Friday, December 31, 2010

I'd Rather Be Tired

This whole pregnancy thing sucks.

Yes.  I know I have said that many times.  I feel the need to say it again.

I'm 22 weeks, or about 4-5 months pregnant.  How ever you want to look at it., and this sucks.

Not only does it hurt to lift my legs, and hurt in not nice places, but I still get random shots of serious queasiness. Tonight, the whole family was horsing around, when I suddenly threw up a little.  I managed to keep it on and in me, ran to the kitchen, and had to hang there for like 20 minutes.

This sucks.

The pain is getting to be pretty bad some days.  Not the normal pregnancy pain, but the pain from having double hernias and being 22 weeks pregnant.  It really, really sucks.  I lay in bed, tears forcing their way out of my eyes no matter how much I tried to hold them back, for at least an hour today.

Sucks, I tell you.

I know that when a baby comes, life is difficult.  I have done it before.  Never with two children, and one of them in school at the crack of dawn, but I definitely understand the process.  I get that I won't sleep for more than two hours at a time.  I know I'll be drinking enough coffee to make my blood turn a murky brown, and that is even if the baby, heaven forbid, develops a lactose problem.  I'll just be drinking it black.  I know we will all have a massive adjustment to having a tiny one again, but I welcome that, and all the grouchy, icky, spit up covered woes it will bring.  I would welcome the sleepless nights and dirty diapers with open arms if I could trade that now for what I am going through.

I don't like being pregnant.  I don't like not being able to do what I want.  In fact, I can barely do anything without it causing me pain these days.  I should have been dragging my tail up to a friend's house to help her every day this week, but I haven't.  I just can't muster the get up and go to be able to deal with it all, and I hate not being a good friend like I need to be.


I realize this whole thing is nothing but a pity party, but sometimes, you have to throw one, and that's ok, as long as you don't stay.

I won't stay.  I'll get over it.

I promise to be better, and happier, soon.  Until then, just promise not to laugh at me when I can't raise my legs more than three inches with out a twinge in my va-jay-jay.  Instead, laugh with me when I swear to you that a cantaloupe is going to fall out of there any minute.  Laugh with me when I forget for the 100th time what we said we were going to do next week.  Laugh with me about everything we can find to laugh about.  Laughter really is my best medicine, and I can use all of it I can get.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Naming Wars Have Begun

I don't know that naming a child is ever easy.  In our little family, it certainly isn't.
I think that my family feared for all of my children, long before any one of them was conceived, or I was even married.  I am pretty sure they thought that names straight of the Goth book of baby names, which I did consult, would be on the top of my list.  They were probably expecting a little Chaos, Draven, or Siouxsie would be coming their way.
However, I would say I shocked just about everyone with our name choices.  They both have lovely, normal names, and maybe even a little bit traditional.  Both girls have flowers in there somewhere, and are also familial names.
I think we did quite well.

This last one, though, seems to have used up all of my ability to give a nice normal name.  I am really at a loss, and everything I like, that fits with the theme we have going, is a little out there.

My Husband hates them all.

In turn, he is really trying to push names he likes.  Part of that may be that I really had a larger part in coming up with the names of both girls, even if he agreed and liked them.  So, he is pushing things he really likes that are his ideas this time. I understand that.
The sucky part is that had this one turned out to be a boy, and it may yet as there is a small chance, we have a name ready.  One that he came up with entirely, and I love.  I really do.  I am committed to that name for a boy until we officially can't have any more.  Girls names, though, just aren't going to be easy.

Throw into the mix the fact that we already have two other children who want to be part of the process, and while we may not end up with a Chaos, we definitely have naming chaos.  There are names just flying about all the time.  I'm sure it would be comical to hear and see our conversations if you weren't the one naming them.  It's like some twisted game where we face each other, the first person shouts off a name, the next then counters with some other name.  It can go on for hours, with with middle name variations and all.

Seriously, this is difficult.

And we aren't the kind of people who can wait until we see the baby to name it, either.  It won't just come to us.  We will agree before she gets here, one way or another.  The another may be a challenged game of skill, but we will come to some agreement.  Maybe we will break it down Brady style with a house of cards, but one way or another, we will be ready by the time we walk into that hospital to deliver.

So, to all of my family and friends, please be prepared.  We may have spared you the "What did they name her?" shocked question the first two times, but I make no promises this time around.  Get ready.  She will be who she will be.  She is our special little one, and while we won't be making up any Renesmee type crazy things, she may be the most uniquely named one of them all.  

Sunday, December 26, 2010

All Girls and We Still Get the Good Toys

I think, in a perfectly juxtapose way, the two main gift brands passed at our house this year were Barbie and Nerf.  That's right.  Nerf.  As in Nerf guns.
The Girls got a Nerf Gun.
Their Father got a massive Nerf gun that is has its own shield attached, Nerf bandoleer straps with extra ammo cases, and extra Nerf bullets.
I even got, in what was a very sweet gesture, a tiny little Nerf gun that will go under my pillow now to help ward off early morning sneak attacks, and really will be The Littlest One's first gun.  Apparently, she needs one as soon as possible, and I can bear the gun, like I get to bear her, until she gets here.

Just because our house is and will continue to be made up of primarily females, 3 daughters, 2 female Guinea pigs, and me to one lone male, we don't play tea party or bake all day long.  While we love to do those things, by no means do we keep it straight girly around here.

Not only do we have Nerf wars, complete with favorite hiding spots for ambushing your enemy, but we do all kinds of cool things, that once would have been reserved for only boys.

The Girls know helicopter Aircrew calls.  They know them because their father practices the calls with them when appropriate.  Generally, this starts at a young age when he can still lift and throw them pretty well.  The Girls have practiced auto-rotations, simulating loss of engine power and the helicopter spinning downward.  They have practiced Search and Rescue calls as they jump out of our vehicles, where the call leading up to it directs the SAR swimmer to jump from the helicopter into the water.  They "jump, jump, jump" well on command now.

The Girls wrestle and fight with their father as much as any two boys do.  Either he or The Big One start it all the time.  We can't sit on the couch together without someone ending up in a head lock, or fighting for their lives to keep from getting farted on.  Which, I must admit with a bit of chagrin sometimes includes me, and is one of the times I do wish we kept it a little more girly around here.

Still, I love the fact that The Girls can do it all.  They can go and play with Barbies for hours on end. They carry around their little stuffed animals and care for them like little babies.  Then they can go pick up a Nerf gun and shoot down a fort made of the boxes from their Barbie toys, as much of Christmas day was spent doing.

I want them to all be well rounded.  I want them to reach for any dream they can dream of, and teaching them that its ok for girls to have a Nerf gun and a tea set is part of that.  I hope they all grow up to be strong women, prepared to take on the world, in whatever capacity they choose to take it on.  Whether they end up helicopter pilots, lawyers, chefs, or homemakers, I want them to be the best that they can be.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all!  I hope every one had a fantastic holiday filled with the laughter smiles of those you love most!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

No. No. I won't be making that appointment.

As I posted before, my OB wants me to see a surgeon.  The surgeon that has handled my hernia stuff before doesn't have privileges at the women's hospital I will be delivering at.  So, she won't be able to do it.  The OB put in a referral for a general surgeon, and I'll give you one guess who called today.

Don't need it?

Yup.  Naval Hospital Balboa.

They have the first right of refusal on everything.  So, anytime a referral goes through the system, someone there decides if they will take the case or not.  At least, that is what I was told.  Apparently, they want me now.
If you cause it, you can't fix it.  That is my rule.

Instead of having a total conniption fit, though, I just told them that this would be a problem since we needed to have the surgeon in room at my delivery, and I wouldn't be delivering there.
They guy took notes and will call me back.

This better be the end of it, because you can believe that no Dr there will ever be touching me again.  Ever.
I've been violated enough by one Dr there.  I mean, just the though of going back there to get my records makes me feel awful.  Its like visiting the scene of the crime and the fact that they turned the delivery of my child into something that feels like a crime really pisses me off.  I mean pisses me off. What should have been one of the most beautiful, memorable experiences of my life, was taken from me.  There certainly was a crime.  I was robbed of the joy and love that should fill my memories of that day.  While having my child here is wonderful, the day she was born, and the aftermath, will never be what they should have been in my memories.  I live the with physical pain of what they did every day of my life, and I will for the rest of my life.

So, the idea that they would even think that I would ever come back there is beyond laughable to at least ludicrous.

No.  I won't be making that appointment.  Ever.

I don't want to go all Mamma Bear here. I'm going to stay positive, and not make rash plans.  Just know that I will mean it when I say I won't be there.  From the bottom of my heart, one of the organs that didn't get screwed up by them, I mean it.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Moving Sound Good In Theory

Currently, we live in military housing.  It wasn't my first choice, and still isn't sometimes.  Military housing can be a little crazy.  You have all kinds of people, of very mixed ages, living smushed right on top of each other, and I really mean smushed.  The community I currently live in is very new.  About 7 years ago, they tore down the 700 homes that were here, and started building.  In fact, when we moved here 6 years ago, they were under construction and hadn't even started about half of the community. The thing is, they built back almost a thousand homes in the place of those 700.  So, were really talking tiny, but tall, town homes.  I live in a three story home just to fit the three bedrooms we now have in.  So, when you can practically answer your neighbor's phone for them, there can be difficulties.  Not always, but it happens, especially when you have the neighbors we had who partied until 2 am right below my bedroom window every night.

Occasionally, there are also benefits.  You need benefits. One of the nice things about living in military housing is that if your family grows, you have the option of getting a larger house sometimes.  We are exercising that option.  I am not keen on the idea of a three story with a new born, the girls sharing a room, and being on the third floor by themselves.  We could do it, but I don't really want to.  Instead, we went into the housing office, and because we are willing to move around the holidays, they were actually able to offer us a 4 bedroom house on the spot.  That is very rare around here.  I spent a day going back and forth between housing, trying to find a better house than the one they first offered us, as it was on the only really bad street we have in this community, and backed up to a dump.  I lucked out.  A house diagonal to ours, on our street about 30 pace away, was also available.  We took it as fast as they would give it to us.

This also means we have to move as fast as possible.  Around the holidays.  The idea of being in a home that is better laid out for us is fantastic.  I just wish there was a a way to have it instantly happen.  I would use one of my three Genie wishes for this if I could.  A blink or nose wiggle and have it done would be awesome.  I'd give my eye teeth for an "Easy button" about now, too.

Instead, I'm waiting right now for a pre-move out inspection, which will tell me what all I need to fix before we move.  Since we are also moving within housing, they is the one where they really approve our move.  They pretty much want to get in and make sure we haven't trashed the place before they let us move to another place.  That makes sense.  The down side is that I am not able to do much, and I stress incredibly about how much I need to do.  Remember, I am emotionally unhinged.

Then come more packing, cleaning the new house, bumming anyone we can get to help us move, cleaning the old house, and then settling in at the new place and unpacking.  All with my physical limitations, and two monkeys as The Big One is out of school for a month.

I suppose this is just another thing we will get through.  In a few weeks, we will be all moved into our new place, settling down and getting ready for The Littlest One.  It will be nice when it is all over and I go from 4 bathrooms to clean to three.   I'm sure I really will be glad in the end, but until then, everyone hold on, and get ready for the moving storm coming.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Trying to Keep My Heart In Line With My Head

My head is trying to think logically, reasonably, but my heart is a little sad tonight.  I'm trying to convince my heart to believe my head, but it just isn't working.

Today was another of my OB Dr appointments.  This one wasn't my favorite.

Before I go any further, I need to insert a little back story for those who don't know.  When it comes to pregnancies, I am anything but normal now.  I don't think I ever was, having a bad history with pregnancies in general, but my last one ended very badly with the delivery.  Instead of doing a normal c-section, the Dr, aka the Butcher in my house, decided to do an incision that starts at my belly button and goes about 4 or so inches up.  Yes, up.  From that, I developed a massive hernia, and all of my organs had to be held in place with a piece of mesh about the size of a sheet of notebook paper and 10 staples going around my abdomen.  While that is still in place, I have lots of problems with it.  Then, because my abdominal muscle where was so strained, the site of my first c-section ripped open.  That is still open.  I was supposed to have this massive, nasty surgery, where the Dr was going to "remove the mesh from my tissues" debreed the opening (cut off all the dead parts of muscle to make it smooth), then sew me up from bottom to top of my abdomen.  That would cause some pulling with the muscle being more narrow, and so she was going to have to slit the side muscles of my abdomen all the way down on both sides to make more room.  Sounds nice, huh?

Instead of doing all that, I got pregnant.


The first appointment I had was a little scary.  There were maybes thrown back and forth.  However, by the second appointment, we had a hope.  They might be able to do a simple c-section, closing up the opening that is already ripped open, and just leave the rest for a while, so that I can at least care for my baby the first few months.  Eventually I would have to go back for the big nasty revision, but it could wait.

Today, the Dr just started rain on my parade a little.

To begin with, we don't have my records from the last c-section, and they can't plan anything for sure without them.  This is a must have, and 10 weeks later, no records from the previous hospital.  Now, I have to physically go down there, something I really will HATE doing, and get them myself.

Next, the Dr decided I have to go see a surgeon.  This is starting down a path I had really hopped to avoid.  I don't want to have the big nasty surgery when they take the baby, but it might have to happen.  The surgeon will be the one who really would look at everything, and make that decision.  It doesn't mean that it will happen, this just means that we are on the path to having that be an option.  I am trying to tell my self that this is just being prepared.  My OB also said that they don't deal with hernias, especially something so complicated and rare as mine is.  He wants someone who specialize in this, and would be more equipped to fix it once they got in there just in case.  Again, I have to tell myself this is all just good, practical planning.

Unfortunately, all of myself can't quite see it that way.  I want what is best for all of us, and if that means something that my heart really doesn't want, my head may just have to work double time to convince it.

Just to throw a little bit of salt in the wound, I had to get a tetanus and whooping cough shot today, because apparently whooping cough is back big time, and horrible for pregnant women.

Then, I had to have blood drawn for a standard gestational test, and the tech was terrible. He complained that my name was too long (I have both married and maiden last names along with a long first name).  I told him he should be glad he doesn't have to write it every day then.  When I found my focus spot on the wall, and started deep breathing, he ask how I was doing .  I returned the question, noting how he was doing was much more important than me at that point.  He thought he was being cute by telling me he was terrible, devastated, and piss off all at once.  I dismissed him.  Unfortunately, there was no one else there.  So, he took the blood, made it hurt, and left me with a big knot beside the vein he drew from.

Now, I'm upset with a very sore left arm in two spots.

This sucks, to say the least.

If there is any positive, its that we got to hear the baby's heart beat, and that always makes my day.  Even if The Littlest One is kicking away, hearing a heart beat always warms my own heart.  I am thankful that we are half way there, and pretty soon, I won't have to wait to feel the kicks inside anymore.  No matter how we get her, I can't wait to get her.

Our Tree

Long, long ago, before children, when I still wore the makeup and the boots, I used to have beautiful Christmas trees.  Each year it was the same.  I put real red roses, dried, on my tree with white lights, and silver balls.  I would sometimes use some red poinsettia flowers as well.  Anything that went on it was red and silver, and of course the white lights.  I would say it was a very fitting tree for my personality, especially since i had a thing for dried roses.  It could have been something for a magazine cover, maybe a dark/goth lite magazine, but still, a magazine.

Now, however, my tree is totally different.  I don't think there are any limits to what we put on it.  Now that I have children, I believe that the tree should reflect that, and be very festive.  We might even take that to the extreme now.  I think my tree looks a little like Christmas threw up on it, but at least it screams Christmas.  We use white and color lights.  We have more cartoon characters than you could probably count placed all over.  There are ornaments to represent each child, and different years.  Our garland is one of those colored paper ring things, and sometimes we add popcorn strings, too.  We have ice cycles, snow flakes, and real candy canes scattered about.

Then, my favorite part would be all the ornaments that The Girls have made.  I love those things.  Each year I have The Girls paint a ceramic ornament that my mom makes.  We sign and date the back.  It is a beautiful time line of maturity to see The Big One's first ceramic ornaments that she painted until the one for this year.  The Little One doesn't have so many, what with her only being three and all, but she will get there.  These are things I will treasure forever as a mom, and are probably one of my favorite parts of all of Christmas.

I guess when others look at our tree, they might see the Christmas vomit.  They might see a tree that has garland going in 5 different directions, because that is the way little hands put it there.  They might see one more hot mess hanging out in my living room.  I really don't care what other people see, though.  What I see is love and family, and nothing says Christmas more to me.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

MY Sweet Sensitive Child

This Big One is very much a sensitive child.  She takes everything to heart.  Right now, that is working against her.
She is having a difficult time dealing with the death of her friend's mother.  At her age, having a friend's mother die is a total shock.  That stuff is supposed to happen when your friend is 50, not 7, but here it is.

All day today, she needed me.  This child doesn't need me unless the milk jug is too full and she knows she will spill it.  Today, though, I was needed constantly.  It took forever to do math homework.  Again, this child does not need me.  She is well, and I mean well, above average when it comes to math.  Today, though, I had to show her how to do each problem again and again.  At one point, I finally had to go do laundry and get out of eyesight or else she would have really wanted me to sit and explain each little problem to her repeatedly, and that doesn't help her learn. She needed to sit by me, on me, on the couch tonight. She had to be in the kitchen with me no matter what I was doing.  I had to turn the water on for her bath, because I get it right.  I needed to wrap her towel around her after bath.  I needed to put her to bed, and stay in bed with her, which I did, until she fell asleep.  All day today, she needed me.

She is scared.   She needs to know that I am there.  I have opened the door many times to talk about what happened, but she doesnt' want to, not yet.

We did manage to talk about her friend.  I explained that even The Big One doesn't want to talk about the death and how she feels, she needs to let her friend talk to her.  She doesn't have to respond verbally, or discuss it, but just be a friend and listen.  I explained to her that it might make her friend feel better to get to talk about her mom to someone who will listen, and The Big One can do that.

Bless her little heart, when I told her how it makes you feel better to talk to about someone that you lost she said that it was like when I talk about Princess, my old family dog who died long before The Big One was born.  She had tears in her eyes when she told me that she loved Princess too because of all of the stories my Mom and I tell her.  It was so sweet.  She is just that kind of child.  She feels everything, for everyone.  While that can be a wonderful attribute, it can also make like a little harder sometimes, like right now.

It was a difficult day.  Hopefully tomorrow will be a little better, and each day we can gain back a little of her independence.  I will dote on her a little extra each day, and make sure she knows I love her, and am here for her.  I will always be here for her, as long as I am here.  I love The Girls more than anything in this world, and if it means turning on their bath water when they are 17, and they just need me, so be it.  That's what moms do when you hurt.  We kiss it and make it better.  The Big One got lots and lots of kisses today, and has lots more coming in the days to come.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Not Such A Wonderful Life

Life really isn't like the movies.  In the movies, you may not like your life, and you get to wish you weren't there.  After you see how much worse off the world is without you, you have some sort of redemption, and get to go back to your life, happier than ever.  Real life doesn't work like that.  Once you are gone, the people around you get to see how much worse off the world is, but you don't, and we can't get you back.

Each year that The Big One has been in school, an adult in the school has died.
The first year, it was a lovely womyn that worked with all the kids.  She worked in the lunch area, and volunteered her time with the kids, too.
Last year, it was their coach/P.E. Teacher.
This year, it was a teacher, who also happened to be the mom to one of the girls in The Big One's class.

We were shocked when we went in today and were told that she had died at the end of last week.  It was very sudden.  She passed away in her sleep one night, perhaps of a heart attack.  That's it.  That's all there is.

This woman was not only a teacher and mother, two incredible roles to begin with, but she was a Girl Scout leader, and led other groups at school as well.    She had two daughters at the school.  The older one is in the crossing guard and robotics club, which I believe her mom was faculty advisor for.  She always seemed to be very involved.  She will definitely be missed.  I doubt that we can even count the number of lives she had touched though all of her works.

When you see someone like this pass, you only wish life were like the movies.  I wish we could see how much we should appreciate people before they are really gone, but we don't get a second chance in this reality.
These girls have to go on without their mother.  Life must continue, and no matter how much we want, we can't change what is.

I can say that this is a wake up call.  We can't see what life is like without her, and then bring her back, but we can see maybe a glimpse into what life would be like without us.  Seeing someone in your own peer group die so young, I would guess just under 40, makes you realize that you have to do the best you can while you can.  I could go at any time.  It makes me want to be a healthier, happier person.  I have to realize that just because somethings in life suck, doesn't mean that life sucks, and we should never take anything for granted.  Maybe this is my chance to really see how much life means with me in it, and take steps, like healthy ones, to be sure I stick around for a while.  Maybe this is a change to really appreciate those around us now, and be thankful to and for them while we can.  Perhaps I am just morbidly engrossed because my dad started cancer treatments today, and I am full of extra pregnancy hormones, but I am having one of those moments where you really see how fleeting life is.  

I can't bring anyone back.  I can't change what is.  I can only promise to be the best me that I can be, and appreciate my life, and those in it, while I can.

Emotionally Unhinged

I have to admit something, I am a hormonal basket case right now.

I can honestly not count how many times that My Husband has ask my why I am crying this pregnancy, only for me to sob in response, "I don't know".  When I answer that, I really don't.

I can feel the tears start, and in my head, I realize that I shouldn't be crying, but I can't do anything about it.  Something simple will catch me off guard, and just like that, I will be a blubbering ball of mush for all the world to  see and have concern about.

It is correct to be concerned, too.  I could break down on any one, at any time.

The Big One's teacher must have thought I was a total nut job until he found out I was pregnant.  He very kindly stayed after class one day top go over class room policies and stuff as I couldn't attend the open house the night before.  In the midst of it all, I just started welling up.  I couldn't do anything about it.  I tried to play it off, and I think he was happy to let me try, but we both knew I was crying for no real reason.  Thankfully, he knows I am pregnant now, and when I start to get teary, he understands just to ignore the instant insanity that is the pregnant and hormonal woman.  I believe he has a wife and children, there for he gets it.

If only there was some way to notify, or warn the rest of the world, who probably can't tell if I am just getting fatter or pregnant yet.  I could wear a shirt that says "emotionally unhinged", but that could lead to a whole different set of problems.  I guess the best bet is just to carry lots of tissues, and be prepared to sob "I'm soorrryy.  I'm just pregnant" any time necessary.

So, if you know me, for the next few months, please be prepared to completely ignore my irrational outbursts.  I promise to try to go back to being a rather nice, and balanced person just as soon as possible.  Say in a few years.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Month of Thanks 11/29

Today I am really thankful that my mom is a great cook.  My jeans and waist line are not so thankful, but my heart and tummy sure are.  Nothing like one of moms home cooked meals to make you feel all warm and special inside. 

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Month of Thanks 11/28

Today, i am thankful my work is done for another year.  The Country Christmas Show for this year has been put to bed.  We made it through with only minor injuries (a dog scratch, busted lip from falling on concrete stairs, and a cold from being on the door too long).  Seems like a success to me, and for that, I am thankful. 

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Month of Thanks 11/27

Today, I am really thankful that I don't have to work this hard, or do the job I am doing right now as a full time position.  I am thankful it is once a year and then over.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Month of Thanks 11/26

Today, I am really thankful for the family i have that steps in to help me out with my girls. Those moments where I know my girls are safe and with someone I love so that I can really relax are wonderful and I am thankful for each moment.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Month of Thanks 11/25

Today, I am thankful for life. I am thankful for everything I have. I am thankful for my own little family and my extended family. I am thankful for the times we have together. I am thankful for today.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Month of Thanks 11/24

Today I am thankful for nice comfy beds.  I was just thinking about my grandmother talking to me about the straw mattresses she used to have, and I couldn't imagine.  I am so thankful for my nice comfy pillow top mattress, and the way I can just fall into it.  Sometimes, the little things we never think about would be a big deal to someone else.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Month of Thanks 11/23

Today I am thankful for the simple pleasures of being home.  I love being able to visit my home, and enjoy the southern warmth and flavor of the region.  Even if some things change, some things stay the same (like the food, YUM!) and for that I am thankful.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Month of Thanks 11/22

Today, I am thankful for my brother, and the funny, level headed guy he turned out to be.  I love the limited amount of time that I get spend with him, and I am thankful for every moment of it. 

Sunday, November 21, 2010

month of thanks 11/21

Today I am thankful for the ability to be expose my children to ways, crafts, and skills that so many people don't have or even know about anymore.

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Saturday, November 20, 2010

Month of Thanks 11/20

Today I am very thankful that my parents made me learn how to drive on a conversion van. Makes driving the big trucks my husband loves so much easier.

Friday, November 19, 2010

month of thanks 11/19

Today, I am so thankful for my girls and their personalities just as they are. I couldn't imagine them being any more wonderful just as they are.

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Thursday, November 18, 2010

Month of Thanks

Today, I am very thankful That the first leg of my holiday trip is over, and we made it safely.

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Wednesday, November 17, 2010

That Is Sooo Cool.

Today, I had yet another of the 14,000 appointment you have to go to when you are expecting.  I swear between blood draws, and rechecks, regular appointments,and more that you go to a ton of medical appointments while pregnant.  At least this time my OB is willing to manage my hypothroidism, and I don't have to see an endoconologist at the same time.  That was fun before.  Then again, it could all just be me, because I am special, and not in a good way when it comes to pregnancies.

Today's appointment was a regular checkup.  These I usually like.  For whatever reason, my body makes it nearly impossible to hear a baby's heartbeat until we get to the very end of the pregnancy.  When I was pregnant with The Big One, it really freaked me out each time that they would say they couldn't find the heart beat with the little dopplar thing, and needed to get an ultrasound.  The Husband and I would hold hands, hope and prey. Then, things would be just fine.  When it was The Little One, the same would happen, but The Husband and I would just look at each other.  I would remind the doctor that I was always difficult.  We would get the ultrasound, and it would all be fine.  Now, I just know.  I do worry deep down inside, but honestly, it is kind of a boon that my body just doesn't do dopplar.  It means that I get to see my baby at each appointment, and they almost always give me a picture each time.  I can actually chronical my child's growth in womb with pictures.  You can't get much cooler than that.

So, as is normal today, we got to see the baby.  This one is going to be stubborn.  I think today I decided it was a boy.  Not because we got tosee anything.  We didn't.  In fact, all we got to see was the baby's back.  It was laying on its side, back to us, and it refused to move.  The nurse practitioer pushed and prodded a little, and the baby kicked at her.  Then, resumed laying there content.  So, I figure this child doesn't want to move, it just wants to lay there and be lazy...there fore it must be a boy.  Aren't boys suppsoed to be lazier in utero?  I don't mean that to be a dig, I honestly swear I have been told that a thousand times.  Both girls were very active, but this one, just wanted to hang.

Maybe this is wishful thinking.  Maybe not.  I guess we will find out in a few months for sure.  Until then, I'll just take all those special pictures and put them in the scrap book stack that I will eventually start for this Little One, The Littlest One.

Month Of Thankfulness - 11/17

Today I am thankful that even though my body isn't perfect, and hasn't always cooperated, it has been able to make these tiny little lives that I love so much.  I am so thankful that I have had to opportunity to do this, no matter how difficult it has been, or will be, at times.  The fact that these little lives start growing in there is amazing to me, and I am so thankful for that.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Life Sans Microwave

It has been two days here now with no microwave.  Ok, actually, it has been about 31 and a half hours, but I swear it feels longer.

I had no idea how much I relied on that thing.  It seems like life came to a screeching halt the moment it died.  So many little things each day are taken care of by that one machine.  For starters, each day I give myself one cup of coffee with Starbucks instant.  It is really pretty good, and by using that, I really do limit myself to just one cup.  So, each morning, I heat up my little cup of water in the microwave.  Without it, I have to get out a pot, boil the water, dry the pot, and then put it away.  Blah.
The same goes for my tea, which I also drink quite a bit of.  I have plenty of caffeine free teas that I love to enjoy, especially on cooler days, and each one require the same long pot involved method right now.
All of this has forced me to bump up my electric tea kettle request for Christmas, because I swear I would use it.
After my nice warm drinks, I use the microwave for breakfast often.  When I make The Girls a batch of pancakes, I usually make enough for two days.  On the second day, they go in the microwave wrapped in a damp paper towel.  If not that, then maybe a piece of veggie sausage for me, or for the Little One.
Lunch is almost always made using the microwave.  We reheat leftovers pretty much every day. I always over  prepare dinner each night with the intention that it provides lunch throughout the week. So, not being able to reheat easily puts a serious damper on that plan, and on all the leftovers we have in the fridge that need to be eaten.
I can't really tell you, and perhaps I shouldn't just because I rely on that thing so much, how many times a day we use it, but I can tell you that we all miss it.  The Little One really misses pushing the buttons, or telling me "her numbers" as she likes to dictate the time I put on everything.  The Big One would just like breakfast a little faster.  Most of all, they all really want me to have my coffee as quickly as possible in the morning.  I agree with them.  Someone needs to fix this problem before the microwave isn't the only that can't fulfill it's obligations in the morning.

Month Of Thankfulness - 11/16

Today, I am thankful for days when my husband gets to spend time with us.  Those days are pretty rare now, with his work schedule, and I love the mornings he actually gets to spend with us, just hanging out, taking The Big One to school, and things like that.

Monday, November 15, 2010

An Epic Food Failure

Not to toot my own horn, but I think I am a pretty decent cook.  I am not a chef or real foodie, but I can make a decent meal.  Even when I don't cook from scratch, I tend to be able to throw together something that comes out pretty well.

Tonight, apparently, I failed.  I failed miserably.  Let me state before we go any further, though, that it was not so much what I did, but what I picked.

Since it is Girl Scout night, I need to be able to get my meal ready pretty quickly as Scouts doesn't even end until 5:30, assuming we actually get out of there on time.  So, normally Monday is one of my crock pot days.  For some reason, my brain missed that memo today, and I just forgot all about it.  (I would venture the guess is pregnancy brain already, but who knows.)  The Husband is trying to eat healthy right now, and has requested lots of chicken breasts this week.  So, I thought, chicken breasts, baked potatoes, green beans, and some cottage cheese thrown in for The Big One and I who don't eat meat.  Unfortunately, I needed to hit the store to do this as I am out of potatoes.  I kept trying to get there today, and it never happened.  Just one of those days.  Not a problem if you can grab the potatoes and have them done in about 15 minutes in the microwave.  It is a problem if your microwave suddenly up and dies on you.  That is worthy of a whole post by itself (and probably will get one), but it also means that I have to make the potatoes in the over at about an hour of time instead of 15 minutes.

So, at the last second, I had to choose something else.  I opted for quinoa.  Apparently, my choice was incorrect.  I like quinoa, and it is very healthy.  It is also a complete protein, something very important that I try to get in The Big One now that she is not eating meat.  I knew they would all balk at the idea of something new, so I told them it was special rice.  They didn't buy that either.

The comments I heard tonight were pretty bad.  It seems my family thinks I was trying to poison them.  Not with a nice poison that you can't detect, either, but something horrific that makes you want to lick tree bark.  The Little One started crying the instant I made her put a tiny bite in her mouth.  The Big One acted as though she was going to vomit each time she started to chew the few bites I required she eat in order to continue to be a vegetarian.  The Husband told me he had mistaken it for cardboard, but then told me it might be ok, if I picked a flavor other than "recycled" next time.  It was French Herb.

I liked it.  So, I have it.  I have a medium sized container of it to eat  tomorrow.  I'm thinking a nice cold quinoa salad with some cut tomatoes, cucumber, and a little feta will be great for lunch.  I guess this time I will actually be allowed to eat all of my own food without anyone asking me to share, or just picking up my fork and getting a bite at their own will, too.  I suppose my loss is also my gain.  Ehh...I can only lead the horse to healthy food, I can't make it eat.  I can, though, remember that the horse refuses particular healthy grains, and promise never, ever, to fix them again.

Month Of Thankfulness - 11/15

Today I am thankful for great experiances that being a military wife has given me.  I doubt seriously that I would have seen as much of the world, its wonderful people, and great food [;)] had I not married into this life and I love it all.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Month Of Thankfulness - 11/14

Today I am thankful for really good convenience food.  Gone are the days of old when it was all tv or box dinner junk if you didn't feel like cooking a real meal.  I can go to Costco, get bagged, pre prepped salad, and a really good entre to serve, and spend little to no time in the kitchen when I am too tired to do ti all myself, and I LOVE it.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Its Parenting, Not A Pissing Contest

I am so over the people out there who feel some ridiculous need to show the superiority in the choices they make as parents over the choices other people make. If you feel the need to actually show people how much of a better parent you are, then I have two things to tell you. First, you probably aren't just because of what your actions alone teach your child. Second, Get-over-yourself. Your poop does in fact stink and you actually get dressed in the same one pant leg at a time that every other parent does. The only difference is that you seem to think you do it better where as most of us realize were all just doing the best we can.

You see, as parents, we are all struggling to get through this, and figure this whole thing out one day at a time in our own way. While we may look to each other for support or help, I don't think any of us look to each other to be knocked down a peg or two. Frankly, there are days when I don't think I could afford to be knocked down an inch, let alone a peg or two.

So, let me openly admit that I am not perfect. I do things that may make some of you cringe.
I let my children watch TV. While I generally limit the things they are allowed to watch, I do let them watch. In our house, the tv is often just background noise while we do other things, like arts and crafts, work on writing and the alphabet, or what have you. While I don't care if they watch, I do care about what they watch. It may surprise you to learn that as free wheeling as we are with the remote, I don't let them watch Sponge Bob as I see nothing redeeming in that show what so ever. If they are going to watch, I don't want it to be crap. There are definitely times when I turn it off, or when it is limited, but in general, I don't care if it is on, as long as it is an ok show. If your child never watches tv in their lives, great for you all! I'm glad you are devoted to being your child's sole form of entertainment 24/7 and hope that works out well for you all. I have found it not only to be a sanity saver for myself at times, but by choosing something with an educational benefit, I have seen my child be opened up to many things I would never have thought to teach them.

Yes. I feed my child fast food. They love it. They even appreciate and show their appreciation by using the good manors I have taught them by saying please and thank you for their fast food meals in boxes or bags. I hope your child says please and thank you for whatever it is you serve them. You see, I don't care if you choose to feed your child purely organic, vegan, fruititarian diet, or whatever other thing kind of thing you might think is best. That is all fabulous...for you. If you and your family are happy with your life, then good on you. You should feel the same way for me, and even if you don't, you should fake it. This is how it is supposed to work.

So, having confessed a couple, but surely not all, of the sins you see me commit as a parent, if you would like to leave any comments as to confirm my atrocities, I ask that you please write them all down on paper. Take that paper, and fold it neatly. Then, stick where the sun don't shine. At least then you would have a reason to be grumpy with me.

And the next time you see a parent make a decision that you would never make, be nice. If you absolutely have to comment, say something generic and pleasant like, "that will be nice for them" or simply, "ok, great" or whatever else that you can come up with. If all else fails, just smile and nod. Think about that little piece of paper I mentioned, and where it belongs. Then grin and bear the atrocity before you like the good supportive friend and fellow parent you should be.

Month Of Thankfulness - 11/13

Today, I am thankful for the good times. I am thankful for all the wonderful little moments in life that are full of joy, laughter, and love. They may not be the result of big days out, or anything like that, but those little moments are often the best.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Month Of Thankfulness - 11/12

Man. Doing this everyday is a challenge, but not because I can't think of anything to be thankful for. Actually, I can think of a lot of things I am thankful for every day. It really is interesting to sit and think everyday, and pick just one thing that you are thankful for. Some things that I am thankful for a very little, but matter to me. Some things that I am thankful for are huge. This may turn into a year long challenge for me. We shall see.

Today, I am thankful for the ability to laugh, even when it hurts sometimes. I am thankful that the people I love can laugh with me, and we all see the need for love and laughter even in the darkest of times.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Month Of Thankfulness - 11/11

Today, I am thankful for the freedoms that we have in this nation. Without those who protect our nation, we would not enjoy the lives we lead. I am forever thankful for all those who serve and maintain our freedom, past, present, and future.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Month Of Thankfulness - 11/10

Today, I am thankful thank I get to spend at least one holiday every year with my family. It may not be the most normal Thanksgiving in the world, but I love it.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Month Of Thankfulness - 11/9

Today I am thankful for good friends. I am thankful for all of my friends in general, but I am really thankful for the few fantastic people that I know will be in my life forever, in more than just a facebook way. I love them dearly, and don't know how I would get through life without them.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Know Peace No More

I'm sitting at the computer, in relative peace at the moment. I realize that just typing that will certainly cause a fight to break out momentarily, but until it does, I'm going to sit here, type, think, and sip my sweet tea. It all sounds so good, right, uninterrupted time on the computer and all that.
It isn't exactly quiet, The Girls are in eye shot watching TV and coloring together. So, it is loud, but calm, which is the best I can ask for anymore.

About the same time I realized that we had momentary calm, I simultaneously realized how fleeting it is. The Little One is three and a half now. She can do a lot on her own. She gets to go to the playroom and chill, leaving me to do laundry in my bedroom, or whatever I need to. She can get a drink from the fridge if I let her have a box juice or milk. She can also get her own snack, like a cheese stick, from the fridge. So, I don't have to drop everything for her. I don't have to have my eyes on her constantly, anymore. The Big One is seven, and though she would prefer I still follow her around and wipe her rear, she really is pretty much independent within our home, as much as a seven year old could and should be.
Next year, it will all be gone. While the two I have will only continue to grow up and be more independent, we are going to have a brand new little tiny babe, who can't do anything. I will be back to picking them up, holding them, doing everything, even being their food source, which certainly leaves me chained to the new child. I actually happen to love the baby stage, but I realized today that it is going to be a total shock to my system at this point. Starting all over now will be...weird. I know how it will go, and what to do, but really, its the idea of starting all over again that is startling.

 I'm sure it will all be fine, and I will definitely enjoy the special time together with the new little one, knowing for sure that this will be our last. It will certainly be a major adjustment for everyone.  I think there will be some jealousy, especially from The Little One, who won't be the littlest one anymore, and who is used to having my lap or hand when ever she wants.  She will miss having my total attention during the day, when her sister is at school.  The Big One already knows what it is like to start sharing.  I actually think she will start to flourish, under the even bigger sister role she will get to take on.

Yes, there will be a lot of changes for us. The quiet times will be different, or gone.  The independence gone, but there will be even more love.  In a few years, it will begin to be quiet again, and I'm sure I will miss their need for me.  So, I will just choose to enjoy the dependence while I can, and cherish it for as long as they need me, even if it means no more quiet time for me for quite a while.

Month Of Thankfulness - 11/8

Today I am very thankful that I live in an age where a womyn can be whatever she chooses to be, how ever she chooses to be it. I am thankful that I can both vote and run for office. I am thankful that I can express my opinions anytime, anywhere, no matter what they are. I am thankful for the freedom that many women haven't had, and still don't have elsewhere.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

A Month of Thankfulness

Since November 1st, I have been participating in a month of thankfulness challenge I saw somewhere. I posted this on my moms group discussion board, but I love it so much, I want to carry it over to here.

Every day, I want to post something that I am thankful for. So often, we look at the bad, the negative, and dwell only on that. If, though, we took a month, just 30 days, to think of at least one thing we are thankful for every day, maybe we could change some of our own attitude, and maybe even that of someone else. Why not try to make the world a happier place for one.

So, here are my postings so far, with one more to come each day.

November 1st - I am truly thankful for all of the beautiful laughter I got to share in with my girls at bedtime tonight.

November 2nd - Today, I am very thankful for my mom, who answers the phone cheerfully and lovingly no matter how many times I call in a day.

November 3rd - Today I am thankful for the beautiful weather that allows me to wear a t-shirt instead of a snow suit.

November 4th - Today I am thankful for the relationship my little sister and I have. I love her to death, and I am so thankful that we have finally grown into, and grown up enough to have the beautiful relationship that we have now.

November 5th - Today, I am thankful for really good instant coffee. Just makes my life and attitude a little bit better some mornings. = )

November 6th - Today I am thankful for technology and all it allows us to do, like me help my sister (who lives in Atlanta) find her way when she is out and about and lost. If it weren't for cell phone, my internet connection and google maps, I swear we would have lost her long, long ago.

And finally, today. November 7th - Today, I am thankful for public library systems. That may sound crazy, but reading is a huge part of my life. It is all of my down time right now, and I know that I, like many, certainly couldn't afford to buy everything I read. My girls both love to read, too. We go to the library no less than once a week and always leave with a massive bag of books. So, I am thankful that my girls and I can go get books, participate in reading programs, story times, and enrich our lives, whenever we want. It is a fabulous thing to be able to do all for free, and sometimes, you just don't realize how great it is.

What are you thankful for?

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Oh My, The Questions

The Big One has questions about the new baby to be. Every day. All the time. She even announces it like that, "Mom, I have questions about the baby" so that there is no doubt as to what we will spend the next 15 minutes or more doing.

I think she is really curious, but doesn't know what all to ask. Since I told her that any time she had a questions she could feel free, I also think she feels the need to ask, even when she doesn't know what to say. Hence our 30 minute random sessions of question asking. Believe me, that are random.

Tonight, I got what I think will be my best question, but I will try to make a list of all the good ones she gives me, and update frequently.

Tonight's Q & A started as normal with the announcement, then my giving the go ahead. At that point, she him and haws around for a while, and is asking me about the baby turning out different. I thought at first we were going to have a serious discussion about the possibility of the baby having a disability, or something like that.  I started thinking about all the ways to explain how children are sometimes born different and special.  All the while, she kept asking this series of questions about being different.
Finally, she hit me with the big one, and the closest thing she could to what she really wanted to know.

"What if they baby speaks Spanish instead of English."

That took me a minute.  I had to process it, and come to a realization of what she was asking.

"Are you trying to ask me what if the baby is Hispanic?"


"Well, then your father would have a lot of questions for me."
She didn't bat an eye at that.
I did go on to explain to her how that wasn't possible and just a snippet about how the baby will be made up of Mommy and Daddy's genes.  

This only gets funnier because later on, The Little One told me that maybe this baby will be black. I think she meant it would have black hair, but that isn't what she said. My Husband nearly went into hysterics.

I'm not really sure what my children think of me.  I'm beginning to be worried about the reputation I have in my own house hold.

What I need to do now is find a picture of The Little One at birth to post.  No matter how many people refuse to believe me, I really am of Native American heritage on my Mom's side, and it shows in her family.  In fact, I am enough Native American to claim that legally.  My Dad's side, though, is straight up white bread Irish, and I am only third generation here.  His DNA won out in me, and I look at white as possible.  So, white, that I am nearly translucent and I swear to you that parts of me glow in the dark.  Yet, somehow, some way, when the The Little One was born, she had a head full of black hair.  I think it came from my heritage.  She also had jaundice, and was tinted fairly dark compared to me.  I actually had people look at me and ask if I was sure that was my baby.  Her jaundice went away, and her hair turned red, then went blonde, but that definitely isn't how she was born.

So, if after all those discussions, with both children about what the baby can look like, if the baby really does come out like The Little One, I think my own children might start checking out the UPS Man just to be sure.

Monday, November 1, 2010

She Is Not An Angel

I think I should spend more time relaying the simple, adorable, and often precocious things my children do because like all parents, I like to gloat about how great my kids are.

Last night was Halloween. I'll post more about the holiday and how much candy I now have to hide later. On to the real story of how wonderful my children are.

The Little One was a fairy. The Big One was a caterina; half cat, half ballerina. We actually found that costume.

The Little One was very much in love with being a fairy. She told everyone she was a fairy. Most people got it right away, what with the big pink fairy wings, purple sparkly dress, fairy face paint, and all.
There was, though, one exception.

As we were close to home, and maybe a little tired, we came to a house where an older lady opened the door. I happen to know this woman, as her granddaughter was in The Big One's first Girl Scout Troop. Bless her heart.
Anyway, The Big One is at the door first. She knocks. The door opens. The Nice Lady tells her how cute she is, they do the normal Halloween exchange of "Trick or Treat" and "Thank you"s, and The Big One steps out the way.

The Little One moves up.

The Nice Lady goes nuts for her. She was pretty cute. The Nice Lady kept saying how precious she was, and then she called her an angel. At first I thought she meant she looked angelic. Then said said again, "You are an angel". The Little One got a funny look on her face, but said nothing. She had already said her due "trick or treat" and so she just stood there, pumpkin bucket out, staring at the woman. After another second of gushing, telling her how much of a beautiful angel she was, and still no response from the stone faced Little One, the woman gave her candy.

Then, she got her response.

"Thank you! And I am a fairy!" Then turned with a huff and walked away.
She was no fool. She waited until she had the goods to let the Crazy Lady know she wasn't an angel. Apparently, being called an angel was an affront this this fairy.

She was so upset, the Poor Lady actually apologized to her.

I giggled before telling her to be nice and reprimanding the huff. I told The Nice Lady thank you as well and we were on our way.

Oh, my angelic little fairy.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Looking for Surrogate Grandparents

Today has been difficult, and it isn't even over yet. Though many things are conspiring aginst the day, I realized today that the biggest contributior to my difficult circumstance is that my family is no where near. My husband is out of town. My parents and the rest of my family live states away. So, here I am, alone and pregnant, trying to take care of everything. I need help.

So, I have decided that there is only one way to fix all this. I need some surrogate grandparnets. My own grandparents have all passed away. So, I can't be hurting any feelings by looking for some new ones. I'm definitly not trying to replace the grandparents that the girls have. They are wonderful as they are. I just need someone to be my grandparent again, and take me under their wing sometimes.

Grandparents would be great. I could ask my new grandmother to come over and sit with us, just so I could rest a little today. I could ask my new grandfather to help me figure out what is wrong with my tire because it is getting low. Then, when we found the screw in it, he could told me what we needed to do, explain that it was no big deal, and help me get it fixed, because thats just what a grandpa would do. They would come over and dote on the girls for a while, making them feel extra special, and helping ease their pain from missing their father. My grandmother could spend time with The Girls and I in the kitchen, helping us make holiday cookies and maybe even teach the girls to make biscuits or can. There are so many things that new grandparents could do.

There is a lot we could do for them, as well. I would be glad to take them out shopping or help them run errands. They could get so much love from two little girls who have it in bushels to give out. There would be family dinners that I love to cook. Of course, holidays dinners would be there. The Girls love to draw pictures for people, and would undoubtly be able to cover their fridge. The both like to sing and dance for you, and can be quite entertaining. We could be the grandchildren and great grandchildren they never get to see, or don't have.

I think it would be a great deal for both sides.

So, if you are of grandparent, or great grandparent age, and need a family to love, please consider us. We are really nice. A little loud sometimes. I do like polotics, and can be very opinionated, be that good or bad. I love political debates as well. My husband is in the military, and tell some good tales to match any you might want to share about your own military back ground. The Girls are wonderful, most of the time, and will melt your heart in an instant. Don't forget the baby to be. There isnt anything like a new baby in a family. We hope to find you sometime soon and make all of our lives a little brighter.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

So, Apparently I Have a Crappy Reaction Too

The Big One has been beyond excited about the new baby coming. It has been such a pain to keep her quiet. We didn't want to tell anyone until after we hit 12 weeks. We made the mistake of telling her about 6 days before that. She had the hardest time. The first day after we told her, when she came home from school, I ask her who she told.
Her eyes got big. She couldn't look me directly in the face.

"No one."

"Who did you tell?"

"I didn't tell anyone. They just looked at your stomach and guessed."

"Who did you tell?"

"Well, I only said 'b' and they thought you had a bee on you. So, then I had to tell them no, and they just figured it out."

"Who did you tell?"


And is has been like that every day. Our appointment was on a Thursday. So, on Wednesday, she couldn't take much more. She told everyone, and I mean everyone, that she had a huge family seceret that she couldn't share. That includes telling her teacher. I have since ask her never to tell her teacher that there is a family secret she can't share again.

We go to the appointment, and get to see the baby. We release her from her bond of silence. You would really think that chains had fallen off her.

As soon as we got to school the next morning, she ran to her class and started telling all of her little girl friends. I know she was telling them because one at a time they all looked at my stomach, then smalled and laughed. Some of them told her conratulations, which I found quit funny from one seven year old to another.

Afterschool that day, I ask her who all she told.


"Really? Eveyrone?"

"Well, no. Not everyone. I only told my whole class. I didn't get to tell everyone out of my class yet."

Ahhh....I see.

So it has been everywhere we go, with each friend we see. We had Girl Scouts yesterday. She ask me if she could tell her leader, Ms. Sarah. I told her that was fine. Though we both have a claim to Sarah, I as a friend, and she as an adult in her life, she is way more into telling than I am, obviously.
She ran in, and instantly blurted out the news. Ms. Sarah looked at me and ask if it was true, she does know The Big One pretty well after all. I confirmed it.

We talked about it for a bit, but I admit, I am not excited when I talk about it. I kind of make it sound like no big deal, so much so, that Sarah remarked on my lack of exuberance. Apparently, I am the one who isn't reacting well for other people.

It isn't that I don't care, or that I am not excited. I am. This, though, is our third child, and I don't feel like running up to everyone I know and telling them that we are expecting. I don't want my every conversation to be about the baby. That's what first time moms do. I'm not there anymore. This baby is a whole new chapter in our lives, and one that I am happy about for sure, though. I look forward to meeting it, and loving this brand new little person who will change our lives in so many wonderful ways. I look forward to new experiences, and experiences that will be new all over again.

I guess I just need to work on my own facial expressions and things. Maybe its the fact that no one I love has really been happy for us, and it is starting to affect my own outlook. Maybe once I'm not so tired and nauseous that I want to spend the entire day in bed, I can muster up the energy for a better reaction myself. I'm not sure, but I promise to work on it. After all, I can't expect the world to be happy for us, if they don't think I am happy for us.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Thanks For All the Crappy Reactions

Today was kind of a big day. My husband is getting ready to leave for a little while. So, we took this as the last chance to tell our families that we were expecting.
We always try to think of something clever to do. This is, after all, not our first rodeo when it comes to telling them news like this.

I suggested a simple approach. Send them a picture/text message of the last sonnagram, and say nothing else. So, we did, and we waited.

I think as a whole, everyone was pretty much confused. They had no idea what the picture was, or whose it was. My Mother in Law even went so far as to ask whose baby it was. That could have gone a few different ways, but, ehh.

To be honest, they were all shocked. Completly shocked. I can't say I totally blame them. This is really pretty unexpected, and we knew that if we decided to have any more it would be difficult, with serious potential complications. They all knew that, too. So, the idea of adding any more to our family was just gone. So, again, I get the shock. However, that doesn't mean it isn't a good thing, or something to be celebrated.

I think only My Sister gave us a decdent reaction. She was excited. My mother pretty much failed to comment. My brother didn't even talk to me, only his wife did.
I mean, those I love the most pretty much left us hanging, and I have to tell you it hurts a little. Maybe even more than a little. I want happy, not happy/concerned.

I hope that people come around in time. I hope they all eventually get happy for us. For now, I feel nearly alone in all of this. What a way to start out.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Where's the Pee?

**warning**  This post is about bodily functions, and may well gross or freak some of you out.

Last night, I had the hands down, weirded pregnancy related thing happen to me ever.

I couldn't pee.

I woke up at 3:30am, because that is just what happens when you are pregnant, and had to pee, badly. I went into the bathroom, sat, and couldn't pee. At all.  I just sat there, and the need to pee kept growing.

It was very uncomfortable, to say the least.

After 15 minutes of trying to pee, I got up, and got My Husband.  Something was definitely wrong down there.

He ask if I needed to go the ER.  I wanted to wait a bit, but I really needed to go pee and it was getting worse!

I walked around for a while.  After a little walking, I tried again, and finally, trying hard to pee, I got a little, tiny, trickle out.

That was not what I needed to do.  I needed to pee like a race horse, but I could only get it out a drop at a time.  After like 45 minutes, the need was gone.  I got it all out, and it started coming  little faster as I sat, but it took nearly 24 hours for me to start peeing normally.

I have since ask my OB, and she said it can happen.  The urethra can sometimes kink.  It is actually very serious.  If I were unable to make myself pee, I would have had to go into the ER so that they could drain in, in order to keep it from bursting!! She said the walking was good, and that a hot bath works sometimes as well.

I'm pretty sure this is one of the top 10 freaky pregnancy things ever.  I think it needs to be added into the course information for every sex education class taught.  If we just tell teen girls that they may have to go in and have their bladders drained, along with every freaky, nasty thing else that can happen, I swear we can cut the teen pregnancy rate in half.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Fundraising Hell

It is the beginning of the school year, just over a month in, and already we are in fundraising hell. I don't understand it. We just got hit with our 4th fundraiser of the year. Yes. Four already. The first was a "sell them junk" fundraiser for the PTA, which I hate. Normally we try to sell. This year, we really didn't. I would rather write the PTA a check for $50 and be done with it. When I have that $50 laying around, I will. Oh, wait, I already wrote them a check for $50 when I joined the PTA. (Ten dollars for dues to cover two adults then a donation) So, I suppose I am covered there.

Next, came our first of two Girl Scout fundraisers for the year. In the fall, we sell nuts. No seriously. I swear we sell nuts too. Then, in the spring come the famous cookies. That one isn't so hard because people want the cookies. People don't so much want the crap or the nuts. Nuts definitely did better than crap, though, as we actually sold some.

After that the school started selling "Spooky Grams". It is a very peer pressure driven way of raising money for the fall festival at the school. You can buy your child a little Halloween themed sucker or cookie with a note stating who it is from. Your child can also buy them for other friends. Do you see the peer pressure coming at us from both the children and the adult peers? You have to buy at least one. You don't want your child to be the only one who doesn't get one. So far, we have bought three, and I expect another two minimum before it is over. Hey, peer pressure works.

Today, we received a flyer about a night out to eat to raise money for the PTA again. It is a set price pizza buffet that isn't that cheap. Again, this one has the peer pressure. Who is going? Who isn't going? Will my friends be there? Will I be left out?
I'm not sure if the peer pressure will overrule the wallet this time, but it very well might.

I know this is all to raise money for good things, but you have to give parents a break. We can't do this all at once. We need some space in there, and I don't just mean the space left in our wallet and empty bank accounts. Not only do we need the space, but we can't keep hammering people we know to buy stuff they really don't want to buy, but feel like they have to. I mean, who really buys that wrapping paper because they can't find any better or cheaper anywhere? You buy it because at least you won't have to throw it away, and you it won't give you zits or make you gain five pounds. Maybe you just buy the stuff that will make you gain five pounds because at least you can eat it. Either way, it is all stuff you can really live without.

So, please, high up people who run organizations, the PTA and Scout people, give us a little time. Space a few things out for you. Even though someone will have to bite the bullet and not get money right away, you might end up making more in the long run just by sharing your space a bit more. I'm over this fundraising hell, and would like to find a way just to help out, with out the burning sensation in my wallet.

Biker Santa Says My Children Are Good And I Have Proof

I had one of the weirdest and yet somehow coolest, experiences ever today. What I am about to tell you is totally true, and I swear I am of sound mind.

Today, we were stopped by Santa, (Yes I know it is a little early for Christmas references, but I couldn't help this one.) and he told my children they were being good, and actually gave them something for proof.

Today was an errand day. One of those totally fantastic days that everyone who has to take children around with them loves.

My day was made even better by the fact that The Little One was in rare form. She started off today by picking quite a snazzy outfit. There were black sparkling leggings, a pink t-shirt with a skull, bow, and rhinestones on it, a sparkling headband, and to top it all off, her princess shoulder bag, which she insisted on as it her as it had her "two monies" in it and she might need to buy something. What you can get with 6 cents, I don't know, but I wasn't going to argue today.
Not only was she dressed to the nines, but her attitude matched. She thought she was cute stuff. Granted, she was, and is.

As a final errand, we had to run by the bank. As we walk in, The Little One strutting her stuff, bag on shoulder, I notice an older biker style gentleman with a long white beard, and black leather vest watching her. The older man was trying not to laugh. You could tell he thought she was cute.

We get in line, because there is always a line at my bank, and wait. The Biker gentleman walks up to us and stops. He looks at me and says "Seems like they have been pretty good."
I just nod and agree, because when someone tells you that your kids are being well behaved, you just agree.
Then he looks at the girls and says "I think you all have been very good, and I want to give you something." He pulls these cute and cheesy little coins out that say "you have been caught being good" on them. He tell them what the coins say, and gives them each one. They thank him, and he gets in line a few people back from us.

Then, he calls me "Mom" and gets my attention. He starts making small talk about The Little One. He ask if she was independent, which I replied in the affirmative rather quickly. Apparently his youngest granddaughter is the same.

"She must be a hand full too, then", I said back.
He smiled. He said his granddaughter was quite precocious. I again replied that I totally understood.

I turned around to talk to The Big One, who had been trying to get my attention. She leans in, and whispers to me.
"Do you know that man?".

I told her no.

"Don't you know you aren't supposed to talk to strangers?"

I tried not to laugh. I explained that it was ok and why.

The biker gentleman gets my attention with another "Mom".

Then, he tells me the strangest thing. "Weekends in December at Seaport Village".

I probably looked as dumbfound as I felt because I had no idea what he was talking about. Seaport Village is a great little touristy area that does a lot of neat things for kids, but I wasn't sure what he was getting at.

Until he tugged his white beard.

Holy crap I had been talking to Santa. I even said that Santa's granddaughter must be a handful. I hope that didn't put me on the naughty list, because according to The Man himself, my girls are pretty good. He even gave them proof.

Right about then it was our turn. I wished him a good day and we went on about our business.

Later on, when retelling the story to her dad, The Big One had the epiphany as well. Her eyes got big, and you could actually see the light bulb go off above her.
"What if that was the real Santa?"
We told her it might have been good, and reminded her he knows if she is being good or bad, and is always watching. I think this one may leave a lasting impression on her. Well, lasting the next 2 months approximately, anyway.

No matter what, as soon as they start to forget about those coins, I plan on hiding them away somewhere. When they are older I will tell them the story about Santa stopping them in the bank, telling them they were being good, and give them their coins back. They can pass that on to their own children and grandchildren if they want.

I love a good Santa story for the generations.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

So Many Wives, So Little Time

I will be honest, much like ashamedly admitting I used to watch Flavor Of Love, I have to tell you that I have started watching Sister Wives. Somehow, I think the two are about in the same category.
I'm not sure why I watch. Perhaps I am trying to figure this whole thing out, but honestly, it just kind of makes for a good train wreck.

There are somethings that really bother me. It made my skin crawl when the father, Kody, sat right there as wife number something or other told him she felt like she was losing her best friend because he wanted to bring in another wife. He admitted that he was causing his existing wives pain, but went ahead with everything anyway.

Now I'm pretty sure that doing things you know would hurt the ones you supposedly love does not make for being a good husband. Not only that, but isn't three enough? Does he need a different bedroom for every night of the week? And gross, while we are on that subject. Who washes all those sheets. Ick. I'll stop there.

With all the publicity they have been getting, I have actually given this whole thing a lot of thought. I have been able to find a few positives in their relationship quagmire, though that surprised me.

It hit me, that if you have really low self esteem, this is the perfect relationship for you. He will never leave you. He may add another wife if he gets tired of you, but you will always be there, sharing a bed at least occasionally as his duty requires.

Built in babysitters. Now, that makes even me consider this. Part of this whole "Sister Wife" concept is that you are one big family, and you help take care of each other's children, who are all brothers and sisters anyway. So, if I need to go out, if I just need to get away, I could just go. That sounds too fabulous to be true. Of course, it really is, because it all comes back to the catch, sharing Daddy. And I'm just not down with that.

While there may be some positives, when I think about it, I always end up with way more cons than pros. This isn't for me. Ever. There are just too many things I don't think I could agree with.

What if I really, really wanted some "quality time" and it wasn't my night? Do I just have to wait? No thank you. I think that is something that comes with the ring. When you are single and alone, you have to plan for sex. Not when you are married. Well, maybe a little when you have small children and you have to work around them and getting them in bed, but otherwise, really, it should be pretty much available when both partners are interested in the least.

Nor do I think I could handle all those kids in one house. It would drive me beyond batty. My mom is one of twelve children. Let me hit you with that again just so you can believe it. My mom is 1 of 12 children, and no they aren't Mormon. I have seen her family. I know how crazy you end up when you have a house full of siblings. My mom was lucky enough to be one of the oldest and escape the asylum at a young age.

Not only that, but when it comes right down to it, I really believe in the old adage "What's good for the goose is good for the gander", a simple statement of equality. This show is the exact opposite of that. No matter what else I have a problem with, that is a deal breaker right there.

Maybe this lifestyle really works for them. Maybe some of the wives were raised that way, and just don't know another way of life. I suppose as long as no one is really being abused or hurt, then whatever they want is peachy keen with me. As long as I'm not the one missing out when I want my snuggle time, more power to them, and their really big, combined family.

Friday, October 1, 2010

I Need Bubbles

This morning, I think I am going to start looking for bubbles.
Not the kind you blow. We have tons of that stuff around.
Not from champagne, or any other drink, either. We don't need that right now.
Certainly not the old chimp from Micheal Jackson days.

No. I want big plastic bubbles. The kind you can put your kids in to keep them away from germs and everything else. I need 4 of them. Two in adult sizes and two in a child size, please.

I'm not really sure what else to do at this point. We wash hands. We carry anti-bacterial hand sanitizer, and use it. I do my best to keep everyone healthy, but apparently it just isn't working.

I know kids are walking, talking germ factories and/or magnets, but this far, this season has been ridiculous. We have had at least 2 bouts of strep throat, some colds, and maybe a little scarlet fever thrown in for good mix. Apparently, whatever comes rolling their way, they catch. This isn't good.

It has been so bad, I am actually considering flu shots for the whole family this year, and we never get flu shots. I actually think they are a little creepy. Vaccines in general creep me out, not because of all the war about whether or not they cause autism and all that, but because the idea of shooting a dead version of the actual virus you are trying to avoid straight into your body just seems really off to me. While I really do get the science behind it, the cave womyn in me says "Virus no good. Me no get." and doesn't want to get near it. Not to mention the fact that I hate needles with a passion.

Actually, hate is the wrong word. I am terrified of the little things. I think it stems from having bad veins. I don't know, but lets just say my mother has never worried about me having any tattoos. Though, I did get some piercings, but that is a whole different story.

Anyway, I'll be looking for those bubbles, and some other way to keep them germ free. In the mean time, if you see a red headed mom at a park with one of those SARS masks on, and a little blond running around with one on too, don't freak out. It's just us, sick and tired of being sick.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Little Things Matter Sometimes

A piece of advice that may save your life, and mouths, some day.

Always check, and double check labels before you use something.

You may think you have the right product. If you didn't read the label though, you never know.

Why, you ask, is this so important.

One of those is chili powder. One of those is cayenne pepper. There is quite a difference between the two.

I only realized that the containers look different after I tasted the chili currently in my crock pot. It is a little spicy. Actually, a lot.

I'm not sure how much The Girls will like tonight's supper. We may be utilizing that buy one get one free kid's meal coupon I have for McDs. I think the grown ups will be able to eat it, though. If there is a bright side, on top of the label checking lesson, I can't breath well right now, and this may well take care of that tonight. Hey, I'll take what ever bright side I can get.

Monday, September 27, 2010

I Think Some People Need to Move Off The Street

Two posts about one subject. Something must have really pissed me off.
Oh, wait, it did.

I just posted about Katy Perry and her wardrobe choice on Sesame Street. This morning, I got to see the video of the producers on CBS Early talking about the whole affair. (Sorry I can't embed it. You just have to click through. Trust me you want to.)

While I was miffed, more because I like the video and some poor choices made it not appropriate, now I am actually pissed.

I can't believe the producer actually had to gall to make some of the statements she did. What I took away from that video was this:

1. The Producers of the show do not see any merit in the notion that Katy Perry's outfit was really inappropriate.

2. They were only reacting to a strong parental disapproval then they pulled it, not because they actually agreed.

3. The producers need to reevaluate what they view as appropriate, because until they can actually see where the fault in something like this lies, it may happen again, and parents will have to continually watch what they are putting out for problems, not because we want to sit down and watch it with our children. This is actually going to cause parents to stop watching it or letting their children do so, the exact opposite of what they were trying to accomplish. If these producers are incapable of seeing this, perhaps they need to be replaced.

4. If their goal was to make more stay at home dads sit down and watch with kids, they surely will have succeeded. Come for the boobies, stay for the skits (thanks SNL for that one). In the mean time, congratulations on pissing the rest of us off.

5. It has to suck to be the person playing Elmo sometimes. I can't imagine always responding like an innocent 3 year old, when you really want to say things like "Elmo nearly got a black eye during that play date, but I want to do it again." Or better yet "Would Mr. Harry please just shut the f**** up and move on?"

In summation, I think the producers need to take a nice long look at what values are appropriate for their show, and hopefully come to some better conclusions so that we can all go back to loving the show and everything it puts out.

We may all go back to regularly scheduled, non Katy Perry boob filled programing now, thankfully.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Cheap Is as Cheap Does

I admit it. I am cheap. I don't know any other way to be. I love a good deal. Sometimes, a great deal is better than chocolate. It may even, on rare occasions, be better than "relations". I'm just saying, I am cheap.

I think I may have done my cheapest thing ever.

The keyboard of our computer is old. I think most people would have replaced it at this point. Not because it doesn't work. Quite the contrary, it works just fine. The problem is, there are no letters. Do you have any idea how confusing that is for a 7 year old? Actually, unless you know your and placement very well, it difficult for anyone.

I know I could go get a new keyboard equivelient to this one for like $10. I am aware.
I just don't see the reason.

I tried to make everyone use it as is for a while, but it became an issue for The Big One, and was starting to hold her back from being a little mroe independant online. Not sure if that is good or bad, but she just couldn't log onto Webkinz by herself. That was a probelm.

So, I solved it.

Yes. I before you ask, I really did do it.

I got a sharpie, and I wrote the letters back on. Problems solved. It may look all jacked up, but she can use it, and thats all that matters.

I would show you a picture, but then I would have to clean it first. A messed up looking keyboard is one thing, but a dirty one is another.

I'll go get a new keyboard eventually. It just isn't high on the list right now.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Put Them Away, Katy. Just Put Them Away.

Katy Perry is embroiled in controversy. This time, it's all about her girls and Elmo.

Katy made a guest appearance on Sesame Street to sing with Elmo. The problem is, that her girls made as much of an appearance as she did. You can check out the video to see for yourself, but even with a still shot, I'm sure you will get the jiggly point.

I like it when stars make appearances on Sesame Street. Some of them are cute. I thought Norah Jones was super cute singing with Elmo. Wyclef Jean and Cookie Monster singing about healthy food was fantastic. The list of great guest appearances goes on and on.

The thing is, no matter how controversial or edgy a star may be, when you go on Sesame Street, you need to play to the appropriate audience.
Colin Farrell appeared with Elmo, and not once did I see him drop a F-bomb, drink something, or have sex with some random woman walking down Sesame Street. He was, though, still a bit scruffy and straight up sexy. So it is very possible for stars, even those with massive reputations, to be great for the show and still be cool. Katy, could have stayed true to her own fashion, and worn a different style outfit as she is known for, as long as she covered up the boobage area.

I don't have any idea how that outfit made it out of her dressing room. I really don't understand how it made it onto a final cut for the show. At some point, someone should have stopped her, and suggested that her boobs were a bit much for running around with Elmo, because they are. Someone should have gently suggested that she change to a "Dress up outfit" a little more appropriate. If nothing else, when she walked on camera, no one should have yelled action until she was totally ready to go. They should have been yelling for wardrobe instead.

Our children are already bombarded with overly sexual images on a daily basis. Sesame Street should be safe from this, and something that parents should be able to feel confident about letting our children watch without worry, especially worry of wardrobe malfunctions.

I am disappointed in the entire production staff of Sesame Street for letting this slip in. I think her performance was great. She had great facial expressions, and I bet she is great with kids. Then again, when you take note of who she is marrying, you would think she would have to be. Had it not been for the outfit, she really would have made it to my top favorite guest star list. Now, it can't even be aired.

So, Katy, please, visit Sesame Street again some time. Do another song. Just, please, wear something that leaves the girls out of the picture So we can focus on how cute you and Elmo are together.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Happy Pregnant People Are From Mars

The other day, I was talking to another mom about how many people we know that have been surrogates. I think being a surrogate is a wonderful, beautiful thing. Women who are willing to put themselves and their bodies through all that for someone else are doing such an incredible thing.

They are also off their freakin' rockers.

They must be.

Ok. That was (mostly) a joke, but I can tell you I won't be one of those glorious pregnant woman sitting on a lily pad somewhere worshiping their own round figure and loving every moment of being with child. No. No thank you. Not even for all the money in the world. Maybe, and I mean only maybe, if it was for my own sister and she needed it desperately, but even that would take some convincing.

I hated being pregnant. Hated it. Each time. It's like having the flu, with all the nausea, aches, and pains, and having your body invaded by an alien, at the same time. For those that have never been pregnant, if you saw Aliens, and how those things burst out of people's stomachs, it really isn't much different.

Being pregnant was actually one of the most horrible things I have gone through. It is painful, and I don't mean the delivery, which certainly is as well, but the pregnancy itself can be excruciating. With one of The Girls, my hips seemed to be spreading to wide, too quickly. So, picking up my legs more than an inch was so painful, it nearly made me cry. I couldn't even get into the bathtub each night without a break down. My back ached constantly. It hurt to stand for too long. It hurt to sit for too long. It just hurt. You get sudden, terrible pains in your va-jay-jay, and that isn't pretty. I haven't even started on the three months of constantly feeling like your going to vomit in the beginning.

No, it isn't fun. It isn't glorious. Not for me, anyway. It just stinks.

I'm not trying to say that I regret being pregnant, or having children. Not in the least. I love The Girls, and I am so thankful for them. That doesn't mean I had to love the process. No. It just means I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt, stretch marks, scars, and saggy boobs to prove it, and I don't need to do it again. Actually, I didn't even get a t-shirt, which was the best thing in that list. That, and I don't know what would happen to my boobs if I did it again. I can't imagine how much more damage could be done to them, and I don't want to think about it. That might give even me nightmares of walking around with flap jacks tied to my waist.

So, if you love being pregnant, consider yourself lucky.

I am not that lucky.

And, if you are a mom of a pre-teen or teenager, feel free to let them read this word for word, confirm for them everything I stated, then make it sound even worse with your own experiences. Hey, we moms need to stick together,and keep our own children from going through this for as long as possible.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

And The Sign Said "People with children need not school"

Tonight was Back To School Night, aka Open House, at The Big One's school.

We didn't go because at the last minute, we were un invited.

Rude, huh.

I love Back To School night. I love talking to the teacher, checking out the classroom, all of it. I love being a part of her day to day experience, in any way I can. I try to be involved at school as much as I possibly can.

Then, today, I was told I wasn't wanted.

Well, only because I have children. The event was deemed adults only. Unfortunately, I have no one else to care for my children tonight, especially not when they notify you last minute. The first I heard that this was adults only was yesterday, when The Big One came home. She said something about it, but it sounded more like a request, understandable, and believe me, if it were easy and free for me to get a sitter at the drop of a hat, or if MimMim (grandma) lived here, I wouldn't take them anywhere I didn't need to, especially not when I wanted to talk to my child's teacher about that child. Shew. That would be great. Unfortunately, that isn't our reality. Our reality is that we are often a one parent household by way of the U.S. Navy, and definitely don't have the budget for an on call nanny. So, where I go, they go. I guess the school decided that wasn't ok with them.

I have a few issues with all of this. Just a few.

1) We are in a predominantly military area. This means many of the families that attend this school, like us, have no family, and no one to call on in a pinch that would be free. So, we are excluded from all adults only activities.

2) The notice was totally unacceptable. We got a phone call, followed immediately by a email carbon copy of the phone message, only this morning, after school had started. While it may have been difficult, had someone made this very clear the first day of school, which I grant you was just about a week ago, I could have called around to friends and begged for a little help. Someone, with some notice, would have been able to help me, but telling after the school day has started to suddenly change my plans is so unrealistic, I can't believe anyone who has ever been a parent would have done this.

3) The worst part of all it, and there are other arguments that could be made as to why having open house be adults only is wrong, is that we are a Title 1 school. Being a Title 1 school means that you have been recognized as having a large portion of your student population who belong to economically disadvantaged families. The schools are setup with extra funding and specific guidelines to assist these families in breaking down the barriers to those children's success. One of the greatest barriers to a child's success in school is a lack of parental involvement, and Title 1 schools are specifically supposed to combat that. In fact, they are required to have in place a plan on how they intend to improve communication between the school and parents. It would seem to me, that what this school did goes against everything that being a Title 1 school is supposed to be about. They, in fact, put up a specific barrier between the school and parents tonight.

The school could have done something that many other schools do; offer on site child care for those that had to bring their children. However, when I called to inquire as to why I was dis invited today, the front office staff told me that they had no place for childcare. I suppose that very large multipurpose room where were initially supposed to gather, then separate to our individual classes, wouldn't contain all the children that would be left behind? Wait. That doesn't make any sense. So, someone, somewhere, just dropped the ball, and upset parents. At the very least, I am upset.

I know for sure that there are parents who will be bringing children with them. I know there will be rule breakers. I am just not one of those parents. I might have feigned ignorance of this ridiculous demand, especially since it was sent so late I could have actually missed it, but I got called out earlier. My husband, trying to help out, and find out as much as he could, went to the teacher to ask what I should do, as the teacher and I had planned to discuss my assisting him with something right away tonight. The teacher ask that I meet with him tomorrow. So, I just couldn't go against his wishes.

While I am very upset, heartbroken truthfully, I will handle it the any adult will. I will make a huge fuss, stomp my foot a lot, and then be sure things are changed for the better. Hurting my daughter, though, is crossing the line. She was very excited for me to see her classroom, and so on. She said she cleaned her desk really hard today. She was totally heartbroken to see me so upset.

I will talk to the principal, and make sure they try to fix all of this before the next open house, because we just can't have The Big One hurt again, and she shouldn't be by a silly policy like this.