 semi truck loading bay windows in a row full of Girl Scout cookies.  At each window is a different area with in our Council, all labeled so that you could find your Service Unit.  In each bay is a group of women, and thousands upon thousands of boxes of cookies.  You find your window, go up, and check in.  This means you take any paperwork they have for you, and then you count every case of cookies that they have preset on a pallet for you to make sure it matches what you ordered.  Once you say they are all there, you sign for the cookies, then go to your car.  We signed up for a time slot.  At your allotted time slot, you very quickly back up to the loading bay.  Women start jumping down, and this insanely fast loading process start.  IT has to be fast.  You have fine minutes to get your cookies loaded and get out.    Really.  Seriously.

I think the next best example of crazy is the booth sale lottery.  They call it a lottery, but it really isn't.  If you are familiar with sports at all, it is much more like a draft.  Every troop send a representative.  There are sign up sheets with time slots and locations of every booth sale we can get all around the room.  The process goes in rounds.  The first round starts, and a troop number is called.  That troop screams out of excitement, gets to run up, and make their time and place pick for their first sale.  Afterward, the next number gets called. It goes on and on until all each troop has been called once in the round.  Then round two starts.  There really is a lot of screaming and some power plays for good spots.  Teams from different troops sit together muttering strategies on getting the best spots.
Insane I tell you.

There is so much more involved with the whole process.  You have the booth sales to manage for your own troop, keeping the staffed, dealing with the girls, and keeping the cookies straight.  There is inventory and money to manage.  There is so much going on behind the scenes of those cookies rolling down the street in a wagon.

I guess, before I got involved in the whole process, I just never knew how intense it is.  This is serious business.

Along the way, we are trying to teach the girls a lot about life.  We are trying to help them gain skills they can carry over into adult hood.  We are trying to raise money for community service events and more.

I'm not trying to say cookies are bad, by any means.  I'm just saying, the next time you see a worn out parent standing next to a seven year old in front of a supermarket, who has probably driven them crazy with the process, buy a box, and give the parent a nod.  Not so much for the kids, but just to say, you must be one seriously dedicated parent to go through all this, and I respect that.

In Honor Of Chelsea

Today, many people have descended on a park in San Diego. They are there to finish a run that Chelsea will never got to complete. Chelsea King was a beautiful young woman who went out for a run one morning, and never came back home. Instead, she fell prey to a child predator that shouldn't have been out of jail.

So, today, the masses go to not only pay respect to Chelsea, and finish what she started, but to take a stand for her, and every child in our nation. A beautiful life was taken from us because the system failed her. No one can really say how many lives have been taken because the system fails to truly protect those who can not protect themselves, our children.

This is unacceptable. We as a society must take up the cause of keeping our children safe, and realize that if we don't take this stand, no one else is going to do it for us. We must be vigilant. We must be adamant. We can change the laws, and though it can never bring back the beauty of the those that were lost, we can honor them, by making sure it doesn't happen again.

Consider this issue, and when legislation comes that will give our children more protection, take a stand. Call your elected officials and let them know that you want change, you want to see laws passed that will keep our children safer. Be a part of the effort in any and every way you can.

So, today, while I can not be with those wonderful people running where Chelsea ran, I will instead go to the park here. The Girls and I will have a picnic lunch, and play, and then we are going to walk, and we are going to do it all in honor of Chelsea.

If I Make You Cry, You Probably Deserve It

Tonight, I made someone cry. I made another mother cry. This was no stranger, either. It was someone I know very well and am around often enough. Quite frankly, she did deserve it. She deserved more than just a tongue lashing, but for some reason, I spared her.

Most of the time, I believe that however people choose to parent, it is not my place to judge. You do what works for you, and I do what works for me. I may not like what you do as a parent, but it isn't my place to tell you what to do.

There are two exceptions to that belief of mine. The first is if you ask. The second is when I feel a child is truly in danger.

Tonight, I encountered the latter of those two exceptions. With the recent news about Chelsea King, I think my danger meter is off the charts full time right now. Then, I saw a clear cut case of neglect and child endangerment, and my meter exploded.

This mother is truthfully lucky it was only my own face and finger in her face. The full force of that danger meter explosion came right at her, but she needed it. She needed someone to snap her back to our reality and make her understand that what she did was absolutely terrible. She needed to cry. The reality that we live in isn't pretty all the time, and we have to do everything in our power to try and keep our children from seeing that ugly side. She put her child in danger by choice, by being lazy, and that is simply not acceptable.

I hope tonight I was that shock for her. With all of my heart I hope that she never makes that mistake again. It is my hope that child can grow up to live a happy and healthy life, and if it takes an occasional verbal beating on her mother to get her there, so be it. I'll be around to provide that service when necessary.

School is not Babysitting

School is not the place where you send your child just to get away from them. It isn't a free baby sitting service. After school activities are not more free sitting services.

Do not drop Jr off and then run to your me time. Stay there. Wait at school with them every now and then until the bell rings. You might just learn something.

Take some time. Get involved. Be a part of making your child's educational experience a great one both at home and at school. Care about your child and their future. Care about the future of every child at that school. Be a parent.

I wish more parents would take me up on this.

Thanks to all of those parents that do care and are involved. You should be proud of yourselves.


That is all. You may now go on your way.