Tuesday, December 7, 2010

MY Sweet Sensitive Child

This Big One is very much a sensitive child.  She takes everything to heart.  Right now, that is working against her.
She is having a difficult time dealing with the death of her friend's mother.  At her age, having a friend's mother die is a total shock.  That stuff is supposed to happen when your friend is 50, not 7, but here it is.

All day today, she needed me.  This child doesn't need me unless the milk jug is too full and she knows she will spill it.  Today, though, I was needed constantly.  It took forever to do math homework.  Again, this child does not need me.  She is well, and I mean well, above average when it comes to math.  Today, though, I had to show her how to do each problem again and again.  At one point, I finally had to go do laundry and get out of eyesight or else she would have really wanted me to sit and explain each little problem to her repeatedly, and that doesn't help her learn. She needed to sit by me, on me, on the couch tonight. She had to be in the kitchen with me no matter what I was doing.  I had to turn the water on for her bath, because I get it right.  I needed to wrap her towel around her after bath.  I needed to put her to bed, and stay in bed with her, which I did, until she fell asleep.  All day today, she needed me.

She is scared.   She needs to know that I am there.  I have opened the door many times to talk about what happened, but she doesnt' want to, not yet.

We did manage to talk about her friend.  I explained that even The Big One doesn't want to talk about the death and how she feels, she needs to let her friend talk to her.  She doesn't have to respond verbally, or discuss it, but just be a friend and listen.  I explained to her that it might make her friend feel better to get to talk about her mom to someone who will listen, and The Big One can do that.

Bless her little heart, when I told her how it makes you feel better to talk to about someone that you lost she said that it was like when I talk about Princess, my old family dog who died long before The Big One was born.  She had tears in her eyes when she told me that she loved Princess too because of all of the stories my Mom and I tell her.  It was so sweet.  She is just that kind of child.  She feels everything, for everyone.  While that can be a wonderful attribute, it can also make like a little harder sometimes, like right now.

It was a difficult day.  Hopefully tomorrow will be a little better, and each day we can gain back a little of her independence.  I will dote on her a little extra each day, and make sure she knows I love her, and am here for her.  I will always be here for her, as long as I am here.  I love The Girls more than anything in this world, and if it means turning on their bath water when they are 17, and they just need me, so be it.  That's what moms do when you hurt.  We kiss it and make it better.  The Big One got lots and lots of kisses today, and has lots more coming in the days to come.