Sunday, May 31, 2009

You'll get yours, My Pretty

Today has been one of those days where you just feel the need to survive the day. You don't necessarily aim for it to be a great day, but you just want to get through it, with no casualties.

After going to sleep way too late last night, and fighting with the little one until she went to sleep at nearly 11pm, I was awoken by the same little one, way too early. She wanted me to wake up and read to her. I wanted to roll over and snore. I will let you guess who won, but since I am incredibly grumpy, you probably don't have to guess hard.

Anyway, we were nearly out of diapers, both reg diapies as the little one calls normal diapers, and Dora pull ups that we use for potty training. So, we had to venture out this morning.

First, we hit Wal-Mart. That place is designed to make you crankier anymore, let alone with kids. Of course, both of my kids were just as cranky as I am, and both decided to show off their bad behaviour in various ways. I think the big one must have ask me for everything in that place. She wanted it all. She kept touching it all. I would have put her in the cart, but it was too full of apple juice (the cheapest place to get it), diapers, and all the other junk that somehow just hops into your buggy while you are there.
The little one ask for a snack, which was great. It kept her occupied until nearly the end of our time there.
We finally get to the front, and of course, there are three registers open, and massive lines. After minutes of more grabbing and begging and yelling, we finally paid and left the building.

Somehow, I think the feeling that I get when I leave Wal-Mart with two kids in tow on a on busy day, is much like the feeling that a prisoner gets upon being released from county jail.

But I digress.

Then, we had to put everything in the car, buckle up, and head over to Von's for a tiny bit of grocery shopping.

By the grace of God, there was one of those car shopping carts for kids. So, both girls went in this time. Well, I thought it was the grace of God, until I realized that this one had no seat belts. Then, I realized it was really more like a trick of Puck, then the grace of any god. We took the cart anyway, lest there be a full on mutiny. I don't know if things would have been better or worse with a regular cart, and I don't want to speculate now, but I do know next time, if there are no seat belts, we won't be taking it.

For at least the first two minutes, the car occupied them. They were playing some sort of competitive plastic horn honking contest. Not sure who won, but it was very loud, and very serious. That's all I really got.

The little one started standing up, sticking her head through where the windshield should have been. The big one kept leaning out, and her long, long blond hair kept brushing the ground.

They continued to fight. It only got louder. At some point, the big one started beeping, and it actually angered the little one, who started yelling no. I tried to get them both to stop. Threats worked momentarily, but each one seemed to fade quickly, until another one was issued.

Finally, we were nearly done. Well, I was done long, long ago, but we were almost finished with our shopping. I headed through the frozen foods to get a frozen pizza. After we finally got one picked out, and were headed toward the front, I saw her.

At the head of the isle stood a very pretty, young woman. I would guess she was about 23 or 24. She had her long hair done perfectly. It had blond highlights on top with brown low lights under. She had side swept bangs with a wide head band just behind them. The hair behind the head band was teased a little for volume. It took some time to get all that done this morning, I am sure. She was wearing the most adorable little mini swing jacket and carrying a nice purse. All in all, she looked like every young successful person I see anymore; well put together and unfrazzeled. She stirred in me some distant memory of myself, when I had to put on make up to even go grocery shopping, because you never knew what man you might see, or what man might see you.

As we got past her, the little one started yelling "No" repeatedly, objecting to something her sister was doing. They were being loud, and wild, and kids.

She looked at the little one, well, at both of them.

Then, she laughed.

I was stressed beyond belief, just trying to get out of there, and she laughs. Now, miss "I am perfect right now" may have actually thought my kids were cute. Or she may have looked at me, all disheveled with a vein nearly popping out of my head, or who knows what, but it really didn't matter what caused it. The absolutely last thing that I needed or wanted right at that moment was a cute 23 year old looking my way and laughing, for any reason. It just breaks you down that much farther.

What I needed was a knowing, and I wish I could help, kind of look from another mom who felt for me. Maybe even a hug, but not a laugh.

Somehow, I managed to get out of there with everyone unscathed physically, after grabbing the little one's shoes, which the bagger nicely pointed out that she had taken off and laid in the floor next to our shopping cart. Though, mentally and emotionally, I had taken a beating.

I kept thinking about that young woman, and how her reaction, even if it were completely innocent, affected me right at that moment.

Now, I certainly don't wish this little chic-a-dee ill will. However, ten or so years from now, when she is in the same situation, walking through a grocery store with kids that have traipsed on every nerve she has, when her hair, or her figure, aren't so perfect anymore, and she is well past her wits end, just functioning on survival mode, I doubt her brain will work well enough to bring back this memory for her, but somehow, someway, the karmic threads of life will be balanced just a little bit more.


Tanyetta said...

this post title is perfect!

i love when people always give you the look when your kids decide to act a donkey in public.