Thursday, April 30, 2009

My Mother...

In one of my thousand calls with my mom this week, I got what had to be the best news that I have heard in sometime. It ranks right up there with hearing that your daughters are fine after they are born.

My mom is no longer fighting cancer. She is done. She has been dealing with cancer for over 6 years now, between finding out she had it, the surgery, the chemo, radiation, and even the pill form of chemo. She finally finished her last pill, and was given the all clear.

I can not tell you how happy that makes me. I can not express to you how my heart feels when I think about my mom, no longer needing those medications, and actually being healthy. I realize, though it saddens me, that she will never be the same as she was before that disease afflicted her body, but she is better and hopefully, now that those drugs are going to begin to leave her system, she will continue to get stronger.

As mother's day is fast approaching, I am even more pensive about how much she means to my life.

She is not just my mom, she is my friend. She is the person who taught me to be me. She is the one from whom I draw my creative and cooking inspirations. More importantly, she is my daily inspiration. The older I get, the more I want to be like her. I want to have her knack for witty comebacks. I want to have the patience and wisdom that she has, to know when not to use those comebacks.
No matter my age, I think I will always aspire to be someone that she will be proud of. I want to be a good mother, like her, and be a strong woman, like her.

She really is my rock, if ever anyone was such a thing.

I will never forget the day that she told me she had breast cancer. It was both a beautiful and painful day. She found out in January of that year that she had cancer. I was pregnant with our first child at the time. We don't have the best history when it comes to pregnancies. She decided that she didn't want to risk the stress of telling me. So, she told no one. Not one person knew that she had cancer. My dad finally guessed, but she had no intention of telling him until it was time, either. She put off her treatment, and waited. I never knew. My husband was deployed, and we had planned on my mom being in the birthing room with me. She made plans to come down and stay with me for a month before the baby came. She came down, but still I didn't know. My husband came home early and was able to be there for our daughter's birth. Mom wasn't in the room, as we had to go into an OR, but she was there, waiting. She was in the postpartum room when I got there, waiting. She had gotten to see her grandchild.

It was there, in that postpartum room that I found out. She told me that she had cancer, and had kept it s secret for me. She had to tell me right away, because she had to head home immediately to have surgery, and begin her treatment for the disease. She had waited for me, and suffered for me. Her sister, my aunt, who was with her, didn't even know. She bore that burden alone for months, in order to protect me, and my unborn child. I can not imagine what it took to do that alone, but I love her all the more for it.

As I said, she is my rock, and I can not imagine my life without her. I think that if I stopped calling my mom, the phone company would call to check on my line of their own accord. It is that serious.

So, this post is for the most fabulous, intelligent, and inspiring woman that has ever graced this earth, at least my portion of it, my mother. Thank you for being you, and being my mom. I love you, mom, forever and always.


Just Me said...

That is great news. I hope she has been getting stronger since this post.