They Have Got To Be Kidding

Instead of waiting in the monstrous pickup line to get The Big Girls after school yesterday, The Littlest One and I actually had to get out in the rain and wait outside for them since we have Girl Scouts on Tuesday at school now.  As The Littlest One and I stood outside, snuggling under the portico and trying to stay warm and dry, I started listening to the parents around me have a conversation about the weather, which is crappy, to say the least.  It has been raining for days.  Days and days, and days.  I think we are about to get Biblical here with the rain.
One mom started the typical weather discussion, because that's what you do when you are stuck outside with a bunch of people you barely know; discuss the weather.  She felt like we weren't going to have a cold winter, but that it would be unusually wet.  The other agreed.  Then, they began to discuss how we would have more bugs next year if it weren't cold enough.  The discussion went on.

What I took from all of that would be three very important things.

First, this hasn't been a cold winter.  Are they friggin kidding me??  I have been freezing to death.  The temps are regularly in the 20's when the sun goes down, and I am thrilled to death now when we hit the 50s.  Granted, we did have two days where it was very warm, into the 60s and even hit 70, but that was two days out of an entire season thus far.  I don't think that warrants tipping the scales alone.  So, that means that they generally expect it to be even colder than the days where we are hovering around freezing all the time.
I can't do this.  As a general rule, I don't consider myself a weakling.  I think I have survived a lot in my life so far, but if its going to be in the teens for months here, I need to move.  I can not take that.  I will shrivel up and freeze to death.  You can find me by looking for the big block of ice with all the flowing red hair from it.  Until, of course, my hair freezes and breaks off.  I know, morbid and extreme, but that's how the thought of freezing makes me feel.  Hate it.

Second, this is a lot of rain.  That is actually good to know.  I thought it was going to be like this all the time.  I'm no fan of rain, either.  Having had of those horrible car crashes that make the best stories when i was 18, all as a result of immature driving practices and way too much rain, I don't like to drive in it.  At all.  So, being a grown up with grown up responsibilities that I have to do, like take my children to school and pick them up, even if it is raining is a little unnerving to me.  I'm glad to know that this is an extraordinary amount of rain for the area.  I was beginning to think this was normal, and totally freak out.  I will be upset if this is a wet winter.  I don't like it, but at least I can have a little peace knowing it shouldn't always be like this.  With as many rainy, overcast days as we have had, I was beginning to think I should start looking out for sparkly vampires to live here.

Third, there will be more bugs.  I hate bugs.  I hate them as much as I hate the rain.  I am allergic to bees, and the mosquitoes here are insane.  You can not step outside with out insect repellent or you will be eaten alive by them during the summer.  Many people here have screened in porches just so that you can go outside.  Now, if the winter isn't cold enough to kill the a ton of the bugs, it will be far worse this year than last.  I can not imagine more bugs.  This is horrific.

This was not a pleasant conversation for me to hear, and then think about.  I am already hating the weather, and it looks like i need to prepare for the worst of all things I hate for a while.  IF I can take comfort in anything they said, it was that the don't think it will get much colder this time, and that is great, because I don't think I can handle much colder.

If anyone of my friends who live in California would like to rescue me, I am open to it.  You can find me, at home, trying to stay warm and dry, huddled up in the corner with a can of bug spray.

I Always Thought Blankets with Arms Were Stupid....

There have been a lot of things I should have chronicled in my move back to the south.  Yes, I do realize that I am from Tennessee, born and raised.  However, I have been gone for about 12 years give or take a bit.  That is a great portion of my adult life, and certainly more than enough time to totally adjust to and absorb a different culture.  Second, I was born and raised in North Eastern Tennessee.  It makes a difference.  The people in North East Tennessee are just different.  They are truly in the smokey mountains.  The land is harder.  They have always been of a different spirit than most of the rest of Tennessee in some ways because of it.
So, readjusting has been interesting.
Learning to understand some of the people here has been a joy.  No.  Really.  I'm not sure if I published the blog (yet) about Midi (my new nick name for The One In The Middle and pronounced "MidE")'s first Kindergarten teacher not being able to say the word jewelry, but in cased I missed it, I will give you the short version.  It took me about 5 minutes to understand in our first meeting that she wasn't talking about a jury of some sort, but telling us the girls were not allowed to wear jewelry, and "jury" is her exact pronunciation.  She is a very nice woman, but I can't say I was entirely unhappy when they moved her to 4th grade.  Though, that meant The Big One has her for science.  That I am much more ok with, since The Big One learned to read, write, and speak more clearly elsewhere.
The is just the tip of the ice burg when it comes to adjustments, and I will try to cover more of the fantastic ones again later.
My biggest adjustment right now, though, is the freaking weather.  It is cold here.  I mean really, really cold.  I was under the misapprehension that because we are about 3 hours south of where I grew up, it would stay at least a couple of degrees warmer than home.  I was wrong.  I failed to take a couple of things into account in that theory.  First, My home town is geographically blessed when it comes to winter.  It is one of the more low laying areas in the middle of the mountains.  You can think of it as sort of a basin, though not really low, surrounded by mountains all around it.  The mountains protect is from lots of different weather patterns, and manage to help it stay a little warmer.  Second, there are a couple of very large businesses who actually contribute to the weather.  The largest plant, the Eastman Chemical Company, probably keeps the town at least a degree or two warmer because of all the steam that it emits by itself, at least if you live close like we did.  I know, that isn't really good in some ways, but when considering the fact that I am freezing to death, in that regard alone, I would take it.
Now, I live int he land of lakes.  I live closer to the water's edge than i have since I had the Gulf of Mexico in my back yard (it really was when we lived on base in Corpus Christi, TX).  There must be 3 or four different large bodies of water here.  I blame the fact that it rains constantly on that, whether there is science to back that up or not.  So, we get wet weather most of the time, mixed with freaking cold temps.  For some reason, though, that doesn't mean snow so far, or not much, just ice.  Lots and lots of ice.  I'm over it already and it is just barely January.  The lows are into the 20's just about every night. The highs sometimes reach 50, but many days it doesn't.  Freakin' cold.  
I don't own a good coat anymore.  I have one that is too big now, but I will use it when I have too.  I don't want to buy another one because I refuse to buy either wool or a puffy jacket, and my options are limited because of that.  When I find one I love, I will snap it. Instead, I wear lots, and lots of layers with a thin jacket.  I have t-shirts from Old Navy made of fleece.  I wear fuzzy socks, even with shoes.
To top it all off, our house is a monster house, and who ever renovated it did some of the worst DIY jobs ever.  There is no insulation in the entire garage addition, something we didn't know when we rented it.  That isn't the only room like that, either.  Any room that was built on seems to be constantly freezing.  It doesn't help that at least three rooms have no heat in them, because lines weren't run from the heating unit.  We try not to run the space heaters until we have to, since they cost and arm and a leg to use.  So, I don't even get to really be warm inside.
That is all why I no longer think those blanket with arms things are totally stupid.  I would use one.  Every day of my life.  I would live in them, as just another layer.  I might even use two, one on the front, and one on the back to cover up the hospital gown opening.  Yes.  I am that cold.  No.  I don't care how stupid it looks.  At least then I might be warm.

I Need Bubbles

This morning, I think I am going to start looking for bubbles.
Not the kind you blow. We have tons of that stuff around.
Not from champagne, or any other drink, either. We don't need that right now.
Certainly not the old chimp from Micheal Jackson days.

No. I want big plastic bubbles. The kind you can put your kids in to keep them away from germs and everything else. I need 4 of them. Two in adult sizes and two in a child size, please.

I'm not really sure what else to do at this point. We wash hands. We carry anti-bacterial hand sanitizer, and use it. I do my best to keep everyone healthy, but apparently it just isn't working.

I know kids are walking, talking germ factories and/or magnets, but this far, this season has been ridiculous. We have had at least 2 bouts of strep throat, some colds, and maybe a little scarlet fever thrown in for good mix. Apparently, whatever comes rolling their way, they catch. This isn't good.

It has been so bad, I am actually considering flu shots for the whole family this year, and we never get flu shots. I actually think they are a little creepy. Vaccines in general creep me out, not because of all the war about whether or not they cause autism and all that, but because the idea of shooting a dead version of the actual virus you are trying to avoid straight into your body just seems really off to me. While I really do get the science behind it, the cave womyn in me says "Virus no good. Me no get." and doesn't want to get near it. Not to mention the fact that I hate needles with a passion.

Actually, hate is the wrong word. I am terrified of the little things. I think it stems from having bad veins. I don't know, but lets just say my mother has never worried about me having any tattoos. Though, I did get some piercings, but that is a whole different story.

Anyway, I'll be looking for those bubbles, and some other way to keep them germ free. In the mean time, if you see a red headed mom at a park with one of those SARS masks on, and a little blond running around with one on too, don't freak out. It's just us, sick and tired of being sick.

Shaving Moratorium

Last night, I decided that to place a temporary moratorium on shaving.

First, let me stress that this is temporary.

Second, I should add that this is not a full ban on all shaving, but only on shaving my legs.

You see, I am currently in Tennessee visiting family. It is cold here. It has gotten down into the teens. I actually mean that we have temperatures reaching into the teens, as in it was 13 degrees the other night!! That is far, far too cold for me. That is far, far too cold for most people who live in Southern California.

So, in an effort to keep myself from freezing to death, I have decided that I must immediately cease shaving my legs, and allow whatever hair that can grow in the short amount of time we will be here to try and help keep me warm.

Now I realize that this is both a little wimpy and gross, but it is all about survival here, people. I will do what I have must in order to survive until we return to the nice warm climate of California.

And, while I know that I could also use my reasoning to stop shaving my underarms, that is just plain old gross, and I won't stoop to that.

I plan on promptly ending the moratorium the moment we get back to California. Until then, I will be in pants, praying to survive this freezing weather that would bring any one acclimated to the So Cal weather to their cleanly shaven knees.