Thursday, February 14, 2008

Coming of Age

Ok. I am going to admit something publicly that I really don't care to. I am going to turn 30 soon. I know, I know. It may seem petty to many that I am fretting over turning 30. It isn't a big deal to many people, but it is to me.

For whatever reason, my mind simply can not wrap itself around the fact that I am hitting up another decade. I don't feel what I think 30 is. I don't feel like I should be in the 30 something category. True that I am married with 2 kids, but I just don't feel ready to be 30. Now, before I get snarky comments about 30 not being old; I know it isn't. considering the potential life span of an average female in the US, it is far from old. It is though, that age where you are supposed to be somewhere. There is a place that you should be in within in your own life when you hit 30. It is sort of a settled place. I am not any where near that place. I haven't yet to finish school. I am far from buying a home. We just haven't done all of the 30 year old things that we should have done yet. I suppose it is not the numerical age that is the problem, but the fact that I am simply not where I thought I would be at this age.

So, I have decided not to celebrate this year. Not yet. Perhaps if I come to terms with the age, I will. For now, though, I have instructed my husband not to do anything for my birthday. I don't want a presents or a party. I don't want cake and ice cream....well. Ok, I want cake and ice cream, but not birthday cake and birthday ice cream. = )