Tuesday, December 21, 2010

No. No. I won't be making that appointment.

As I posted before, my OB wants me to see a surgeon.  The surgeon that has handled my hernia stuff before doesn't have privileges at the women's hospital I will be delivering at.  So, she won't be able to do it.  The OB put in a referral for a general surgeon, and I'll give you one guess who called today.

Don't need it?

Yup.  Naval Hospital Balboa.

They have the first right of refusal on everything.  So, anytime a referral goes through the system, someone there decides if they will take the case or not.  At least, that is what I was told.  Apparently, they want me now.
If you cause it, you can't fix it.  That is my rule.

Instead of having a total conniption fit, though, I just told them that this would be a problem since we needed to have the surgeon in room at my delivery, and I wouldn't be delivering there.
They guy took notes and will call me back.

This better be the end of it, because you can believe that no Dr there will ever be touching me again.  Ever.
I've been violated enough by one Dr there.  I mean, just the though of going back there to get my records makes me feel awful.  Its like visiting the scene of the crime and the fact that they turned the delivery of my child into something that feels like a crime really pisses me off.  I mean pisses me off. What should have been one of the most beautiful, memorable experiences of my life, was taken from me.  There certainly was a crime.  I was robbed of the joy and love that should fill my memories of that day.  While having my child here is wonderful, the day she was born, and the aftermath, will never be what they should have been in my memories.  I live the with physical pain of what they did every day of my life, and I will for the rest of my life.

So, the idea that they would even think that I would ever come back there is beyond laughable to at least ludicrous.

No.  I won't be making that appointment.  Ever.

I don't want to go all Mamma Bear here. I'm going to stay positive, and not make rash plans.  Just know that I will mean it when I say I won't be there.  From the bottom of my heart, one of the organs that didn't get screwed up by them, I mean it.


justblameeve said...

I tried to leave a comment and this website was moody like my Irish father.