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Wednesday, January 7, 2009

I have a what??!!??

Let me tell you, husbands, boyfriends, men of the world in general, what you do not, repeat, NOT say to your wife of many years.
The womyn who has given birth to your children.
The womyn who has waited back home, patiently, faithfully, for many, many months, just her and your child, while you were off in another part of the world.
The womyn who has been by your side through thick and thin.

You do NOT walk up to this womyn, put your arms around her in a hug, then look at her face and say "I think your starting to get a unibrow".

When she immediately rebukes you, you then do not proceed to try to explain yourself, and show her the particular hairs you mean. Furthermore, when her temper flairs beyond belief, you don't laugh. Not if you value your life, you don't.

Someone, anyone, should have told this to my husband. I don't know what on this earth (or from far below it more likely) possessed him to say such a thing, but he did.

I told him he may as well go ahead and tell me I look like I have gained weight. Why stop there? Tell me which clothes I wear make me look the fattest, then proceed to trace the wrinkle lines in my face. I mean, why not tear me down???

Why???

"Why would you say such a thing?", I ask him.

"It wasn't mean."

"Now that is just dumb." I don't use that word lightly. In fact, that is probably one of the few, if not the only, times in our years together that I have used that word in direct reference to my husband or his actions. However, I call them like I see them. To think that telling your wife she has a unibrow isn't mean or hurtful, is dumb. It is. You just don't do that. He doesn't tell me how to groom. Why would he start now, there??

In fact, I don't think he even knows what a unibrow really is. What I have, are a couple of hairs that have to be smoothed into place from time to time, especially after I just rolled up out form underneath the dining room table where I was cleaning both the back legs that I can't reach any other way, and the underside of the table lip. Yeah. They might have been a little out of place, but I can't pluck those few long hairs I have, because fact is that with out them, I barely have any eyebrows naturally at all!!!! What you see in pictures is drawn on. My mom is the same way. The older we get, the less we have by way of eyebrow, too. So, unibrow, it was and is not.

Cold shoulder, now that you have. Harumph!!

1 comments:

Days like These! said...

i know that's right! good thing is, i'm sure he's going to spend the next few days figuring out a way to get in on your good graces. LOL