Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Looking for Surrogate Grandparents

Today has been difficult, and it isn't even over yet. Though many things are conspiring aginst the day, I realized today that the biggest contributior to my difficult circumstance is that my family is no where near. My husband is out of town. My parents and the rest of my family live states away. So, here I am, alone and pregnant, trying to take care of everything. I need help.

So, I have decided that there is only one way to fix all this. I need some surrogate grandparnets. My own grandparents have all passed away. So, I can't be hurting any feelings by looking for some new ones. I'm definitly not trying to replace the grandparents that the girls have. They are wonderful as they are. I just need someone to be my grandparent again, and take me under their wing sometimes.

Grandparents would be great. I could ask my new grandmother to come over and sit with us, just so I could rest a little today. I could ask my new grandfather to help me figure out what is wrong with my tire because it is getting low. Then, when we found the screw in it, he could told me what we needed to do, explain that it was no big deal, and help me get it fixed, because thats just what a grandpa would do. They would come over and dote on the girls for a while, making them feel extra special, and helping ease their pain from missing their father. My grandmother could spend time with The Girls and I in the kitchen, helping us make holiday cookies and maybe even teach the girls to make biscuits or can. There are so many things that new grandparents could do.

There is a lot we could do for them, as well. I would be glad to take them out shopping or help them run errands. They could get so much love from two little girls who have it in bushels to give out. There would be family dinners that I love to cook. Of course, holidays dinners would be there. The Girls love to draw pictures for people, and would undoubtly be able to cover their fridge. The both like to sing and dance for you, and can be quite entertaining. We could be the grandchildren and great grandchildren they never get to see, or don't have.

I think it would be a great deal for both sides.

So, if you are of grandparent, or great grandparent age, and need a family to love, please consider us. We are really nice. A little loud sometimes. I do like polotics, and can be very opinionated, be that good or bad. I love political debates as well. My husband is in the military, and tell some good tales to match any you might want to share about your own military back ground. The Girls are wonderful, most of the time, and will melt your heart in an instant. Don't forget the baby to be. There isnt anything like a new baby in a family. We hope to find you sometime soon and make all of our lives a little brighter.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

So, Apparently I Have a Crappy Reaction Too

The Big One has been beyond excited about the new baby coming. It has been such a pain to keep her quiet. We didn't want to tell anyone until after we hit 12 weeks. We made the mistake of telling her about 6 days before that. She had the hardest time. The first day after we told her, when she came home from school, I ask her who she told.
Her eyes got big. She couldn't look me directly in the face.

"No one."

"Who did you tell?"

"I didn't tell anyone. They just looked at your stomach and guessed."

"Who did you tell?"

"Well, I only said 'b' and they thought you had a bee on you. So, then I had to tell them no, and they just figured it out."

"Who did you tell?"


And is has been like that every day. Our appointment was on a Thursday. So, on Wednesday, she couldn't take much more. She told everyone, and I mean everyone, that she had a huge family seceret that she couldn't share. That includes telling her teacher. I have since ask her never to tell her teacher that there is a family secret she can't share again.

We go to the appointment, and get to see the baby. We release her from her bond of silence. You would really think that chains had fallen off her.

As soon as we got to school the next morning, she ran to her class and started telling all of her little girl friends. I know she was telling them because one at a time they all looked at my stomach, then smalled and laughed. Some of them told her conratulations, which I found quit funny from one seven year old to another.

Afterschool that day, I ask her who all she told.


"Really? Eveyrone?"

"Well, no. Not everyone. I only told my whole class. I didn't get to tell everyone out of my class yet."

Ahhh....I see.

So it has been everywhere we go, with each friend we see. We had Girl Scouts yesterday. She ask me if she could tell her leader, Ms. Sarah. I told her that was fine. Though we both have a claim to Sarah, I as a friend, and she as an adult in her life, she is way more into telling than I am, obviously.
She ran in, and instantly blurted out the news. Ms. Sarah looked at me and ask if it was true, she does know The Big One pretty well after all. I confirmed it.

We talked about it for a bit, but I admit, I am not excited when I talk about it. I kind of make it sound like no big deal, so much so, that Sarah remarked on my lack of exuberance. Apparently, I am the one who isn't reacting well for other people.

It isn't that I don't care, or that I am not excited. I am. This, though, is our third child, and I don't feel like running up to everyone I know and telling them that we are expecting. I don't want my every conversation to be about the baby. That's what first time moms do. I'm not there anymore. This baby is a whole new chapter in our lives, and one that I am happy about for sure, though. I look forward to meeting it, and loving this brand new little person who will change our lives in so many wonderful ways. I look forward to new experiences, and experiences that will be new all over again.

I guess I just need to work on my own facial expressions and things. Maybe its the fact that no one I love has really been happy for us, and it is starting to affect my own outlook. Maybe once I'm not so tired and nauseous that I want to spend the entire day in bed, I can muster up the energy for a better reaction myself. I'm not sure, but I promise to work on it. After all, I can't expect the world to be happy for us, if they don't think I am happy for us.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Thanks For All the Crappy Reactions

Today was kind of a big day. My husband is getting ready to leave for a little while. So, we took this as the last chance to tell our families that we were expecting.
We always try to think of something clever to do. This is, after all, not our first rodeo when it comes to telling them news like this.

I suggested a simple approach. Send them a picture/text message of the last sonnagram, and say nothing else. So, we did, and we waited.

I think as a whole, everyone was pretty much confused. They had no idea what the picture was, or whose it was. My Mother in Law even went so far as to ask whose baby it was. That could have gone a few different ways, but, ehh.

To be honest, they were all shocked. Completly shocked. I can't say I totally blame them. This is really pretty unexpected, and we knew that if we decided to have any more it would be difficult, with serious potential complications. They all knew that, too. So, the idea of adding any more to our family was just gone. So, again, I get the shock. However, that doesn't mean it isn't a good thing, or something to be celebrated.

I think only My Sister gave us a decdent reaction. She was excited. My mother pretty much failed to comment. My brother didn't even talk to me, only his wife did.
I mean, those I love the most pretty much left us hanging, and I have to tell you it hurts a little. Maybe even more than a little. I want happy, not happy/concerned.

I hope that people come around in time. I hope they all eventually get happy for us. For now, I feel nearly alone in all of this. What a way to start out.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Where's the Pee?

**warning**  This post is about bodily functions, and may well gross or freak some of you out.

Last night, I had the hands down, weirded pregnancy related thing happen to me ever.

I couldn't pee.

I woke up at 3:30am, because that is just what happens when you are pregnant, and had to pee, badly. I went into the bathroom, sat, and couldn't pee. At all.  I just sat there, and the need to pee kept growing.

It was very uncomfortable, to say the least.

After 15 minutes of trying to pee, I got up, and got My Husband.  Something was definitely wrong down there.

He ask if I needed to go the ER.  I wanted to wait a bit, but I really needed to go pee and it was getting worse!

I walked around for a while.  After a little walking, I tried again, and finally, trying hard to pee, I got a little, tiny, trickle out.

That was not what I needed to do.  I needed to pee like a race horse, but I could only get it out a drop at a time.  After like 45 minutes, the need was gone.  I got it all out, and it started coming  little faster as I sat, but it took nearly 24 hours for me to start peeing normally.

I have since ask my OB, and she said it can happen.  The urethra can sometimes kink.  It is actually very serious.  If I were unable to make myself pee, I would have had to go into the ER so that they could drain in, in order to keep it from bursting!! She said the walking was good, and that a hot bath works sometimes as well.

I'm pretty sure this is one of the top 10 freaky pregnancy things ever.  I think it needs to be added into the course information for every sex education class taught.  If we just tell teen girls that they may have to go in and have their bladders drained, along with every freaky, nasty thing else that can happen, I swear we can cut the teen pregnancy rate in half.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Fundraising Hell

It is the beginning of the school year, just over a month in, and already we are in fundraising hell. I don't understand it. We just got hit with our 4th fundraiser of the year. Yes. Four already. The first was a "sell them junk" fundraiser for the PTA, which I hate. Normally we try to sell. This year, we really didn't. I would rather write the PTA a check for $50 and be done with it. When I have that $50 laying around, I will. Oh, wait, I already wrote them a check for $50 when I joined the PTA. (Ten dollars for dues to cover two adults then a donation) So, I suppose I am covered there.

Next, came our first of two Girl Scout fundraisers for the year. In the fall, we sell nuts. No seriously. I swear we sell nuts too. Then, in the spring come the famous cookies. That one isn't so hard because people want the cookies. People don't so much want the crap or the nuts. Nuts definitely did better than crap, though, as we actually sold some.

After that the school started selling "Spooky Grams". It is a very peer pressure driven way of raising money for the fall festival at the school. You can buy your child a little Halloween themed sucker or cookie with a note stating who it is from. Your child can also buy them for other friends. Do you see the peer pressure coming at us from both the children and the adult peers? You have to buy at least one. You don't want your child to be the only one who doesn't get one. So far, we have bought three, and I expect another two minimum before it is over. Hey, peer pressure works.

Today, we received a flyer about a night out to eat to raise money for the PTA again. It is a set price pizza buffet that isn't that cheap. Again, this one has the peer pressure. Who is going? Who isn't going? Will my friends be there? Will I be left out?
I'm not sure if the peer pressure will overrule the wallet this time, but it very well might.

I know this is all to raise money for good things, but you have to give parents a break. We can't do this all at once. We need some space in there, and I don't just mean the space left in our wallet and empty bank accounts. Not only do we need the space, but we can't keep hammering people we know to buy stuff they really don't want to buy, but feel like they have to. I mean, who really buys that wrapping paper because they can't find any better or cheaper anywhere? You buy it because at least you won't have to throw it away, and you it won't give you zits or make you gain five pounds. Maybe you just buy the stuff that will make you gain five pounds because at least you can eat it. Either way, it is all stuff you can really live without.

So, please, high up people who run organizations, the PTA and Scout people, give us a little time. Space a few things out for you. Even though someone will have to bite the bullet and not get money right away, you might end up making more in the long run just by sharing your space a bit more. I'm over this fundraising hell, and would like to find a way just to help out, with out the burning sensation in my wallet.

Biker Santa Says My Children Are Good And I Have Proof

I had one of the weirdest and yet somehow coolest, experiences ever today. What I am about to tell you is totally true, and I swear I am of sound mind.

Today, we were stopped by Santa, (Yes I know it is a little early for Christmas references, but I couldn't help this one.) and he told my children they were being good, and actually gave them something for proof.

Today was an errand day. One of those totally fantastic days that everyone who has to take children around with them loves.

My day was made even better by the fact that The Little One was in rare form. She started off today by picking quite a snazzy outfit. There were black sparkling leggings, a pink t-shirt with a skull, bow, and rhinestones on it, a sparkling headband, and to top it all off, her princess shoulder bag, which she insisted on as it her as it had her "two monies" in it and she might need to buy something. What you can get with 6 cents, I don't know, but I wasn't going to argue today.
Not only was she dressed to the nines, but her attitude matched. She thought she was cute stuff. Granted, she was, and is.

As a final errand, we had to run by the bank. As we walk in, The Little One strutting her stuff, bag on shoulder, I notice an older biker style gentleman with a long white beard, and black leather vest watching her. The older man was trying not to laugh. You could tell he thought she was cute.

We get in line, because there is always a line at my bank, and wait. The Biker gentleman walks up to us and stops. He looks at me and says "Seems like they have been pretty good."
I just nod and agree, because when someone tells you that your kids are being well behaved, you just agree.
Then he looks at the girls and says "I think you all have been very good, and I want to give you something." He pulls these cute and cheesy little coins out that say "you have been caught being good" on them. He tell them what the coins say, and gives them each one. They thank him, and he gets in line a few people back from us.

Then, he calls me "Mom" and gets my attention. He starts making small talk about The Little One. He ask if she was independent, which I replied in the affirmative rather quickly. Apparently his youngest granddaughter is the same.

"She must be a hand full too, then", I said back.
He smiled. He said his granddaughter was quite precocious. I again replied that I totally understood.

I turned around to talk to The Big One, who had been trying to get my attention. She leans in, and whispers to me.
"Do you know that man?".

I told her no.

"Don't you know you aren't supposed to talk to strangers?"

I tried not to laugh. I explained that it was ok and why.

The biker gentleman gets my attention with another "Mom".

Then, he tells me the strangest thing. "Weekends in December at Seaport Village".

I probably looked as dumbfound as I felt because I had no idea what he was talking about. Seaport Village is a great little touristy area that does a lot of neat things for kids, but I wasn't sure what he was getting at.

Until he tugged his white beard.

Holy crap I had been talking to Santa. I even said that Santa's granddaughter must be a handful. I hope that didn't put me on the naughty list, because according to The Man himself, my girls are pretty good. He even gave them proof.

Right about then it was our turn. I wished him a good day and we went on about our business.

Later on, when retelling the story to her dad, The Big One had the epiphany as well. Her eyes got big, and you could actually see the light bulb go off above her.
"What if that was the real Santa?"
We told her it might have been good, and reminded her he knows if she is being good or bad, and is always watching. I think this one may leave a lasting impression on her. Well, lasting the next 2 months approximately, anyway.

No matter what, as soon as they start to forget about those coins, I plan on hiding them away somewhere. When they are older I will tell them the story about Santa stopping them in the bank, telling them they were being good, and give them their coins back. They can pass that on to their own children and grandchildren if they want.

I love a good Santa story for the generations.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

So Many Wives, So Little Time

I will be honest, much like ashamedly admitting I used to watch Flavor Of Love, I have to tell you that I have started watching Sister Wives. Somehow, I think the two are about in the same category.
I'm not sure why I watch. Perhaps I am trying to figure this whole thing out, but honestly, it just kind of makes for a good train wreck.

There are somethings that really bother me. It made my skin crawl when the father, Kody, sat right there as wife number something or other told him she felt like she was losing her best friend because he wanted to bring in another wife. He admitted that he was causing his existing wives pain, but went ahead with everything anyway.

Now I'm pretty sure that doing things you know would hurt the ones you supposedly love does not make for being a good husband. Not only that, but isn't three enough? Does he need a different bedroom for every night of the week? And gross, while we are on that subject. Who washes all those sheets. Ick. I'll stop there.

With all the publicity they have been getting, I have actually given this whole thing a lot of thought. I have been able to find a few positives in their relationship quagmire, though that surprised me.

It hit me, that if you have really low self esteem, this is the perfect relationship for you. He will never leave you. He may add another wife if he gets tired of you, but you will always be there, sharing a bed at least occasionally as his duty requires.

Built in babysitters. Now, that makes even me consider this. Part of this whole "Sister Wife" concept is that you are one big family, and you help take care of each other's children, who are all brothers and sisters anyway. So, if I need to go out, if I just need to get away, I could just go. That sounds too fabulous to be true. Of course, it really is, because it all comes back to the catch, sharing Daddy. And I'm just not down with that.

While there may be some positives, when I think about it, I always end up with way more cons than pros. This isn't for me. Ever. There are just too many things I don't think I could agree with.

What if I really, really wanted some "quality time" and it wasn't my night? Do I just have to wait? No thank you. I think that is something that comes with the ring. When you are single and alone, you have to plan for sex. Not when you are married. Well, maybe a little when you have small children and you have to work around them and getting them in bed, but otherwise, really, it should be pretty much available when both partners are interested in the least.

Nor do I think I could handle all those kids in one house. It would drive me beyond batty. My mom is one of twelve children. Let me hit you with that again just so you can believe it. My mom is 1 of 12 children, and no they aren't Mormon. I have seen her family. I know how crazy you end up when you have a house full of siblings. My mom was lucky enough to be one of the oldest and escape the asylum at a young age.

Not only that, but when it comes right down to it, I really believe in the old adage "What's good for the goose is good for the gander", a simple statement of equality. This show is the exact opposite of that. No matter what else I have a problem with, that is a deal breaker right there.

Maybe this lifestyle really works for them. Maybe some of the wives were raised that way, and just don't know another way of life. I suppose as long as no one is really being abused or hurt, then whatever they want is peachy keen with me. As long as I'm not the one missing out when I want my snuggle time, more power to them, and their really big, combined family.

Friday, October 1, 2010

I Need Bubbles

This morning, I think I am going to start looking for bubbles.
Not the kind you blow. We have tons of that stuff around.
Not from champagne, or any other drink, either. We don't need that right now.
Certainly not the old chimp from Micheal Jackson days.

No. I want big plastic bubbles. The kind you can put your kids in to keep them away from germs and everything else. I need 4 of them. Two in adult sizes and two in a child size, please.

I'm not really sure what else to do at this point. We wash hands. We carry anti-bacterial hand sanitizer, and use it. I do my best to keep everyone healthy, but apparently it just isn't working.

I know kids are walking, talking germ factories and/or magnets, but this far, this season has been ridiculous. We have had at least 2 bouts of strep throat, some colds, and maybe a little scarlet fever thrown in for good mix. Apparently, whatever comes rolling their way, they catch. This isn't good.

It has been so bad, I am actually considering flu shots for the whole family this year, and we never get flu shots. I actually think they are a little creepy. Vaccines in general creep me out, not because of all the war about whether or not they cause autism and all that, but because the idea of shooting a dead version of the actual virus you are trying to avoid straight into your body just seems really off to me. While I really do get the science behind it, the cave womyn in me says "Virus no good. Me no get." and doesn't want to get near it. Not to mention the fact that I hate needles with a passion.

Actually, hate is the wrong word. I am terrified of the little things. I think it stems from having bad veins. I don't know, but lets just say my mother has never worried about me having any tattoos. Though, I did get some piercings, but that is a whole different story.

Anyway, I'll be looking for those bubbles, and some other way to keep them germ free. In the mean time, if you see a red headed mom at a park with one of those SARS masks on, and a little blond running around with one on too, don't freak out. It's just us, sick and tired of being sick.