Happy Pregnant People Are From Mars

The other day, I was talking to another mom about how many people we know that have been surrogates. I think being a surrogate is a wonderful, beautiful thing. Women who are willing to put themselves and their bodies through all that for someone else are doing such an incredible thing.

They are also off their freakin' rockers.

They must be.

Ok. That was (mostly) a joke, but I can tell you I won't be one of those glorious pregnant woman sitting on a lily pad somewhere worshiping their own round figure and loving every moment of being with child. No. No thank you. Not even for all the money in the world. Maybe, and I mean only maybe, if it was for my own sister and she needed it desperately, but even that would take some convincing.

I hated being pregnant. Hated it. Each time. It's like having the flu, with all the nausea, aches, and pains, and having your body invaded by an alien, at the same time. For those that have never been pregnant, if you saw Aliens, and how those things burst out of people's stomachs, it really isn't much different.

Being pregnant was actually one of the most horrible things I have gone through. It is painful, and I don't mean the delivery, which certainly is as well, but the pregnancy itself can be excruciating. With one of The Girls, my hips seemed to be spreading to wide, too quickly. So, picking up my legs more than an inch was so painful, it nearly made me cry. I couldn't even get into the bathtub each night without a break down. My back ached constantly. It hurt to stand for too long. It hurt to sit for too long. It just hurt. You get sudden, terrible pains in your va-jay-jay, and that isn't pretty. I haven't even started on the three months of constantly feeling like your going to vomit in the beginning.

No, it isn't fun. It isn't glorious. Not for me, anyway. It just stinks.

I'm not trying to say that I regret being pregnant, or having children. Not in the least. I love The Girls, and I am so thankful for them. That doesn't mean I had to love the process. No. It just means I've been there, done that, got the t-shirt, stretch marks, scars, and saggy boobs to prove it, and I don't need to do it again. Actually, I didn't even get a t-shirt, which was the best thing in that list. That, and I don't know what would happen to my boobs if I did it again. I can't imagine how much more damage could be done to them, and I don't want to think about it. That might give even me nightmares of walking around with flap jacks tied to my waist.

So, if you love being pregnant, consider yourself lucky.

I am not that lucky.

And, if you are a mom of a pre-teen or teenager, feel free to let them read this word for word, confirm for them everything I stated, then make it sound even worse with your own experiences. Hey, we moms need to stick together,and keep our own children from going through this for as long as possible.

And The Sign Said "People with children need not come...to school"

Tonight was Back To School Night, aka Open House, at The Big One's school.

We didn't go because at the last minute, we were un invited.

Rude, huh.

I love Back To School night. I love talking to the teacher, checking out the classroom, all of it. I love being a part of her day to day experience, in any way I can. I try to be involved at school as much as I possibly can.

Then, today, I was told I wasn't wanted.

Well, only because I have children. The event was deemed adults only. Unfortunately, I have no one else to care for my children tonight, especially not when they notify you last minute. The first I heard that this was adults only was yesterday, when The Big One came home. She said something about it, but it sounded more like a request, understandable, and believe me, if it were easy and free for me to get a sitter at the drop of a hat, or if MimMim (grandma) lived here, I wouldn't take them anywhere I didn't need to, especially not when I wanted to talk to my child's teacher about that child. Shew. That would be great. Unfortunately, that isn't our reality. Our reality is that we are often a one parent household by way of the U.S. Navy, and definitely don't have the budget for an on call nanny. So, where I go, they go. I guess the school decided that wasn't ok with them.

I have a few issues with all of this. Just a few.

1) We are in a predominantly military area. This means many of the families that attend this school, like us, have no family, and no one to call on in a pinch that would be free. So, we are excluded from all adults only activities.

2) The notice was totally unacceptable. We got a phone call, followed immediately by a email carbon copy of the phone message, only this morning, after school had started. While it may have been difficult, had someone made this very clear the first day of school, which I grant you was just about a week ago, I could have called around to friends and begged for a little help. Someone, with some notice, would have been able to help me, but telling after the school day has started to suddenly change my plans is so unrealistic, I can't believe anyone who has ever been a parent would have done this.

3) The worst part of all it, and there are other arguments that could be made as to why having open house be adults only is wrong, is that we are a Title 1 school. Being a Title 1 school means that you have been recognized as having a large portion of your student population who belong to economically disadvantaged families. The schools are setup with extra funding and specific guidelines to assist these families in breaking down the barriers to those children's success. One of the greatest barriers to a child's success in school is a lack of parental involvement, and Title 1 schools are specifically supposed to combat that. In fact, they are required to have in place a plan on how they intend to improve communication between the school and parents. It would seem to me, that what this school did goes against everything that being a Title 1 school is supposed to be about. They, in fact, put up a specific barrier between the school and parents tonight.

The school could have done something that many other schools do; offer on site child care for those that had to bring their children. However, when I called to inquire as to why I was dis invited today, the front office staff told me that they had no place for childcare. I suppose that very large multipurpose room where were initially supposed to gather, then separate to our individual classes, wouldn't contain all the children that would be left behind? Wait. That doesn't make any sense. So, someone, somewhere, just dropped the ball, and upset parents. At the very least, I am upset.

I know for sure that there are parents who will be bringing children with them. I know there will be rule breakers. I am just not one of those parents. I might have feigned ignorance of this ridiculous demand, especially since it was sent so late I could have actually missed it, but I got called out earlier. My husband, trying to help out, and find out as much as he could, went to the teacher to ask what I should do, as the teacher and I had planned to discuss my assisting him with something right away tonight. The teacher ask that I meet with him tomorrow. So, I just couldn't go against his wishes.

While I am very upset, heartbroken truthfully, I will handle it the any adult will. I will make a huge fuss, stomp my foot a lot, and then be sure things are changed for the better. Hurting my daughter, though, is crossing the line. She was very excited for me to see her classroom, and so on. She said she cleaned her desk really hard today. She was totally heartbroken to see me so upset.

I will talk to the principal, and make sure they try to fix all of this before the next open house, because we just can't have The Big One hurt again, and she shouldn't be by a silly policy like this.

Morning Sickness Sucks

There is no other, more succinct way to put it, but this sucks.

As I type, I am trying to eat, and, more importantly, keep down, a protein bar. I know on my other blog I said I was going to give them up, but here is my reality check, I don't think I can eat anything else, and I know I need to eat.

For over a week now, I have been a little nauseous. Not too much, and I hadn't thrown up. When it would hit, I would take a sip of a cold, carbonated beverage, breath slowly, and I could hold on until it passes. I was doing that so much, that the Husband even ask if part of it could be in my head. Don't try to throw things at him through the screen, you will only break your computer and in all honesty, I had started to wonder the same thing. I remember it being much worse with my other two.

So, the lack of vomit, in my mind, meant that this nausea wasn't real, and I was hoping for it to be. You see, we don't have a good track record when it comes to pregnancies. The ones that don't end well, usually have no symptoms, like a lack of vomit. So it was all very possible that some part of me just really, really wanted to throw up.

Careful what you wish for.

This morning it hit. Hard. Like a ton of very nauseous bricks.

We were on the way to take The Husband to work, as we are currently in a one car predicament. Suddenly, I felt it. I yelled, made him pull over, and threw the door open. I knew I was going to lose it right there on the side of the road.
Thankfully, as he really needed to get to work and hit the head before it was too late, I was able to hold that one off and get back on the road.
I didn't feel well, though.
I started nibbling on pretzels, and sipping my Coke Zero, something which I will not give up no matter how many people tell me to, (so don't bother), and I was able to make it home.

Then, my mom called.

Now, we have told no one. I mean no one. We won't tell anyone until about 12 weeks, or after we hear a heart beat, at least once, if not more.

This time, when it hit, I couldn't stop what I was doing and breath slowly. If I had yelled and gotten off the phone, she would have known that something was wrong. She ask a question. I had to answer, and that did it.

There I was, trying to cover the phone, and vomit into the sink. She kept talking, an I had to keep responding. Let me assure you, it is very difficult to carry on a calm, light hearted conversation, and vomit at the same time.

I did throw in a couple of allergy sniffs, just for good measure, in case I got questions.

As soon as I stopped vomiting, I got my drink, and was able to calm it down.

She never said anything.

This just reminds me of the time that I stood outside a restaurant, blowing chunks like there was no tomorrow, wile His Family sat inside. They had no idea I was pregnant with The Big One, and we were trying to keep it that way. They sat there thinking I didn't like the choice of place, and didn't want to come in, but contrary to what they thought, I wasn't being stuck up at all. The truth was, they didn't want me to come in, at least not until I could quit with the ralphing, they just didn't know it.

So, the secret stays for now. I am pretty sick, though. I can only hope that I don't give myself away, especially not in front of The Girls, who don't know yet either.

Wish me luck, and I hope you laugh about this when you read it months from now. ; )

9/8/10

Oh How I Love School....

Tomorrow is the first day back to school for the kidlets around here.

It is an exciting day. The Big One is thrilled to death. Thankfully, she still loves school, and can't wait to go back. Honestly, I think she is just bored to tears of her sister and I, and can't wait to get away from us, but I'll take the enthusiasm how ever I can get it.

If you want the real honest truth, I think I am more excited than she is. I think summer must have lasted 30 lifetimes this time. At least, I feel like I have aged that much having them both home, together, fighting every single day. Holy crap have they fought. If I could have a dollar, make that even a dime, for each time I have had to yell "Stop fighting!" or some thing much meaner but along those same lines, our little problems with the truck needing repair would be solved, because I could afford to by a new one. In dimes.

Really, The Big One is a smart, spunky kid, who needs to be challenged, and loves to learn. If I don't constantly direct this, she gets bored easily, and it causes problems.

We have worked a little on this and that this summer. She has started a cursive workbook, because some how learning that is cooler than anything else. She has also been reading quite a bit. She has really gotten into the American Girl series of books, and The Baby Sitter's Club, Both of which I liked when I was younger, and am thrilled that she does as well. I am stoked that I have at least one reader in the family. Hopefully, when The Little One gets bigger, she will be as well.

She is also excited to meet her new teacher this year, who happens to be a man. I am as well. I'm not sure what he is like, but I have high hopes. Lots of men who teach young kids tend to be funnier, and more light hearted. If this holds true, and think she will love him more than just about any other teacher.

Don't get me wrong, while I am excited to have her back at school, I will miss her too. The Little One certainly will. As much as they fight, they hang out and play together as well. I know that having it be just the two of us again will be a bit of a shock for her at first, but I think once she realizes how much she and I will get to do, she will be fine with it. I have lots of fun things planned for us already. This is the age that I love to play lots of fun learning games at, and now she and I will have more time, without an interrupting older sister who loves to yell out the answers she already knows. I think The Little One will really begin to enjoy our special time with out her sister pretty quickly.

Not only that, but she can secretly for to the playroom, and play with every Barbie in sight, without getting caught and screamed at, as long as we both clean it up before The Big One comes home.

All in all, I can't wait for the school year to start. Even though it means 6:00am mornings and making a pot of coffee a day just to survive, I'll gladly take it.

"My Alphabet Backwards"

Have I mentioned before how different My Girls are? Night and Day is an apt description.

Their Father was playing a mean little game with them tonight. He was holding a very tasty freshly made cookie over their heads,

Finally, he told The Big One, she could have it, if she could say her alphabet backwards.
What he actually said was "You can have it, if you say 'Your alphabet backwards'". Of course, she didn't get it, and immediately began to try, slowly, to go through the alphabet.

She got stuck at "r". I just stopped her, and told her to think carefully about what her father had said. She didn't understand.

After about 10 minutes, and the 3rd time I gave up and then tried all over again to help her, I finally got her to understand.

She turns, looks at her little sister and said "Say 'your alphabet backwards'"

The Little One looked right at her, and said "alphabet backwards". Then laughed her self silly.

Oh my.

One Decade Down

Today is my 10th wedding anniversary.

It is a pretty big deal. I have spent about a third of my life with the same person, sharing everything. We have had hard time and easy times, good times and bad times. We are here, though, through it all, together, to mark the big 10 year anniversary.

This also makes a different sort of anniversary for me. Today marks ten years that I have served my country in my own way, as a military spouse. This is just as big of a deal as hitting the decade of marriage. Ten years ago, when I said "I do", I also said "I will". I said that I will be there, when he is gone. I will take care of our home, and everything in it, when he suddenly leaves. I will go through our pregnancy alone, him leaving after we found out, and if I had to, I would even deliver alone, though thankfully we avoided that one. I will be a single parent when I have to, and learn to deal with that, even if I don't like it. I will try to comfort my children and make them feel ok, even though I know how much it hurts to be left behind when they leave. I will take care of the home front, because that is my job. I will be here, sending you positive vibes every day of my life, willing you to come home to use, safely. I will stand behind you, love, and support you, even when I don't like what comes my way, where it takes us, and what you have to do for your career, because I am a military wife.

That "I will" stands just as firm today as it did 10 years ago. Still today, and everyday, I, and every military spouse and family, give above and beyond the call of duty to do their part. We know, this is who we are, and what we do. We serve in our own way, each and every day.

I am proud today. I am happy to have survived the last decade together, and look forward to the next, no matter what it brings.

So...Uhhh...Yeah.

Today.

Well.

The day is just barely half over, and already it has been the biggest rollercoaster day I have had in a long time.

You see, today, I found something out. Something that will undoubtly change me and my life yet again, and rather profoundly. I hope for the better. I pray for the better.
I am scared.
Make that terrified.

I don't know what this will bring. I can only hope that things will be for the best.

Big changes. Huge.

I haven't told anyone my little secret yet. So, I won't be publishing this just yet. In fact, I am going to be blogging a lot, and setting the publish date for 9 months out. Then, everyone will know, and we can all find out together how things turn out.

Wish us luck. I think we are going to need it.

9/1/10