Tuesday, October 26, 2010

So, Apparently I Have a Crappy Reaction Too

The Big One has been beyond excited about the new baby coming. It has been such a pain to keep her quiet. We didn't want to tell anyone until after we hit 12 weeks. We made the mistake of telling her about 6 days before that. She had the hardest time. The first day after we told her, when she came home from school, I ask her who she told.
Her eyes got big. She couldn't look me directly in the face.

"No one."

"Who did you tell?"

"I didn't tell anyone. They just looked at your stomach and guessed."

"Who did you tell?"

"Well, I only said 'b' and they thought you had a bee on you. So, then I had to tell them no, and they just figured it out."

"Who did you tell?"


And is has been like that every day. Our appointment was on a Thursday. So, on Wednesday, she couldn't take much more. She told everyone, and I mean everyone, that she had a huge family seceret that she couldn't share. That includes telling her teacher. I have since ask her never to tell her teacher that there is a family secret she can't share again.

We go to the appointment, and get to see the baby. We release her from her bond of silence. You would really think that chains had fallen off her.

As soon as we got to school the next morning, she ran to her class and started telling all of her little girl friends. I know she was telling them because one at a time they all looked at my stomach, then smalled and laughed. Some of them told her conratulations, which I found quit funny from one seven year old to another.

Afterschool that day, I ask her who all she told.


"Really? Eveyrone?"

"Well, no. Not everyone. I only told my whole class. I didn't get to tell everyone out of my class yet."

Ahhh....I see.

So it has been everywhere we go, with each friend we see. We had Girl Scouts yesterday. She ask me if she could tell her leader, Ms. Sarah. I told her that was fine. Though we both have a claim to Sarah, I as a friend, and she as an adult in her life, she is way more into telling than I am, obviously.
She ran in, and instantly blurted out the news. Ms. Sarah looked at me and ask if it was true, she does know The Big One pretty well after all. I confirmed it.

We talked about it for a bit, but I admit, I am not excited when I talk about it. I kind of make it sound like no big deal, so much so, that Sarah remarked on my lack of exuberance. Apparently, I am the one who isn't reacting well for other people.

It isn't that I don't care, or that I am not excited. I am. This, though, is our third child, and I don't feel like running up to everyone I know and telling them that we are expecting. I don't want my every conversation to be about the baby. That's what first time moms do. I'm not there anymore. This baby is a whole new chapter in our lives, and one that I am happy about for sure, though. I look forward to meeting it, and loving this brand new little person who will change our lives in so many wonderful ways. I look forward to new experiences, and experiences that will be new all over again.

I guess I just need to work on my own facial expressions and things. Maybe its the fact that no one I love has really been happy for us, and it is starting to affect my own outlook. Maybe once I'm not so tired and nauseous that I want to spend the entire day in bed, I can muster up the energy for a better reaction myself. I'm not sure, but I promise to work on it. After all, I can't expect the world to be happy for us, if they don't think I am happy for us.