I'm Third Fiddle

My mom is in visiting. I love her. I really do. I am ever thankful that she is here, helping out, and doing what she can to make my life easier. Mainly, she is taking care of the girls, which is honestly all that I want or need. She pretty much takes over with the girls the moment she gets in. In fact, I kind of get pushed out the door.

Once my mom, or Mim Mim as she is known around here, gets in, the Big One instantly asks me when I am leaving so that Mim can baby sit. They don't even play like they need me or miss me.

The Big One wants only my mom to take her to school, which actually meant that I had to load everyone up, drop them both at the designated area, circle around while mom walks her into the school and to class, and finally come back for mom. As long as she feels like Mim is taking her, that is ok, though.

Mim takes them to the park with out me. She stops the ice cream truck, something I never do, to make sure they get a treat.

In fact, though she is my mom, I can tell you that she really doesn't even come to see me. No. I am welcome to go where ever I like, when ever I like, and she will be here with the kids. That is the way she likes it. We spend some time together, but it isn't a lot. I don't really mind playing third fiddle anymore. I don't know if I ever did. I appreciate her help so much, that I am willing to give up first and second chairs, and skooch on over to the third, as a trade off for a little peace and quiet. Really, I am just so thankful that they both love my mom, and value her. I am also thankful that they get the benefit of all of her wisdom and experience. I hope that she imparts a little of herself into both of them each and every time she is with them. If that means I take the backseat, so be it. It is more roomy back there anyway.

Pancakes at Our House

We have a few loose family traditions going on over this way. Two of them revolve around food and both happen to be on Sunday.
Every Sunday night is pizza and game night. With my husband deployed that has morphed into pizza and a movie night because I just can't play Princess Monopoly with a 5 year old and a 2 year old by myself. It doesn't start or end well. Once my husband gets back, we will go back to pizza and a game night, which we all enjoy.

The other Sunday food thing is that each Sunday morning, I make pancakes. I make a pretty good sized batch, so that I have some for at least one other day, like Tuesday morning, already made.

The Big One loves pancakes now. Loves them. And I love that she loves them so much. So, we get into pancakes around here. Usually, I make different shapes for them. The staple of our pancake shapes are hearts and stars. I have however branched out on occasion. I have made a rocket. We do roses every now and then, and of course there are seasonal pumpkins.




Today, though, I made my first butterfly. I was a little worried that it wouldn't even resemble a butterfly, but it turned out ok. It wasn't great, though. So, I tried again, and the second one looks pretty good. Good enough that you can tell what it is. If i hadn't let it get a little over done, it would have been awesome! I even put some colored sugar crystals into the batter, to give it a little color and spots, and make it a little more butterfly ish. The Big One loved them, and was absolutely tickled with her butterfly.



The Little One, well, she really isn't a big pancake person. She did down a banana, and some of my eggs with chipotle salsa, though. Maybe one day, she will get into pancakes, but probably only if I make one shaped like a steak.

Yesterday vs. Today

Yesterday, my oldest looked like a young version of California Skipper.

Skipper is of course Barbie's little sister.

My Big One is tall and very thin. She has super duper blond hair that is very long. I pulled the top half of her hair up and braided it, and left the rest down. I put her in a hot pink gauzy top with a cute little jean skirt. She is really tan from all the time outside she has been getting. The hot pink really set off that tan. So, between the outfit, the hair, the tan, and everything, she really made me think of California Skipper.

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Today, she looks like something from where the wild things are.

We ended up running a little behind today for several reasons. She got a cough last night and was up all night. So, I tried to let her sleep a little more, but she is still tired. Then, I had a cute outfit picked out for her, but, as we were about to put shoes on, I realized that her pants had a big hole in the knee! So, I had to run and grab her new pants. Now, the shirt and pants don't exactly go together, but it was the best I could do in a flash. I ended up with not enough time to redo her hair from yesterday. So, I just took it down, brushed it, and put a head band (that didn't go with anything she was wearing, but happened to be the most neutral one I could find) in her hair. She has this wild frizzy crimped looking hair sort of floating all around her now. Then, she kept messing with her head band, and pulling on the hair in front of it, so small sections would get pulled up and out, sort of hornish. It was hilarious.


Seriously, the difference between yesterday and today is amazing, but I happen to think she is beautiful both ways.

Another San Diego Special

When we first moved to San Diego, I have to be honest, I hated it. From the depths of my soul, I found it to be the most foul place we had ever lived.

This city is huge and impersonal. The people are impersonal. You have to really learn your way around. I had never been on the west coast, and to me, the water was east. So, I would get lost all the time. I used to cry nearly everyday that my husband went to work, because I was home, and alone with my little girl. I was really miserable.
At some point, I realized that I needed to change things for myself. I got involved with local mom's groups, and finally found one that I loved (I actually started running it. Why wouldn't I love it. lol) Anyway, though being a part of a group like mine, I started to explore San Diego, with other moms, and found it has so much to offer, if you choose to see it.

Today was a great example of what San Diego has to offer. I took my little one to Sea World for the first time. I used to take the big one all the time, when I first found the mom's group. We bought a pass, and we would go a couple of times a month. I finally got back into that with the little one, and I am so thankful. She had a blast. Since we live here, we went for just a few hours. It wasn't like I had to fit everything in today because we were on vacation, or anything like that. No, we went and played for a while in Elmo's Bay of Play. WE even rode one of the rides for little kids. Then, we went to watch some dolphins. After we saw them flip for a bit, we headed over to see the Shamu show. I think the little one is now in love with Shamu. She kept hugging herself and rocking like she was rocking a baby. She wanted to hold and pet Shamu. It was adorable. She was really riveted most of the show. When the show was over, we checked out some sharks in their super cool shark enclosure, and went home. We only saw one show, and didn't even see a third of the exhibits, but it is totally ok. We can go back anytime we want!
With a silver passport, I get free parking, and we don't eat lunch in the park. So, we spend no extra money. Totally cool! We can just hop on over anytime we want, because we happen to live in a city that has so many cool things like this for families to do.

Now, I love it here. Once I get my older one settled into a better school, I will be even happier. I only wish I had started exploring the city and all it has to offer even sooner.

You'll get yours, My Pretty

Today has been one of those days where you just feel the need to survive the day. You don't necessarily aim for it to be a great day, but you just want to get through it, with no casualties.

After going to sleep way too late last night, and fighting with the little one until she went to sleep at nearly 11pm, I was awoken by the same little one, way too early. She wanted me to wake up and read to her. I wanted to roll over and snore. I will let you guess who won, but since I am incredibly grumpy, you probably don't have to guess hard.

Anyway, we were nearly out of diapers, both reg diapies as the little one calls normal diapers, and Dora pull ups that we use for potty training. So, we had to venture out this morning.

First, we hit Wal-Mart. That place is designed to make you crankier anymore, let alone with kids. Of course, both of my kids were just as cranky as I am, and both decided to show off their bad behaviour in various ways. I think the big one must have ask me for everything in that place. She wanted it all. She kept touching it all. I would have put her in the cart, but it was too full of apple juice (the cheapest place to get it), diapers, and all the other junk that somehow just hops into your buggy while you are there.
The little one ask for a snack, which was great. It kept her occupied until nearly the end of our time there.
We finally get to the front, and of course, there are three registers open, and massive lines. After minutes of more grabbing and begging and yelling, we finally paid and left the building.

Somehow, I think the feeling that I get when I leave Wal-Mart with two kids in tow on a on busy day, is much like the feeling that a prisoner gets upon being released from county jail.

But I digress.

Then, we had to put everything in the car, buckle up, and head over to Von's for a tiny bit of grocery shopping.

By the grace of God, there was one of those car shopping carts for kids. So, both girls went in this time. Well, I thought it was the grace of God, until I realized that this one had no seat belts. Then, I realized it was really more like a trick of Puck, then the grace of any god. We took the cart anyway, lest there be a full on mutiny. I don't know if things would have been better or worse with a regular cart, and I don't want to speculate now, but I do know next time, if there are no seat belts, we won't be taking it.

For at least the first two minutes, the car occupied them. They were playing some sort of competitive plastic horn honking contest. Not sure who won, but it was very loud, and very serious. That's all I really got.

The little one started standing up, sticking her head through where the windshield should have been. The big one kept leaning out, and her long, long blond hair kept brushing the ground.

They continued to fight. It only got louder. At some point, the big one started beeping, and it actually angered the little one, who started yelling no. I tried to get them both to stop. Threats worked momentarily, but each one seemed to fade quickly, until another one was issued.

Finally, we were nearly done. Well, I was done long, long ago, but we were almost finished with our shopping. I headed through the frozen foods to get a frozen pizza. After we finally got one picked out, and were headed toward the front, I saw her.

At the head of the isle stood a very pretty, young woman. I would guess she was about 23 or 24. She had her long hair done perfectly. It had blond highlights on top with brown low lights under. She had side swept bangs with a wide head band just behind them. The hair behind the head band was teased a little for volume. It took some time to get all that done this morning, I am sure. She was wearing the most adorable little mini swing jacket and carrying a nice purse. All in all, she looked like every young successful person I see anymore; well put together and unfrazzeled. She stirred in me some distant memory of myself, when I had to put on make up to even go grocery shopping, because you never knew what man you might see, or what man might see you.

As we got past her, the little one started yelling "No" repeatedly, objecting to something her sister was doing. They were being loud, and wild, and kids.

She looked at the little one, well, at both of them.

Then, she laughed.

I was stressed beyond belief, just trying to get out of there, and she laughs. Now, miss "I am perfect right now" may have actually thought my kids were cute. Or she may have looked at me, all disheveled with a vein nearly popping out of my head, or who knows what, but it really didn't matter what caused it. The absolutely last thing that I needed or wanted right at that moment was a cute 23 year old looking my way and laughing, for any reason. It just breaks you down that much farther.

What I needed was a knowing, and I wish I could help, kind of look from another mom who felt for me. Maybe even a hug, but not a laugh.

Somehow, I managed to get out of there with everyone unscathed physically, after grabbing the little one's shoes, which the bagger nicely pointed out that she had taken off and laid in the floor next to our shopping cart. Though, mentally and emotionally, I had taken a beating.

I kept thinking about that young woman, and how her reaction, even if it were completely innocent, affected me right at that moment.

Now, I certainly don't wish this little chic-a-dee ill will. However, ten or so years from now, when she is in the same situation, walking through a grocery store with kids that have traipsed on every nerve she has, when her hair, or her figure, aren't so perfect anymore, and she is well past her wits end, just functioning on survival mode, I doubt her brain will work well enough to bring back this memory for her, but somehow, someway, the karmic threads of life will be balanced just a little bit more.

On this Memorial Day

I don't tend to delve into copied and forwarded Internet fodder. However, my loving husband sent me something that is anything but simple Internet fodder.
It is beautiful, poignant and well worth sharing to everyone I know, and even those I don't.

So, on this Memorial Day, please, take a moment to read this, and even read it to your children, as he ask me to read it to ours.

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The Commissioning of PCU New York will take place on November 7th, 2009 at the Intrepid Museum Pier 88 South, Pier 86 North New York City, NY, 10036, USA.

Finally, some of what we lost returns, The USS New York, LPD-21, will parade into New York Harbor on Monday, November 2nd of 2009 for what will undoubtedly be the Commissioning event of the century. No other ship in world history carries the same sentiment and import this ship possesses. In her bow is 7.5 tons of World Trade Center Steel, on her decks are the best and brightest crew this nation can produce and in our hearts, the hopes and dreams of a nation that will not be kept down.

Remarks by Deputy Secretary of Defense Gordon England
Christening of LPD 21, 1 March 2008, New Orleans, LA

Today is a day of reflection, remembrance and resolve. On the day the towers fell … all Americans were New Yorkers.

Some people still question why terrorists killed 3,000 people of 60 nationalities that day. I’ve concluded that they killed 3,000 because they did not know how to kill 30,000, 300,000 or 3 million, but they would have if they could have … and they are still trying.

This is not a war of our choosing. This is not a war we can ignore. This is not a war that will end if we walk away from the battlefield.

This fight, brought to our shores that day, is a struggle that will require strong, steady and sustained leadership with the enduring need for a strong military … and ships like NEW YORK.
A ship’s name is important. Ship names provide a legacy … and for the Sailors and Marines who sail in those ships ….they are a source of strength … and inspiration. This ship … stands for “life, liberty … and the pursuit of all who threaten it” and will ensure that we NEVER FORGET … 11 September 2001. They will take the fight to all who threaten peace and freedom.

The ship’s motto [Never Forget] was inspired by President Bush. I remember well when the President came to the Pentagon on 9-12 and met with the Pentagon’s senior civilian and military leaders. The Pentagon was still burning. In the conference room, you could smell the smoke and jet fuel … and feel the soot in the air. Security was high, and the military was on full alert.

I recall the President telling us to Get Ready … to get the military ready. He stressed that this war will be fought on three fronts … diplomatic, economic and military, but that the military must succeed for the Nation to win. He said, “This will be a long war – not like removing a mole, but like removing a cancer.” He said that the country needed to move on and resume life as normal, but that we, who were charged with the defense of America and freedom, could never forget what happened on 9-11. The President said, “I will never forget”. He then went around the room and looked everyone squarely in the eye and said, “Never Forget … Never Forget.”


Memorials are intended to remind us and on this Memorial Day – let us remember those who have gone before us and have given their best. Let them continue to inspire us to give our best as well. And, lastly, be reminded of why we do what we do.

God Bless America,
Chaplain Cartus Thornton

The lovliest things

Sometimes, I think it would be nice to have my bed all to myself again. It would be nice not to roll over onto a small paperback of an Amelia Bedelia book, that has been lost between the covers. Or maybe not to roll onto a little plush animal, also lost in the covers of the bed. It is hard not to lose things in bed covers, when you have so many on the bed, like we do. Two little girls each bring their own blankets when they come to my bed. We have a twin size Scooby Doo comforter, a toddler sized Dora or Princess blanket, depending on which one was grabbed, and then of course the covers that belong on my bed. There are tons of pillows and the king size bed seems sort of crowded.

Just when I want my space back, and I think I can't take it anymore, I look over to my left and I see that laying with me isn't just a mass of tangled covers and toys that don't belong, but the two most beautiful things ever put on this earth. These two gorgeous cherubic (they are sleeping) little people whom I love more than life itself.

I realize that I can reach over and touch them or kiss them, and not wake them, or even need to get get up to go do it. I can snuggle up to them, and smell their little heads. I get the gift of laying there with these two wonderful, funny, beautiful girls, and I know that I better take that gift while I have it. It won;'t be long before there is no more snuggling. They will want space of their own and Independence.

So, I guess if a book and a tiger int he back are the price I have to pay, I will pay it gladly. Heck, I'll even sleep under the Scooby Doo covers with them.