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Friday, March 6, 2009

Losing Friends

Sometimes, I really wish that I could be more like my five year old. She fights with her best friends all the time. They fight over everything. If someone gets left out of a game, because there aren't enough pieces, or one of them says they don't like the sand box anymore, they fight. They tell each other they can't be friends anymore, and one dis invites the other to an upcoming birthday party. Then the other does the same. It is heated and terrible, and hurtful for them. The great thing about being five, though, is that just a few minutes later, or maybe the next morning at most, it is all over and done with. Everyone loves everyone again, and we are all coming to the next birthday party.

I am amazed at how quickly these kids can forgive, and truly let go of the hurt. If we as adults could behave as such, the world would be a different place.

Tonight, I wish I could behave as such. I wish I could have talked to my friend who just called, instead of sitting on the phone, crying silently into a paper towel, because my feelings are hurt so badly by something she did.

I wish I could just forgive and be happy in our friendship, but I can't. I'm just not in that place. I don't know how long it will take me to let go of the hurt, or if I can, but I hope so. I want to be happy with her again. I want to celebrate with her again. I want to see her and be overjoyed for her and her big day tomorrow, but right now, I can't.

Maybe one of these days, instead of becoming more mature about the whole thing, I will act a little more immature, and take cues from my own child. I hope that like Pook does, I will just let go, and tell her that she is my best friend again even if she left me out of her game. I miss my best friend.

2 comments:

buttafly said...

:(

Tanyetta said...

I wish I would have read this BEFORE I saw you today. I would have given you a BIGGER hug. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this sweetie. Please, know that you are a beautiful person and a great friend.

I hope things get better with your friend.

This is so sad.